I don't know anyone who fits that criteria, but then again, this is the Bible Belt. I know far more people who believe in God and get shitfaced all the time.
I got my smile from the sunshine,
I got my tears from the rain.
I learned to dance when I saw a tiger prance,
And a peacock taught me to be vain.
A little owl in a tree so high,
He taught me how to wink my eye.
I learned to bill and coo from a turtledove,
And a grizzly bear taught me how to hug.
But the guy that lived two caves from me,
He taught me how to love.