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Thread: How do you prefer to console?

  1. #31
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Aug 2011


    If I really want to console someone, I usually just get them to imagine back to a time when they were feeling a whole lot better. Not just think back quickly, but actually try to put themselves back in the shoes of how they felt when they were on top of the world. Then, once that's done, what I do is just get them to watch everyone else having a good time, and try to hold on to the feeling I'd just inspired in them; usually, after seeing everyone else having a good time, they tend to get happier.

  2. #32
    XES Array 5231311252's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010


    I am very uncomfortable being around those who are going through some emotional distress. It makes me feel obligated to physically console them and I really don't like that. So if I don't care much for them, I'll ignore them and if I do care I'll attempt to come up with a solution to their problem. I myself like to be left alone and I often find solace in silence and solitude.
    “'Fuck', I think. What a beautiful word. If I could say only one thing for the rest of my life, that would be it.”

  3. #33
    Senior Member Array copperfish17's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    5w4 sp/so


    Female INTP speaking.

    My immediate instinct is to offer solutions, but first I decide whether the person in distress would prefer advice or emotional support. If the person in distress seems to want advice, then I offer several perspectives on the issue, ultimately leaving the final decision to the troubled. If the person in distress seems to want emotional support, I just let them talk, gently urging them on with occasional "Yeah?"s and "And then?"s. I may offer similar anecdotes about myself or hug the distressed, depending on our relationship.

    As for being consoled... I prefer to keep my problems to myself, 'cause I like to think that I'm perfectly capable of handling my own problems. Of course, this isn't always true. There are very rare occasions - once in 1~2 years or so - where I'm on the verge of losing my sanity (to anger, stress, sadness etc.) and become uncapable of thinking properly/logically. In that case, I seek advice from good friends of mine. I'd prefer that my friends offer advice, not hugs or platitudes (though I will accept the former depending on the friend).
    Enneagram: 5w4 5-9-2 (5w4 9w1 2w1) sp/so

    "Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." - Greg King
    The worst mistake people make in political arguments is assuming that the other side is not trying to do the right thing. This simple oversight makes productive conversation nearly impossible.

  4. #34


    I usually just tell them to confront the issue. Fight it because the only way to move forward is to move past. Not everyone likes it and it isn't easy to follow. I do listen though so I can help give perspective if I can. If I can't help I usually say so. I don't want to lie to them.

    I wish to be heard... By one or two who I deem trust-worthy otherwise I ruminate and solve.

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