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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    I rarely believe what people say at face value.
    I've noticed that I often question things like "what's in it for them?" Not necessarily in a nasty way, but just like that "what's in it for them." Then I analyze and accept, usually. Often it doesn't even piss me off, because I realize everyone wants something.

    And I even use it to my advantage sometimes. Tactics, my friend, tactics.

    I think it's always kept me from being too naive in my interactions, because I've taken some big risks in my life with people, and think this low-grade suspicion that isn't necessarily hateful or paranoid has really been helpful to me in many situations.

  2. #12
    failure to thrive AphroditeGoneAwry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    K...what I've noticed is that when I WANT something, it clouds my "intuition." Strongly wanting (or hating) something can cloud any real, valid judgement of that person or thing. They even tell you this in New Age books about psychics and so forth, but it really is true. You feel strongly a certain way about someone or something, in terms of WANTING or REJECTION, and your intuition can be waaaaaay off. Embarrassingly so. You just wanted it or feared it.

    However, if you have no attachment (this is starting to sound like Buddhism, but stay with me) your intuition will be much clearer. People and things I have no strong opinion about or attachment to either way, that's when my best intuition works. Well, sometimes it does work with very close loved ones, but as long as DESIRE has been dropped from the equation...and I even mean lovers, if you don't feel like you WANT anything from them, it's easier to see through them. My ESFJ ex used to marvel that he could never lie to me because I always saw through him. HOWEVER, this was once we had been together for at least two years, and I honestly think it had less to do with intuition and more to do with observation. I've decided lately that it's observation that is my strength, not intuition. It's just that I confused "observation" with being able to memorize license plate numbers, which I suck at, but my ESFJ ex is good at. Yet I am very observant of a multitude of things about people, because I focus on people, not on numbers or cars.

    So yeah...benevolent neutral detachment is the only way that intuition works very well, in my experience.

    And if you feel that someone is lying, act accordingly. You don't have to accuse or confront them, you can act pleasantly, but know inside and act accordingly. I think that's the smart middle ground.
    It would be observation for you, because of your S. My ISFP friends also tend to doubt their intuitions.

    It's the opposite for me, regarding the better I know someone the stronger it seems to be, even when the 'prognosis,' or news, is bad for me.

    edit: the more connected we are, which is different than straight-up knowing someone over time.
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  3. #13
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I've noticed that I often question things like "what's in it for them?" Not necessarily in a nasty way, but just like that "what's in it for them." Then I analyze and accept, usually. Often it doesn't even piss me off, because I realize everyone wants something.

    And I even use it to my advantage sometimes. Tactics, my friend, tactics.

    I think it's always kept me from being too naive in my interactions, because I've taken some big risks in my life with people, and think this low-grade suspicion that isn't necessarily hateful or paranoid has really been helpful to me in many situations.
    Yeah, there's a difference between assuming (in the fashion of a rule) that everyone is ultimately out to get you (or use you, or some other dark motivation) and simply using your powers of observation and situational judgment to figure out why, for instance, person X said this or that. The former will interfere severely with your ability to interact constructively with other humans, while the latter, in conjunction with the ability to put two-and-two together relatively quickly, is good for self-preservation and even helping people.

    I will say, though, that in my own case, I think sometimes people can detect that I'm not credulous and take it for standoffishness. It also interferes with my ability to start conversations with strangers, as I'm usually unwilling to get past the problem of "why did they choose to talk to me out of all of these people here right now?" And it's hard to avoid imaging all of the possible perverse answers to that question, rational or not.
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  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    Yeah, there's a difference between assuming (in the fashion of a rule) that everyone is ultimately out to get you (or use you, or some other dark motivation) and simply using your powers of observation and situational judgment to figure out why, for instance, person X said this or that. The former will interfere severely with your ability to interact constructively with other humans, while the latter, in conjunction with the ability to put two-and-two together relatively quickly, is good for self-preservation and even helping people.

    I will say, though, that in my own case, I think sometimes people can detect that I'm not credulous and take it for standoffishness. It also interferes with my ability to start conversations with strangers, as I'm usually unwilling to get past the problem of "why did they choose to talk to me out of all of these people here right now?" And it's hard to avoid imaging all of the possible perverse answers to that question, rational or not.
    Yes, I think this way too. I'm actually pretty open, I'm not really paranoid at all (except when I'm in love with someone sometimes, but I put that in a separate box) ...I just think "why?"

    Like I remember even being like 21 years old and guys talking to me and thinking "yeah yeah yeah, right." Not in a nasty way, I even became friends with some of those guys, but that's what I initially think. I don't take them at face value.

    It's not even guys, always. Like I know a woman know who is terrified that if I don't serve as a material witness for her in a court case, she could be fucked. Do I think she's a bad person? No. I consider her my friend. I like her. I wish her well. I don't even think she only wants to be close to me for that reason because I've known her for so long. But I know it's a factor. I'm constantly aware that her tolerance of me is partly connected to that concern she has for her court case.

    In fact, I don't even want to outline the way I think, because sometimes I think it will make me seem like this very manipulative, mercenary person...and I'm really not. Like this woman I speak of, I almost cried on her birthday because she's like 48 and was talking about being a teenager listening to Elton John albums with her friends in the late 70's. I sincerely like her. But I'm always aware. Always. That she needs something from me.

  5. #15
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I am curious as to how others balance the baskets of what you think is going on, and what other people tell you is going on.

    For one example, let's say that you suspect a friend of yours is lying to you about something. You bring it up with them and they tell you you're crazy, that nothing is going on. You decide to take them at their word and let the matter drop... only to later discover that your friend was, in fact, lying to you.

    But this can be taken too far where you are plucking at straws and creating drama by standing behind your intuition when there isn't something there.

    So where does one draw the line? I made up the example, so I am not looking for advice on anything specific... Just curioisity in general!

    That is all!
    Yeah, I trust my intuition but am too passive to say anything about it. I usually just revert into myself and feel bad in these cases. I may say something like, "I was uncomfortable with the conversation, it wasn't right" and leave it at that, but, normally I just distance myself from the person.
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  6. #16
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    Interesting thread. I tend to value my own intuition and opinions more than others'. It's good to analyze other input for the sake of refining your own conclusions, but too often outside opinions are skewed by inconstant and unreliable factors, such as popularity, which can lead to a herd mentality that makes decisions based upon emotional sensations rather than logic.

    As far as taking advice from a particular individual, I would definitely consider it in light of how I view their character to determine if there is any personal motivation influencing it.

  7. #17
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    I put all of the info I've noted in the "big picture" as context is a big clarifier. This includes trends in their behavior in general, trends in human behavior, other connected info (even if the connection is remote) that I may have about the situation, etc. Rarely do I actually weigh this out; it's more like my brain sifts it all quickly and the most likely possibilities emerge. I often won't press the issue with someone if I think they are lying, but I mentally keep aware so that I am rarely surprised when it turns out I was right. In short, I don't make a condemning conclusion, but I don't rule out that my intuition is wrong. I keep on my guard until proven wrong.
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  8. #18
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    Verify all sources. If I have an intuitive feeling I immediately look at available data to conclude how logical the thought is... The process isn't separated either. I just usually investigate what is interesting and what is interesting is derived from the subconscious. I am guided, but I'm a good Dante to the metaphorical Virgil.

  9. #19
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    One thing I would say on this (very interesting) subject is that I would never believe my intuition is 100% accurate, certainly not in all details. HOWEVER, if my intuition tells me that I'm better off without a person in my life, I should always listen to that.

    I never come to those conclusions super-quickly anyway. It is certainly possible that I may have reached conclusions about that person which are a bit paranoid, a bit too far, etc. But the overall conclusion, that they shouldn't be in my life any more - that has, I think, always or almost always proved right, and when I've ignored that nagging little voice, I've regretted it.
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  10. #20
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Trusting intuition works for me.

    Although the conditioned mind is reprogrammed to cram in as much ego into itself without diverting any funds towards the heart of the matter. And the heart of the matter is profound intuition. Once this slight obstacle that a disproportionate amount of the population has then intuition becomes a truth soothsayer, the many layers come off then like muddy mudskippers, less talk, mark walk. erh more walk less talk, wait.

    Well anyway an inner knower of living, breathing, walking the way of spirit, and the way of spirit is love. for then consciousness becomes the pervading energy center by which the connection of presence becomes into focus the reality of realities, a higher heart integration with all that is, all that was and all that will be is who we are as our central core of self.

    Oh fiery brimstone of cataclysms lest thy heart travails these waters amongst purveyors of pedagogy. Then such questions are petty. It can only be good.

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