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  1. #1
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    Default Any experiences of introverts becoming extroverts?

    Right now i feel my only weak point is being introvert. It may sound arrogant when i say "only", of course nobody is perfect but i mean the factor of myself that im not satisfied with.

    Im not the kind of person that goes everywhere with a smile, i just have a neutral face, i dont smile easily but i dont look you like "IM GONNA KILL YOU". I think some people will believe that i hate people but i actually love them, i dont trust them easily but i dream of a world where everybody is happy, seriously. So i guess the tip here would be "smile more " but i dont feel like fake smiling around. However, i still remember how to smile! hehe

    Then, meeting new people... i cannot put effort into making friends with people i know im not going to see in the future but at the same time, again, i dont want to act like i pretend that im interested in somebody if im actually not.

    Group chats, again im bad specially when theres more unknown people than friends.

    I really need advice and tips on how to be more... approachable and better speaker, i know i have to change my mind but i need to listen/read the right words that convince me about it, because i cant find them myself, so i trust you BUNCH OF STRANGERS (wink wink) to make me think different.

    Or if any introverted succeeded in becoming more extrovert, i would love to know about their experiences!

    Ive read many stuff on the net and some videos but they all say the same "ask them about what they like! dont be shy!".. not convincing!

    Thanks for reading

  2. #2
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    This sounds like something that can be answered with an attitude self help book or two. Ive not encountered any introvert whos made the jump to extroversion successfully. Introverts by nature lose energy in social settings and gather it back by being alone. Its a bit of a balance act. Extroverts on the other hand gather energy by being enormous social butterflies while going stir crazy at the thought of being alone.

    In your situation it would most likely be all about using that head of yours to determine whether or not someone you meet is worth your time or not. Another decent tip would be to at least acknowledge they are there if they talk to you, because obviously they have *some* interest in knowing you no? Its true that not everyone you meet will form a lasting friendship, but wouldnt it be better to form a few contacts here and there while still looking for that deeper friendship?

    The biggest issue Im drawing here from all this is that youre looking for all in or not at all. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with forming a few outer circle friendships, as those can serve as outside contacts to something like a better job, a closer friend, another opportunity, etc. The possibilities far outweigh any negative connotations regarding such shallow bonds.

    Being approachable is more related to attitude than it is related to your introversion. Its been scientifically proven that human beings give of an electromagnetic field that more or less represents how we "feel" to others. Look up any article related to "aura" or "vibes" and essentially this is what you get. The key here is empower positive feelings in yourself. People can notice and tell when someone is happy and easy to talk to, or when theyre sad and not easy to approach at all. Carry yourself as if you dont mind people coming up to you and asking you things, or as if you dont mind being talked to. I almost guarantee that it will make a difference with time. Id also suggest spending time convincing yourself to use a bit of the day to just try and talk to someone you want to get to know. The old saying "you dont know until you try" still wholeheartedly applies to social settings.

    Lastly, dont let someone elses opinion of a person ruin your image of them. Be smarter than that and know that person based on your own conclusions. Nine times out of ten youll find you dont share that other persons opinion of them.

  3. #3
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i don't know if i believe types change but i wonder if it's possible that i was more infpish as a child or if i was just shy. i was very shy...everyone was always very sweet to me..people seemed to like me easily but i remember feeling weird and awkward and just gradually deciding to just be myself and not worry if others thought i was weird..if i blurted out some random odd thing people usually just thought i was funny so i decided people were actually pretty accepting and i had nothing to worry about.

    i don't know if that relates to your question much...but it's all i got.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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    Quote Originally Posted by Synth View Post
    Ive not encountered any introvert whos made the jump to extroversion successfully. Introverts by nature lose energy in social settings and gather it back by being alone. Its a bit of a balance act. Extroverts on the other hand gather energy by being enormous social butterflies while going stir crazy at the thought of being alone.
    Right, i cant be extroverted, i guess the topic title is wrong hehe i mean less introvert at least. I dont see myself like chattering nonstop and thank god im not like that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synth View Post
    In your situation it would most likely be all about using that head of yours to determine whether or not someone you meet is worth your time or not..
    Yeah well, thats exactly what i always do.

    Quote Originally Posted by Synth View Post
    Another decent tip would be to at least acknowledge they are there if they talk to you, because obviously they have *some* interest in knowing you no?
    Oh wait, i think theres two types of persons here: the ones who have the need to talk and the ones who have the need to know me, i dont like the first because it doesnt mean they are ACTUALLY interested in me, thats just their extrovert part and i can usually detect them quickly. I mean, i dont believe that for the fact of being extrovert you actually LOVE everybody you meet, i know a few really fake extroverts.


    Quote Originally Posted by Synth View Post
    Being approachable is more related to attitude than it is related to your introversion. Its been scientifically proven that human beings give of an electromagnetic field that more or less represents how we "feel" to others. Look up any article related to "aura" or "vibes" and essentially this is what you get. The key here is empower positive feelings in yourself. People can notice and tell when someone is happy and easy to talk to, or when theyre sad and not easy to approach at all. Carry yourself as if you dont mind people coming up to you and asking you things, or as if you dont mind being talked to. I almost guarantee that it will make a difference with time.
    Hehe ive heard about the aura thing. I talk to people in a nice tone, i dont mind people coming up to me lets say a tourist looking for some directions or somebody coming to talk to me. Like i said, i think i can consider myself a nice person but unfortunately most people wont know until they get to know me.
    But throw me in a group with strangers and ill be quiet as a statue.


    Quote Originally Posted by Synth View Post
    Lastly, dont let someone elses opinion of a person ruin your image of them. Be smarter than that and know that person based on your own conclusions. Nine times out of ten youll find you dont share that other persons opinion of them.
    Will consider that

  5. #5
    Patron Saint Of Smileys Gloriana's Avatar
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    Well, I don't personally think being introverted is a bad thing, at least, it hasn't been for me.

    Thing is, I'm not a shy person at all, and there is that difference. You can be introverted and outgoing, you can be introverted and shy. You can be extroverted and outgoing, you can be extroverted and shy. It's that whole thing about where you get energized.

    I need alone time, I require it to recharge and reflect. While I personally love hanging out with people and going on outings, I don't feel the need for it more than a few times a month. A friend of mine finds it hard to talk to people and doesn't make conversation very readily at all, but he feels a deep need to be around people as often as possible. He feels energized by being in the company of others even though he can't talk to people, I feel energized by being alone even though I can. I don't think introversion is bad at all in that respect.

    Shyness and social anxiety is friggin' hard going though. While I'm still kind of awkward and goofy in social situations, I'm no longer shy or quiet the way I was when I was younger, and I no longer have panic attacks. Sometimes I go to parties, don't feel comfortable with the scene or the people there, and I bolt rather quickly, but I don't feel ashamed about it anymore. It's not about fear anymore, it's about choosing who I want to spend my time with. Just like everybody doesn't have to like you, you don't have to like everyone else, either. Don't push yourself to like someone or be accepted by them before you've even given yourself a chance to decide whether you really want to or not. Smile when you WANT to smile, I know plenty of pleasant and loving folks who rarely smile at all. It's not about smiles so much as it is about how you feel about yourself.

    This might sound basic and dumb, but my problem was with myself. I was way too preoccupied with what other people thought, and one tiny hint of rejection could send my ego right into the toilet and have me questioning my worth as a human being, THAT'S how bad it was. I had to take time out and learn to like myself, and learn that I had things to offer people beyond what I could do for THEM or how I could please them. Again, not ashamed of that, that's just how it was. I stopped allowing other people to control me and control the way I viewed myself. I stopped allowing them to dictate to me that way. I stopped viewing them as potential enemies and aggressors (I was bullied, so it took awhile to work through my anger and stop thinking of everyone as potential victimizers, criticizers, and jerk-offs). The only way I overcame shyness was to learn to love myself. Not in a cheesy 'up with people' way, and not in a 'OMG! I'm SO FABULOUS AND AWESOME!!" way either. Just contentment, learning to feel comfortable in my own skin, learning to appreciate the good about me and change whatever I felt was a true hindrance. If you let other people decide what you have to offer them, it will just hurt forever. If you wait for the world to cradle you and reassure you all the time, it will just hurt forever and feel like disappointment. I have no idea how much of this applies to you and I don't want to project, I also don't want to sound harsh but it's nothing I didn't also tell myself.

    It's not about being a dick toward yourself or shaming yourself even further, it's about standing up for yourself and asserting yourself. On the whole, people mainly like people who like themselves, all the rest of it (weight, hair, height, size, profession, race, sex, etc.) is actually more inconsequential than you'd think. There will always be dickheads who want to dissect someone and judge them (and bear in mind, a lot of those douchebags are on the internet more than they are in the real world), but honestly, the majority of people just want to be around folks who are simply positive and hold their heads up, people who can handle their shit and walk tall.

    When people realize you're going to be dependent on them to boost your ego, they will most often walk the other way because it's like handing someone a whole plate full of responsibility which isn't theirs. If someone latches on to that, they're probably going to be toxic, either looking for someone to control or looking to fulfill their own ego needs by becoming a guru figure who will always want you to remain weak and dependent on them for praise. I learned that the hard way. The more you like yourself and cease to let that self opinion be influenced by others, the more confident you'll feel talking to others because you'll be in control, you'll be in the driver's seat. You'll probably attract more positive and supportive people too.

    Again, if none of this proves relevant to you, don't sweat it. It's just my two cents, not gospel. Keep whatever might be useful and forget the rest. I hope some of it may have been helpful though.
    "Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get, but if you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen. I'm telling you...amazing things will happen" --Conan O'Brien

  6. #6
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I didn't read the whole thread so this might be mentioned. I go through periods of extraversion but i always go back to introversion. And my energy is still drained from being social, just theres period it happens slower. I guess how full my reserves are.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #7
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Do you want to become more extroverted for work or play?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Do you want to become more extroverted for work or play?
    A bit of both, even if i can survive being like this i think it might bring me a little boost in all areas

  9. #9
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by istj86 View Post
    A bit of both, even if i can survive being like this i think it might bring me a little boost in all areas
    I think there are books on this that I can't remember the name of atm.

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