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  1. #21
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I love alarms from my phone, and I never thought of doing that for household routines. The most important one I have is my "go teach class!" alarm. One of these days I'm going to forget to show up for my students.

    I don't have the routines yet, I just know that my life would be better if I had them. Right now I have two important things written on the back of either hand. A few days ago I accidentally forgot to transfer nice new bedsheets into the dryer, and they sat wet in the washer and got smelly.
    my hands and wrists are always covered with writing as well... I can remember any weird and unimportant fact that nobody ever needs to know, and I can completely memorize a sales territory in a manner that tends to freak out the occasional coworker, but I can't remember when to do essential things like pay bills or put gas in my car half of the time without a reminder

    I fear for my mind when I get older :horor:
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  2. #22
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    the more stupid grown up things that I have to do, the more aware I am that I truly suck at doing them because they require an attention span a bit longer than that posessed by the average beta fish or something... and I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only one on here who sucks at being an adult... however, I do have faith in the board here that SOME members might know the solution to the issues presented and that they MIGHT be nice enough to explain some of this stuff!

    how to realize when the bastard at the auto garage is overcharging you

    I took my car in last december to get all new tires, breaks and a new wheel bearing because it was sounding fairly shitty when I was driving it around and stopping and such. I paid $1,500 for all of that because I have no clue what things on cars cost. I bitched about it to my dad because I really don't like being parted from my money and he told me that the price sounded a little high to him, so I spent the past several months asking auto garages that I was signing up for work what THEY thought about it... the universal agreement was that I had paid WAY too much and that it was probably because I'm a girl AND I refer to car parts as "that part that makes the thingie that does ___ work properly"

    obviously I need to learn this stuff unless I want to spend the rest of my life getting overcharged... unfortunately, it isn't stuff that I find to be the slightest bit interesting... how do you prevent yourself from overpaying out of ignorance on car repairs?
    Simple, do what you did after you were overcharged only do it BEFORE. Shop around first, then choose the place that is cheapest. Especially when you're having a lot of work done. Most major garages will have general maintenance prices quoted somewhere in the shop. For example: An oil change just about anywhere I've been is about $30 with a free fluids and tire check included. Tires can run you about $500. Most of the costs from garages come from labor, so if you have a mechanic friend who will do the job for the price of the parts only, you'll save LOTS of money.

    how to do laundry properly

    apparently I suck at doing laundry too... to the point that the man will not allow me to do laundry here because I tend to either shrink it or turn the entire load into an interesting experiment in tie dye. This is apparently bad

    I'm vaguely aware that different things like different temperatures and should be washed with certain other things to prevent bad things from happening... how does one learn these mystery laws of laundry? does dry clean only actually mean that I have to take it to a dry cleaner? can you UN-tie dye clothing?
    Well, there are usually instructions on each item of clothing. That and your washer usually has a general guideline printed under the hood. Basic tips: whites and colors separated. Work colored clothes separated from everyday colored clothes (work clothes usually need to be washed more gently). Whites can be washed warm or hot (the dirtier, the hotter), and colors should be washed cold, but I usually wash mine on warm. Washing on warm with colors can make fabrics that are not very color-fast (meaning the colors run) fade more rapidly, but I'm happy to trade that in for cleaner fabrics.

    Dry clean usually DOES mean you should dry clean it, however, there are some dry clean only things that I have successfully washed. One of those was a comforter that I was waaaaay too lazy to take to the cleaners. The only bad thing that happened to it, was it was very, very wrinkled when I removed it from the dryer. If it's something like a coat or a blazer, don't even play around with washing it. Just take it to the cleaners several times a year. It'll cost you probably $5-10 for each item. Also, polyester is very sensitive to heat. If you wash anything polyester, either dry it on the lowest heat setting possible, or hang it up to dry. If your dryer tends to run hot, you're better off air-drying it.

    Un-tie dying.... Hmm. Well, if it's a white item, you could always bleach it back to white. Otherwise, no. If it helps, red is usually very prone to bleeding while being washed. Along with very intense blues and purples.

    does this get any easier? how do people manage to do things like sit properly in a skirt or actually wear panty hose without even having to think about it? does this come more naturally to some people than to others?

    there's just a couple of things that I'm hoping that people have solutions to there... if anyone else wants to throw stuff on the list I might know the answers to a few of them even!
    You get used to it. I used to feel that way, too. Until I found some nice dress clothing that felt like me. The other thing I do is pretend I'm a secret agent or something. That way, eventhough I feel like a complete dork in a suit, I can at least have fun in my head and put on a "composed" face. Also, I don't wear skirts precisely for the reason that I HATE sitting with my legs crushed together all the time (or crossed). It tends to put too much strain on my back.
    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Robert Frost

  3. #23
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post

    how to realize when the bastard at the auto garage is overcharging you
    Check the cost of a repair online. App for the phone too.

    http://repairpal.com/

    how to do laundry properly
    Check the laundry tag. Dry clean usually means dryclean and big stuff needs a laundromat commercial washer/dryer. You can untie dye clothing - dye it another color. Bottom fitted sheets have a seam and elastic, start with that corner.

    how to feel like a grown up instead of a kid playing grownup while dressing up
    Time.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  4. #24
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    How to have built in routines to keep on top of the minutia of life that you don't want to waste brain power over . . . that you inevitably waste brain power AND resources over if you don't have a routine. Examples: bill paying, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc.
    Yes. Absolutely.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    I didn't get several relationship-related memos that most other grownups seem to have received long ago.
    Yes.

    - Grown-ups seem to be able to know what their goal in life is and some have their whole life planned.
    I don't have a concrete goal (being an eternal student apparently isn't) and don't even have the next 5 days planned.

    - Grown-ups seem to take things seriously.
    I find humour in almost any situation, granted sometimes it's after a few hours but I can't make myself be completely serious.

    - Apparently, grown-ups at some point figure out that the whole idealistic thing doesn't work and they embrace non-idealistic ways of thinking.
    I feel I set myself up for disappointment and disillusionment most times.

    - Grown-ups seem to know what to say in most situations (without cringing even if it's corny).
    I almost never know what I'm supposed to say so I say the first outlandish thing that comes to mind.

    Edit:

    Those things are not necessarily bad though.

  6. #26
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    how to do laundry properly

    apparently I suck at doing laundry too... to the point that the man will not allow me to do laundry here because I tend to either shrink it or turn the entire load into an interesting experiment in tie dye. This is apparently bad

    I'm vaguely aware that different things like different temperatures and should be washed with certain other things to prevent bad things from happening... how does one learn these mystery laws of laundry? does dry clean only actually mean that I have to take it to a dry cleaner? can you UN-tie dye clothing?
    Get Shout Color Catcher Sheets. You pop 1-3 sheets in your wash depending on how big it is, and how much of a color problem you might have.

  7. #27
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    dear god... reading labels on all of my clothes sounds like WAY too much effort I think I will leave laundry duty to the man if I have to deal with that much detail...

    and there's an app for car charges? awesomeness! I must download it!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  8. #28
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    I wouldn't feel so bad about it. Many of us (I think) struggle with this. It all really goes back to what a "grown up" even means. I've come to see it as someone who has learned to function well within the system. This includes the ability to take care of your basic needs and then some. If you don't care about sheets, fuck it. You can live the rest of your life without sheets and be just fine. Some of the things I would attribute to being a "grown up" are

    1) Understanding basic consequences of the system. Like paying taxes, caring about credit, working hard to cover your expenses, caring about health and health coverage, making sure you have a spare tire and gas, avoiding criminal activity and paying your parking tickets within 14 days.

    2) Developing emotional maturity. Like knowing how to reasonably deal with people you despise or disagree with. Not flipping someone off on the freeway, not getting into a shouting match with some tithead at Wallyworld, not freaking out and quitting your suck ass job without a notice and another lined up, trying to take a fair approach with people, even when it seems they don't deserve it. Following through when you say your going to do something.

    3) Coming to understand your own limits. Eating right, getting enough nutrients, sun, water, exercize, and sleep. Developing some kind of routine in life to enforce these habbits for better functioning and health.

    4) Fading out of the party phaze. This involves getting to a point that you don't want to go out and drink all weekend because you know its gonna fuck you up Monday and you will be a zombie at work. And that pattern will soon be recognized by your employer and co-workers, affecting your next raise and bonus, affecting your ability to do even cooler things than partying at a club on the weekend. Moving past substance experiences for the most part, the need to dress up like a raunchy hooch, go to the club, and grind on some weird dude every weekend. (I know 40 yr olds that still do this)

    5) Seeing yourself as the solution to most of your problems. If your still at a point that you call mum and pappy up when you get into a bind, your not really operating as an adult (imo). It's okay to rely on others in general, equal give and take, and its okay to ask for help in the exceptional situation, but these are few and far between for the balanced person. If you splurge on a vacation and that means you eat mac n' cheese for 2 weeks, so be it.

    Anyhow, these are just my own personal opinions.. but I can honestly say that I didn't even remotely take on the real qualities of "grown up" until 28-ish, even though I've lived on my own since 17. In just the last few years I've started to really put alot of effort into understanding priorities, maintaining my home, my finances, my employment, and my well being. I've known some people to be very routine and organized at a young age, but still lack qualities in emotional maturity. I've seen emotionally mature people struggle to maintain their jobs and health. It really is alot, major balancing at play, and one that I think takes quite a bit of time to perfect, if ever.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  9. #29
    Senior Member Rambling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    dear god... reading labels on all of my clothes sounds like WAY too much effort I think I will leave laundry duty to the man if I have to deal with that much detail...

    and there's an app for car charges? awesomeness! I must download it!
    Thread necro, but I have to ask.. @whatever, have you grown up any, four / five years on from this thread?

  10. #30
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Nope!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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