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  1. #71

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    ^
    I love this! I was a lifeguard during college too, and I wish I'd thought of that. I used to keep cards with the numbers 1 through 10 under my chair and when I was assigned the diving pool I would rate the kids' dives.

    Here's a funny lifeguarding story (funny only because it turned out okay.) A small girl, maybe 5 years old, was on the diving board. Her parents were watching, so we all assumed the kid knew how to swim. She jumped in and immediately started to struggle. Mom jumped in right after her, which turned out to be a terrible idea because Mom immediately started panicking too. Then Dad jumped in after both of them and promptly started drowning as well. There were the three of them and four lifeguards in the water before it all got sorted out. The lesson? Please don't let your children dive when they can't swim. And please don't try to save them when YOU can't swim. Thanks.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  2. #72
    Enigma Nadir's Avatar
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    I still think Palpatine's Force Lightning is stronger than that of other Sith Lords because he uses both hands while using the skill.
    Not really.

  3. #73
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BryNTP View Post
    Speaking of breathing....I worked as a lifeguard during school. I would get bored sometimes and tell the really obnoxious (but gullible) kids: "We just painted the bottom of the pool last night and it smells like strawberries".
    That's eeeeeevviiiilllllll. LOLZ.

    Wait...did some poor child try to check it out?

    Speaking of swimming my cousins are competitive ranking swimmers (ranked in state as well as the greater west coast). When my cuz was 7 (?) her aunt and I were observing one of her early lessons and she told me, "Watch this, it's really funny". My cousin is strongfor a kid and physically fearless (her mom was a gymnast and her dad was a martial arts enthusiast so she inherited the genes).

    So when the teacher told her to "jump in, I'll catch you" my cousing jumped right in and practically knocked into the teacher like a wrecking ball and he floundered for a bit to recover. Hahahaha. All through the lesson she was kicking and flailing like he told her to but she did it withs such gusto and kicked up such a storm the teacher was trying not to get to get hit. I know that's not funny but it is
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  4. #74
    Fe, rusted. Poser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    ^
    I love this! I was a lifeguard during college too, and I wish I'd thought of that. I used to keep cards with the numbers 1 through 10 under my chair and when I was assigned the diving pool I would rate the kids' dives.

    Here's a funny lifeguarding story (funny only because it turned out okay.) A small girl, maybe 5 years old, was on the diving board. Her parents were watching, so we all assumed the kid knew how to swim. She jumped in and immediately started to struggle. Mom jumped in right after her, which turned out to be a terrible idea because Mom immediately started panicking too. Then Dad jumped in after both of them and promptly started drowning as well. There were the three of them and four lifeguards in the water before it all got sorted out. The lesson? Please don't let your children dive when they can't swim. And please don't try to save them when YOU can't swim. Thanks.

    For all concerned parties, this was done in 3 feet of water (but still funny when they came up sputtering with water pouring out of their nose).

    This isn't funny but here is another one of my lifeguard stories: There was this teenage boy (like 15) who we all KNEW could swim. We had seem him at the pool every day, knew his name and had seen him jump off the diving board a hundred times (gracefully and confidently). He was attempting to do a flip and was being very hesitant and his friends were egging him on. I was kind of interested because he was really good at diving so I wanted to see if he was going to do a double and a half. He did a perfect double and a half....and didn't come up. One of his friends looked at me and asked "Aren't you going to go in after him?" I kind of laughed but then I noticed he was struggling. I jumped in and pulled him out. Turns out he didn't know how to swim. He had always counted on making it to the other side of the dive tank. He was very confident whenever he was up on the diving board so it was never questioned. I asked him what he was thinking; first for being in the dive tank at all and second trying a dive where he knew he wasn't going to be able to make it to the side. He had counted on me saving him! Unfreaking believable!


  5. #75
    perdu fleur par bologne Martoon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    QFT in case whatever happens along.
    LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by BryNTP View Post
    Speaking of breathing....I worked as a lifeguard during school. I would get bored sometimes and tell the really obnoxious (but gullible) kids: "We just painted the bottom of the pool last night and it smells like strawberries".
    You're a sick, sick man. I think I love you.
    I'm not a procrastinator. I'm a long-term planner.

  6. #76
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BryNTP View Post
    For all concerned parties, this was done in 3 feet of water (but still funny when they came up sputtering with water pouring out of their nose).


    You are evil!

    :looks around: Where's Mort Belfry?
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  7. #77
    perdu fleur par bologne Martoon's Avatar
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    Okay, another anecdote, very weakly tied in with swimming (bathing is close, right?).

    I had a pet ferret when I was in college. I always referred to her as a weasel. ("Weasel" is just more fun to say than "ferret". Try it out. See?) Once a week, I would take her to the laundry room across the hall from my dorm room, and give her a bath in the sink there. She hated it. She would thrash around, and I always got more water on me than on her.

    One time, after bathing her, I put her back in my dorm room, then wandered out into the lobby. The front of my pants were soaked from the crotch on down the inseams of the legs, and it didn't occur to me how it must look.

    I entered the lobby, and a girl was standing there. She glanced at me, then looked down at my wet pants. She got this kind of incredulous horrified look, looked back up at me, then down at the pants again. I looked down, and it hit me what she was thinking. Wanting to clarify this immediately, I stammered, "Oh, no. No, no. It's not what you think! I was just washing my weasel."

    Somehow that didn't help. She actually slowly backed away from me. I'm not just saying that for comedic effect; she literally walked backwards, eyes wide and fixed on me, and hands held out in a defensive position. Then she turned and ran through the doors to the outside. I briefly considered running after her to attempt an explanation, but realized restraining orders can be a real hassle when you live on the same campus.
    I'm not a procrastinator. I'm a long-term planner.

  8. #78
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martoon View Post
    Okay, another anecdote, very weakly tied in with swimming (bathing is close, right?).

    I had a pet ferret when I was in college. I always referred to her as a weasel. ("Weasel" is just more fun to say than "ferret". Try it out. See?) Once a week, I would take her to the laundry room across the hall from my dorm room, and give her a bath in the sink there. She hated it. She would thrash around, and I always got more water on me than on her.

    One time, after bathing her, I put her back in my dorm room, then wandered out into the lobby. The front of my pants were soaked from the crotch on down the inseams of the legs, and it didn't occur to me how it must look.

    I entered the lobby, and a girl was standing there. She glanced at me, then looked down at my wet pants. She got this kind of incredulous horrified look, looked back up at me, then down at the pants again. I looked down, and it hit me what she was thinking. Wanting to clarify this immediately, I stammered, "Oh, no. No, no. It's not what you think! I was just washing my weasel."

    Somehow that didn't help. She actually slowly backed away from me. I'm not just saying that for comedic effect; she literally walked backwards, eyes wide and fixed on me, and hands held out in a defensive position. Then she turned and ran through the doors to the outside. I briefly considered running after her to attempt an explanation, but realized restraining orders can be a real hassle when you live on the same campus.
    Ahahahahaha!!! That is awesome.

  9. #79
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BryNTP View Post
    Okay, another anecdote, very weakly tied in with swimming (bathing is close, right?).

    I had a pet ferret when I was in college. I always referred to her as a weasel. ("Weasel" is just more fun to say than "ferret". Try it out. See?) Once a week, I would take her to the laundry room across the hall from my dorm room, and give her a bath in the sink there. She hated it. She would thrash around, and I always got more water on me than on her.

    One time, after bathing her, I put her back in my dorm room, then wandered out into the lobby. The front of my pants were soaked from the crotch on down the inseams of the legs, and it didn't occur to me how it must look.

    I entered the lobby, and a girl was standing there. She glanced at me, then looked down at my wet pants. She got this kind of incredulous horrified look, looked back up at me, then down at the pants again. I looked down, and it hit me what she was thinking. Wanting to clarify this immediately, I stammered, "Oh, no. No, no. It's not what you think! I was just washing my weasel."

    Somehow that didn't help. She actually slowly backed away from me. I'm not just saying that for comedic effect; she literally walked backwards, eyes wide and fixed on me, and hands held out in a defensive position. Then she turned and ran through the doors to the outside. I briefly considered running after her to attempt an explanation, but realized restraining orders can be a real hassle when you live on the same campus.
    HAHAHA! I can see you shouting after her, "It's clean now!"

    Awesome story.
    They're running just like you
    For you, and I, wooo
    So people, people, need some good ol' love

  10. #80
    Fe, rusted. Poser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martoon View Post
    Okay, another anecdote, very weakly tied in with swimming (bathing is close, right?).

    I had a pet ferret when I was in college. I always referred to her as a weasel. ("Weasel" is just more fun to say than "ferret". Try it out. See?) Once a week, I would take her to the laundry room across the hall from my dorm room, and give her a bath in the sink there. She hated it. She would thrash around, and I always got more water on me than on her.

    One time, after bathing her, I put her back in my dorm room, then wandered out into the lobby. The front of my pants were soaked from the crotch on down the inseams of the legs, and it didn't occur to me how it must look.

    I entered the lobby, and a girl was standing there. She glanced at me, then looked down at my wet pants. She got this kind of incredulous horrified look, looked back up at me, then down at the pants again. I looked down, and it hit me what she was thinking. Wanting to clarify this immediately, I stammered, "Oh, no. No, no. It's not what you think! I was just washing my weasel."

    Somehow that didn't help. She actually slowly backed away from me. I'm not just saying that for comedic effect; she literally walked backwards, eyes wide and fixed on me, and hands held out in a defensive position. Then she turned and ran through the doors to the outside. I briefly considered running after her to attempt an explanation, but realized restraining orders can be a real hassle when you live on the same campus.

    Mercy! Uncle! Just make it stop.


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