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  1. #51
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I don't know you very well, but you seem to me to give off a bit of a mom vibe.

    No offense intended, but that would turn me off.

    That being said, you seem like you might make an awesome partner, if you met the right guy.

    And there are guys out there who will not be turned off by the mom vibe (if that is an accurate observation, in the first place).

    Ironically, you might not be attracted to the guys who would not be turned off by it, though.

    Who knows, though... I don't know you too well...

    I've heard the mom thing before. Honestly, it's just because I nag and I'm female. I'll bet the vibe is stronger here since I have an advice thread, though. Generally, I'd rather call that vibe "protective" or "big-sisterly", i.e. I care about keeping my people safe and headed in the right direction. Doesn't have the same negative connotation, and is more accurate overall.

    And it does make sense that you'd be turned off by it... Of all the types I've met, INTJs are probably the least welcoming of Je being used on them, be it Fe or Te. Someday I will figure out how you guys can be Te-aux and still feel obligated to avoid exercising your Te...

    Re: the bolded. My theory is that the guys who aren't turned off by it -- and the guys who I am more attracted to, both physically and mentally -- are inconveniently older than me. And by "inconveniently", I mean: I am an undergrad, and I hang out with undergrads, but I'm more attracted to people who are old enough to be Master's or PhD students. But when am I going to hang out with PhD students?!

    /rambling
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    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    I've heard the mom thing before. Honestly, it's just because I nag and I'm female. I'll bet the vibe is stronger here since I have an advice thread, though.
    As I said before, I'm really not that familiar with your posts.

    I just see them randomly.

    And I think you have the "Ask an ESTJ" thread, but I've never gone inside it.

    That being said, these observations sound like there's some truth to them.



    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    And it does make sense that you'd be turned off by it... Of all the types I've met, INTJs are probably the least welcoming of Je being used on them, be it Fe or Te.
    Ummm... I'm certainly bothered by Fe...

    Not sure if it's the same when it comes to Te...

    EDIT:

    In terms of telling me what to do: shut the fuck up, unless I've granted you that authority.

    If it comes to breaking down the truth of some topic: I'm always open to listen.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Someday I will figure out how you guys can be Te-aux and still feel obligated to avoid exercising your Te...






    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Re: the bolded. My theory is that the guys who aren't turned off by it -- and the guys who I am more attracted to, both physically and mentally -- are inconveniently older than me. And by "inconveniently", I mean: I am an undergrad, and I hang out with undergrads, but I'm more attracted to people who are old enough to be Master's or PhD students.
    A bit more brutal honesty: since when was that a big age difference?

    When I was 26, I dated a 38-yr old for awhile.

    I was thinking you were talking like 20+ yrs or something.

    Like old men in diapers don't care about the mommyness, cuz they might need their bedpan changed.

    That's not a big age difference at all; in fact, in most cases, it'll fall well into the divide by 2, plus 7 rule.

    And that is the most sacred equation in the universe.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    But when am I going to hang out with PhD students?!
    Umm... maybe it was just where I went to school, but, from what I recall, every male graduate student wanted to bone their undergrad students. It really shouldn't be that tough. Most of those guys are geeky, and an opportunity to get some will most certainly be followed.


  3. #53
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Oooo, someone be honest with me. Do I come across as moral highhorse-ish? I'm fairly concerned about this...
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  4. #54
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    Ummm... I'm certainly bothered by Fe...

    Not sure if it's the same when it comes to Te...

    EDIT:

    In terms of telling me what to do: shut the fuck up, unless I've granted you that authority.

    If it comes to breaking down the truth of some topic: I'm always open to listen.
    ^ This is what I'm talking about. It strikes me as being more friendly towards Ti than Te.




    Here's what I associate with ExTJ Te: Seeing something being done wrong, and correcting the wrong in a constructive way, making sure that it won't be done wrong again.

    Here's what I associate with INTJ Te: Seeing something being done wrong, and either correcting the wrong without wanting to elaborate on why it's wrong (b/c it "wastes too much energy on stupid people"), or "respecting people's freedom to be stupid" and not correcting them at all -- and instead just making fun of them or laughing at them from the sidelines.

    I understand that it isn't typical of all INTJs to be like this, but the INTJs I know are like that and they drive me nuts for it.
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    Do I come across as moral highhorse-ish?
    No, not really.

    But I have noticed that ENFPs can have this quality.

    I might just not have seen it from you.

    You could still do it, though.


  6. #56
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    Oooo, someone be honest with me. Do I come across as moral highhorse-ish? I'm fairly concerned about this...
    Not from my experience? It certainly isn't my first impression of you. Maybe you're like that and I didn't know about it?
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

  7. #57
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    @EJCC - Absolutely not. However, it depends what kind of men you are going for. You are pretty down to earth, smart, common sense-ish and I would guess like most ESTJs competently self-sufficient. For a guy who is under 25 or 30, that could be something that would make them feel less sure of themselves and what they have to offer. Hence why you get along better with guys who are too old for you. You aren't likely to be interested in the frat boy crowd, nor do you give off the sorority girl partier vibe. You don't seem like much of a casual dater, so that narrows the field, particularly at the age and stage of life you are at.

    @Edahn - I think you have some of the basic makings of a good therapist/counsellor personality wise. You are curious and interested in what's around you. Since you have family members with some background in that profession, I think you also have an idea of what you would be getting in for. I would question whether your attention span for it would last or whether it mightn't end up being a hobby of sorts for you and also whether you wouldn't somehow find it difficult to avoid drawing attention to yourself more than focussing on your patients. Sometimes it seems that you enjoy your neuroses or angst as a way to change things up when you get bored with yourself or your surroundings. I wonder if you maybe sometimes create chaos just for the fun of finding your way out of it.

    @Purple - I am inclined to think that you have some kind of substance problem, although I'd readily acknowledge that my only knowledge of you is what I've observed here and the details you've given. It is difficult to tell for sure though, especially if there are mental health issues that could also be coming into play. These are the reasons I think you may have a problem though:
    - You are chronically depressed and use substances mabye to temporarily make you feel better, numb out or because you just don't care.
    - Your family is extremely worried about you and you feel restricted by the lack of freedom you are being given. Your brother would like you to live at his place.
    - You are frequently broke or beyond broke.
    - You often post drunk.
    - You go on sprees of suicidal or aggressive talk and then seem to even out.
    - You talk about engaging in risk-taking behaviours fairly frequently.
    - Many of your posts (bordering on most?) make references to drugs or alcohol.
    - Most of the pictures I've seen of you include alcohol.
    - You're asking this question.
    - You generally seem soft-spoken, but take on a different character when you do drugs or drink.

    None of these in and of themselves necessarily indicate an addiction, but all together, make it seem like a likely possibility to me. These are just my general impressions though...

  8. #58
    Emperor/Dictator kyuuei's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RevlisZero View Post
    What kind of impression do I give on this forum?
    At least with me so far: None.
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  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    ^ This is what I'm talking about. It strikes me as being more friendly towards Ti than Te.
    Umm... since when did NiTe not have to do with breaking down the truth of something?

    I think ESTJs are a bunch of slave-drivers, and I could really give a shit about listening to their imperatives.

    I know damn well what I'm doing, and what I want to do, and I have no reason to listen to them, unless I've granted them that authority.

    And considering Ni+Te is better at breaking down the truth of things than Si+Te, then, especially when it comes to ESTJs, they only really have the slave-driver thing. ISTJs at least I'm willing to listen to for a refreshing bit of Si, which is so goddam-grounded, it's a refreshing counter to my constant perspective-shifting. It's like an ancient wisdom laid down, with no possibility for it being wrong: it is the perspective that time has proven most worthy.

    ESTJs, though: all up in your shit, trying to tell you how to live your life.

    And in that narrow-minded Si sorta way.

    No thanks: not needed, not wanted.

    Quote Originally Posted by EJCC View Post
    Here's what I associate with ExTJ Te: Seeing something being done wrong, and correcting the wrong in a constructive way, making sure that it won't be done wrong again.

    Here's what I associate with INTJ Te: Seeing something being done wrong, and either correcting the wrong without wanting to elaborate on why it's wrong (b/c it "wastes too much energy on stupid people"), or "respecting people's freedom to be stupid" and not correcting them at all -- and instead just making fun of them or laughing at them from the sidelines.

    I understand that it isn't typical of all INTJs to be like this, but the INTJs I know are like that and they drive me nuts for it.


    No, to be honest, that's a pretty good description.

    You've had me chuckling under my breath for a good 10-15 seconds.

  10. #60
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    A bit more brutal honesty: since when was that a big age difference?

    When I was 26, I dated a 38-yr old for awhile.

    I was thinking you were talking like 20+ yrs or something.
    It's a bigger difference when you only just turned 21. That tends to make even 25-30 year olds feel like they're robbing the cradle.

    I was on an interstate bus a month or two ago and totally hit it off with a guy in his mid-30's... and in the middle of our several-hour-long conversation, it became obvious to me that he was crushing on me and creeped out by his own crush. He would get to talking to me on my level and then immediately make some comment about how young I am to be interested in the things he's interested in... Frustrating for him and for me.
    Umm... maybe it was just where I went to school, but, from what I recall, every male graduate student wanted to bone their undergrad students. It really shouldn't be that tough. Most of those guys are geeky, and an opportunity to get some will most certainly be followed.

    If all I wanted was to "get some", I wouldn't be having this conversation. @fidelia's post was spot-on (as usual ), regarding this.
    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    I think ESTJs are a bunch of slave-drivers, and I could really give a shit about listening to their imperatives.
    My blunt response: That kind of attitude is closed-minded and frustrating as hell, but I'm going to ignore it in your case because I know your opinion is based on Fi and is therefore near impossible to change, without going through a draining and frustrating argument.

    So I'm not going to give you imperatives Instead I'll say, genuinely: Thanks for your blunt honesty, regarding my question!
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



    ESTJ - LSE - ESTj (mbti/socionics)
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    want to ask me something? go for it!

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