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  1. #11
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    I'm personally a fan of a few of those e-type defense mechanisms but also find that humor, drinking, gambling, ranting, and hot, kinky, primal sex seems to help
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  2. #12
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    I always try to look for the silver lining. I am great at changing my mind about why this "new" situation is really better than the old, because of this reason or that reason. It works most of the time, but I have found it lacking when the really big things in life hit me. After I recover from the initial grief and shock, I usually go back to looking for the silver lining again.

  3. #13
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    I always try to look for the silver lining. I am great at changing my mind about why this "new" situation is really better than the old, because of this reason or that reason. It works most of the time, but I have found it lacking when the really big things in life hit me. After I recover from the initial grief and shock, I usually go back to looking for the silver lining again.
    Yeah, I'm quite a lot like that. Except...sometimes the silver lining really seems like a silver lining, but at other times it's more like...bitter resignation, or cynicism, or something.
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  4. #14
    The Eighth Colour Octarine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I'm a big fan of denial
    Yes, denial is totally underrated!

    (well it was until we pointed it out)

  5. #15
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Funny, I saw this topic and was like, "Hey, I must have those! Let me think...".

    Then I realized I am one big coping mechanism. My entire Ti frame-working is the very essence of a coping mechanism. Essentially, I am a coping mechanism.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  6. #16
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    @Huxley3112 Thanks for posting that Enneagram coping list. I may be a 5 by that desc...

  7. #17
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    @Huxley3112 Thanks for posting that Enneagram coping list. I may be a 5 by that desc...
    They are freudian ego defence mechanisms, at least most of them, like huxley already corrected. if you want some info for coping mwchanisms, i suggest looking at karen horneys work. i can post pic of my notes from school about the subject in sec(im on phone so cba to write them)
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  8. #18
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Turns out that my phone is stupid and wont let me use camera with low battery... so i guess i need to write.

    First i need to write about her concept of self:

    real self: inner core of personality that we perceive about ourselves.
    Despised self: perceptions of inferiority and shortcomings based on others negative feedback.
    ideal self: striving for perfection; "tyranny of the shoulds".

    Styles of adaptation to basic anxiety(that comes from having to repress feelings of hostility and anger that arise from conflicts with family or society as a child):

    passive style: get along by being compliant(-> moving towards)
    aggressive style: fighting to get by(-> moving against)
    withdrawn style: not to engage emotianally(-> moving away from)

    And the (neurotic) coping strategies(which develop from style of adaptation to basic anxiety):

    moving towards people: attempting to make others happy, to gain love and to secure approval and affection - over-identification with despised self.

    Moving against people: striving for power, recognition and admiration - over-identification with ideal self.

    Moving away from people: withdrawal of emotional investment from relationships to avoid being hurt - wants to overcome despised self, but feels inadequate to do so.

    Do note that these neurotic coping strategies are when people take them to extremes, but they do apply to smaller things too, but arent as strong with healthy people than those who really struggle with these
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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  9. #19
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    @INTP Thanks for the effort.. I don't enjoy typing on my phone.

    Umm, actually thinking about it as I do use Isolation as a defense mechanism, althought I have expirimented with others. Or maybe my mean defense mechanism could be described as a time limited Denial. I definitely use an Aggresive coping stragegy as you describe it. I do see the difference, though.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    The vid is interesting.. I'm very much an essentialist. How does that tie into the subject?
    Well spotted .. I was so busy typing, i forgot to actually mention the main reason i wrote this and how i attached it to the video I was tired.

    It spoke of the electric shocks and immediately i had a 'ah ha' moment as i know this is something i do almost all of the time. Be it someone is intentionally hurting me or even unaware they are hurting me, i have to turn it on itself (which i see as a possible coping mechanism) so i feel less pain .. For example, someone may say incredible hurtful words, which may or may not be true and although i'll take responsibility for my actions, i HAVE to twist it so it brings me less pain. I would rather be in denial and think to myself that the person didn't mean to hurt me on purpose (even though on occasion the opposite is true) than believe the people get some form of sadistic joy from bringing others down to their level. I'd rather think well of people and wish them well than think they are spiteful and vindictive.

    That's all.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

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