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View Poll Results: Do you expect your SO to complete a "honey do" list on his/her day off?

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17. You may not vote on this poll
  • SJ - Yes, I have a honey do list.

    0 0%
  • NF - Yes, I have a honey do list.

    0 0%
  • NT - Yes, I have a honey do list.

    0 0%
  • SP - Yes, I have a honey do list.

    0 0%
  • SJ - No, I don't

    2 11.76%
  • NF - No, I don't

    7 41.18%
  • NT - No, I don't

    6 35.29%
  • SP - No, I don't

    2 11.76%
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Results 21 to 30 of 54

  1. #21
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Disagree. Each situation is unique dependent upon the people involved.



    Disagree. My husband likes having the list and it's not for lack of being decisive in other areas of his life. In fact, I think it's quite the opposite. He manages a huge department and I think after a week of making decisions he is happy to just sit back and let someone else "drive the car" for a bit. So, if he likes his bacon & eggs, plus a little "To Do" list on Sat morning, I am not going to deprive him of it.

    Neither of you has any practical experience here - how about you share some real-life examples instead of projection?
    I'm not projecting, I'm also not talking about your experience so think about it. Having different practical experience is not the same as having no practical experience.

    Anyway, its obviously a different story if you're usually highly decisive and want to take a break, there's nothing wrong with to do lists either and being task centred, I do that myself and it means I can get a lot of things done in a short space of time.

  2. #22
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    If some men like that, how is it your business? Just because it's hell to you doesn't mean it's hell to them.
    Because when someone gets used to being indecisive it is everyones business who has no choice about taking anything to do with them. Think about it.

    My point is about people generalising the expectations they have in one, possibly their most significant, relationship to everyone else. Its not about voluntary servility or submissiveness or anything like that, I do have problems with that too, in principle, but that's a different topic.

  3. #23
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I'm not projecting, I'm also not talking about your experience so think about it. Having different practical experience is not the same as having no practical experience.
    You said it was "bleeding awful because it spreads to other parts of their life" - you made an overall subjective judgement instead of an objective statement.

    Anyway, its obviously a different story if you're usually highly decisive and want to take a break, there's nothing wrong with to do lists either and being task centred, I do that myself and it means I can get a lot of things done in a short space of time.
    Well, then what's your issue?
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  4. #24
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    You said it was "bleeding awful because it spreads to other parts of their life" - you made an overall subjective judgement instead of an objective statement.
    I'm right.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeaceBaby View Post
    Disagree. Each situation is unique dependent upon the people involved.
    I didn't think I had to preface my posts with "in my opinion" or "to me". Of course each situation is dependent on the people involved. I thought I made it clear that my post was speaking directly of me. I understand that you and your husband don't share my opinion.

    Neither of you has any practical experience here - how about you share some real-life examples instead of projection?
    How about you write a disclaimer in your posts to the effect of "I get bitchy if people have opinions contrary to my own"? I don't have to justify myself to you.

  6. #26
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    I'm right.
    whatever. I'm sure my hubs would disagree with you - and he'd do it decisively, ESTJ style.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  7. #27
    reborn PeaceBaby's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 93JC View Post
    I didn't think I had to preface my posts with "in my opinion" or "to me". Of course each situation is dependent on the people involved. I thought I made it clear that my post was speaking directly of me. I understand that you and your husband don't share my opinion.

    How about you write a disclaimer in your posts to the effect of "I get bitchy if people have opinions contrary to my own"? I don't have to justify myself to you.
    whatever. You said, "To-do lists are nothing more than passive-aggressive nagging." Sounded definitive to me. Sorry, next time I'll mentally add the TO YOU part.
    "Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one."
    Eleanor Roosevelt


    "When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad."
    Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

  8. #28
    Senior Member Mae's Avatar
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    My ESTJ stepdad also enjoys doing things around the house. About the only thing he doesn't do is clean, but he'll do repairs, maintenance, work on the cars, yard work, go grocery shopping, maybe cook a simple dinner. If he didn't have a to-do list, he'd create work for himself. That's just how some people are.

    As for me, I might suggest things to my s.o. that he could do if I wasn't able to, but that's it. I want him to enjoy his free time, just like I want to enjoy my free time. If things need to get done, I'd like to do them together, that way we're being productive and still getting us time.
    I got my smile from the sunshine,
    I got my tears from the rain.
    I learned to dance when I saw a tiger prance,
    And a peacock taught me to be vain.
    A little owl in a tree so high,
    He taught me how to wink my eye.
    I learned to bill and coo from a turtledove,
    And a grizzly bear taught me how to hug.
    But the guy that lived two caves from me,
    He taught me how to love.

  9. #29
    Senior Member jimrckhnd's Avatar
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    I would look at "Honey Do" list much like I would look at a letter to Santa. It's a wish list, nothing more. It might provide some useful guidance but on the other hand I would feel free to ignore that guidance. If there is something crucial that must be addressed I will do so - with or without a list. But if somebody wants to start planning my free time w/o my consent then one of two things will happen - 1) I'll ignore the plan and continue doing what it is I feel like doing or 2) they will insist on the plan and there will be blood, guts and feathers spread all over the place before its over.
    Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Because when someone gets used to being indecisive it is everyones business who has no choice about taking anything to do with them. Think about it.

    My point is about people generalising the expectations they have in one, possibly their most significant, relationship to everyone else. Its not about voluntary servility or submissiveness or anything like that, I do have problems with that too, in principle, but that's a different topic.
    People are different and like different things, and it's okay if they want that, IMO.

    Or even like in the case of my ESFJ friend and her husband who I suspect is IxTP (I read the test out loud to him and he came out borderline S/N, and I want to lean toward ISTP but his removal from reality makes me want to go INTP ) is that IF SHE DID NOT TELL HIM TO DO *SOMETHING* ON HIS DAYS OFF THEY WOULD LIVE IN A PILE OF GARBAGE.

    Seriously, he's like a kid. He would sit there and put trash and dirty dishes around himself, not take out the trash, not clean the litter box for the cats (though he loves the cats!)...I mean it's just stupid. I would kill him, though he's a very nice person. I think the ESFJ *enjoys* her sense of authority, but I would get sick of being someone's mommy.

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