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  1. #31
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    ^No problem

    I am playing with my doggy's ears right now.

    They are super soft and they make me
    `
    'Cause you can't handle me...

    "A lie is a lie even if everyone believes it. The truth is the truth even if nobody believes it." - David Stevens

    "That that is, is. That that is not, is not. Is that it? It is."

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    Intelligentle sparkles

  2. #32
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    This is in response to this post

    Quote Originally Posted by Martoon
    That raises a really good point. I think Western culture, especially the U.S., has a lot of suppressed sexuality. People become fixated on it, obsessed with the taboo, and pretty soon everything has to do with sex (sorry, Freud). And I think that right there bears a lot of the responsibility for the problem that heart is talking about. And yeah, unfortunately, a lot of the conservative religious people really drive this. I know of this pastor who was on this rant about how women shouldn't wear shirts with zippers, because the zipper suggests that it can be opened easily and quickly, and is therefore provocative. In seeing a woman with a zippered shirt, it has never occurred to me to consider the velocity at which the fabric could be parted. I don't think it ever would occur to me unless I was always thinking of unzipping said zipper every time I saw a zippered shirt on a woman. It's pretty clear this guy is fixated on that, and suppressed. So he projects it onto society, and blames the zippers.
    on heart's thread on sexual vs. other types of love, and I didn't want to go off on a tangent there and derail it.

    This reminds me of a meeting my sister's friend attended at church where the speaker was saying that women should not wear tshirts with writing on them, because they drew attention to the wearer's breasts, etc. One awesomely quick guy in the audience spoke up and asked if the speakers also thought guys shouldn't wear ties, because they were essentially an arrow pointing down...

  3. #33
    perdu fleur par bologne Martoon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    This reminds me of a meeting my sister's friend attended at church where the speaker was saying that women should not wear tshirts with writing on them, because they drew attention to the wearer's breasts, etc.
    Yeah, I've heard that too, and it comes from the same repressed/obsessed camp as the zipper club.
    One awesomely quick guy in the audience spoke up and asked if the speakers also thought guys shouldn't wear ties, because they were essentially an arrow pointing down...
    Now that I hadn't heard. That's priceless. And I'll never be able to wear a tie again, without feeling self-conscious. (Not that I ever wear ties, anyway.)


    Hey, are we actually derailing this thread? Brilliant move. Pull in a post from a serious thread, and play off of that (cleverly using a joke as a segue). I wish I had thought of it.
    I'm not a procrastinator. I'm a long-term planner.

  4. #34

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    I would say that this thread was designed to be derail-proof, but that would only encourage people to try.

    Aw, hell.

    Okay, quoting any of the following comedians will be considered a derail:

    Dane Cook
    Jay Leno
    Martin Lawrence
    Gallagher

    That is all.
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  5. #35

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    There once was a fella who had a gorilla.
    But it was funky, cause he thought it a monkey.
    (and he spanked it).

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  6. #36
    Earth Exalted Thursday's Avatar
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    I imagined a slogan for the sexist males out there

    " there's only one way to treat a woman, and thats doggy-style "
    I N V I C T U S

  7. #37
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    One awesomely quick guy in the audience spoke up and asked if the speakers also thought guys shouldn't wear ties, because they were essentially an arrow pointing down...
    LOL!

    Ok, so I have a question along the same lines: why have women always been the ones to wear skirts? I remember my step-mom telling me that when she was in high school, there was a big political battle over whether girls should be allowed to wear pants in public schools, because up until then I think girls had been required to wear skirts in all schools. The argument against girls wearing pants was that it was indecent to show the crotch area of the female body like that, and that pants simply accentuated it. But are you kidding me? Arguably, the guys have more to showcase down there! It's like comparing plains to mountains!

    I say we go back to the days when real men wore skirts and enjoyed a little breeze down there. It's only fair, you know? The guys are missing out on a valuable pleasure in life. Plus, it's way easier to use the bathroom when you're wearing a skirt. And probably other things.
    They're running just like you
    For you, and I, wooo
    So people, people, need some good ol' love

  8. #38

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    Quote Originally Posted by Martoon View Post
    Bicycle story
    I must confess that this has happened to me. Here's what I wrote about it then:

    A moment of silence for my dear departed 1989 Honda Accord.

    It expired Wednesday at 8:55am, surrounded by family and friends (me). Those family and friends (me) pushed its bloated carcass out of the middle of a humongous intersection amid honks and obscenities. Not a very dignified way to go out. Cause of death was a blown head gasket. In lieu of flowers, donations can be sent to my mechanic.

    The car died right in the middle of the intersection, and I hopped out to push it into a gas station that was blessedly located on one of the corners. As I turned the wheel to push, the car started rolling away from me. I had not noticed before this moment that the intersection crowned in the middle and had a slight incline on all sides. The car picked up speed as I ran alongside it, fearful that it would hit something. I was losing the race, so I took a leap of faith and grabbed the wheel with one hand, jumping and pulling myself partway into the car. My feet were on the pedals and both hands on the wheel, but my considerable ass was hanging outside the car, inches from the asphalt, with the door flapping back and forth and slamming into me. Finally I got control of the car, heaved my ass inside and pulled over. I was probably twenty yards past the gas station at this point. A couple of guys helped me push the car (uphill of course) back to the station.

    It's funny, I didn't have any time to think and so I did the most dangerous thing possible. My instinct was to be more concerned about the car and anything it might hit than myself. Not good. I later imagined the cops calling my mom. "He fell out and ran over his own head and legs, ma'am, but the good news is that he saved his non-operative 15-year-old car from needless body damage."
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

  9. #39
    perdu fleur par bologne Martoon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    I would say that this thread was designed to be derail-proof, but that would only encourage people to try.

    Aw, hell.

    Okay, quoting any of the following comedians will be considered a derail:

    Dane Cook
    Jay Leno
    Martin Lawrence
    Gallagher

    That is all.
    Does Emo Philips count?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
    The argument against girls wearing pants was that it was indecent to show the crotch area of the female body like that, and that pants simply accentuated it.
    Wow. And the list of obvious obsessed, repressed insanity indicators continues.
    I'm not a procrastinator. I'm a long-term planner.

  10. #40

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mempy View Post
    I say we go back to the days when real men wore skirts and enjoyed a little breeze down there. It's only fair, you know? The guys are missing out on a valuable pleasure in life. Plus, it's way easier to use the bathroom when you're wearing a skirt. And probably other things.
    This is a terrible idea! If you think guys grab their crotches too much now, just think of the epidemic it will become when John Thomas is unencumbered. Women have more self-control, which is why they've been entrusted with skirts. Pants are what separate man from the animals. Sometimes.

    If we have any Scotsmen on the forum, they may beg to differ
    Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.

    Johari
    /Nohari

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