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  1. #21
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    no...but i offered to do it for nothing for my sister when she was having trouble becoming pregnant...so it has nothing to do with the "concept" and everything to do with my relationships with the person. you sound extremely distant from her...not sensing any love there....so yeah no.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #22
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    Strange thing happened the other day, just got me thinking about how other people might deal with something like this, what choices would they make, and why.. [see, this is where you kids come in]

    I heard recently that my wealthy, alcoholic aunt was thinking of offering me upwards of $100,000.00 to act as a surrogate mother for her and her husband, as she cannot carry a pregnancy to term herself. She, like me, has never been interested in children, however her [also alchoholic, debilitatingly so] husband, wants a child someday. She basically thinks a kid will cure his lifelong drinking problem.

    So I hope you're getting the picture here- terribly dysfunctional people, every aspect of this situation is just wrong. An unhappy, turbulent and probably abusive life would be guaranteed for any of their offspring, as things stand.

    No amount of money would convince me that those two human beings could give a child a stable life, not to mention the entire concept of pregnancy is nightmarish and disgusting to me [sorry, moms, but that's how I've always felt about it]. Just, all of it, would haunt me forever.

    Of course my answer, if ever asked, will be a firm, immovable NO.

    But it made me wonder, for that much money, assuming you knew the parents would be incapable for providing the kid a secure and loving home, would you assist regardless? I wonder how much money it takes to push people's moral boundaries.
    Well my sister has a debilitating alcohol and substance misuse problem, that's tip of the ice berg but anyway, so I've always thought, as have my parents, about what would happen should social services come to the door and tell us that she was expecting because the child would be freed at birth probably, it would have to be adopted by a family member or adopted by another childless family probably. I couldnt see any assessment asying that she was capable at all, if it did it would only be prolonging the inevitable foster placement, perhaps compounding any damage or risk there would be.

    I dont honestly believe that I would look after someone elses children full time and act as a surrogate, I say that because I'm already working with teenagers who require placement for a variety of reasons but their inheritance from dysfunctional parents plays a part. So it would be too much work to have to deal with the stress that goes along with that the complete day and night through.

  3. #23
    Temporal Mechanic. Lexicon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I can't get pregnant, but umm.. Yeah.

    Really? Your reason is to prevent offspring for this so called dysfunctional family? I'll try not to ask details. You know better. I'm not really one to think people should be prevented from having families unless they're truly extreme.. like the family in Texas Chainsaw Massacre or something.

    I have a hard time believing she'd simply do it because she believes that will "cure" alcoholism. Sorry, but that sounds more like something an observer would project, not something that someone would intentionally say.
    No, she said this.
    ''I really think having that baby he's wanted would make him stop drinking for good.. maybe [Lex] would like to make $100k and be a surrogate..''


    I've never had any interest in bearing children myself, so nothing would change my mind on that. Family used to disappointedly compare me to her, in that regard, as she also never had interest in children & took measures to avoid being around them whenever possible.

    She won't resolve her alcoholism, and she won't leave her rich alcoholic husband, so she's looking anywhere she can for a band-aid, and sadly, she really thinks a child would do it. I don't blame you for finding that hard to believe, but people like that do exist. I know her and it still baffles me.


    I should probably clarify again in general here that nothing would change my mind on this, no amount of money. Everyone's responses have been very interesting; I almost expected more people to say they'd do it/consider doing it.
    03/23 06:06:58 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:06:59 EcK: lex
    03/23 06:21:34 Nancynobullets: LEXXX *sacrifices a first born*
    03/23 06:21:53 Nancynobullets: We summon yooouuu
    03/23 06:29:07 Lexicon: I was sleeping!



    04/25 04:20:35 Patches: Don't listen to lex. She wants to birth a litter of kittens. She doesnt get to decide whats creepy

    02/16 23:49:38 ygolo: Lex is afk
    02/16 23:49:45 Cimarron: she's doing drugs with Jack

    03/05 19:27:41 Time: You can't make chat morbid. Lex does it naturally.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Mae's Avatar
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    Has nothing to do with the dysfunctional family situation, but I would never go through pregnancy and give birth to a baby that wasn't "mine". Though, I might be persuaded to change my mind for 1mil...
    I got my smile from the sunshine,
    I got my tears from the rain.
    I learned to dance when I saw a tiger prance,
    And a peacock taught me to be vain.
    A little owl in a tree so high,
    He taught me how to wink my eye.
    I learned to bill and coo from a turtledove,
    And a grizzly bear taught me how to hug.
    But the guy that lived two caves from me,
    He taught me how to love.

  5. #25

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    ^I can imagine circumstances in which I would. If I had a loving relationship with a sister (I have none) and she had asked me to carry her child because she couldn't, I would have a hard time saying no to be honest. I certainly would NOT accept money outside funds for medical care, missed work etc.

    As for Lexi's situation, thassa HELL NAW.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  6. #26
    Lungs & Lips Locked Unkindloving's Avatar
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    I wouldn't even consider a "Maybe" based on the bolded alone.
    Were it some other morally questionable action that'd grant me that amount of money? I would probably give it some damn good thought, but babies are my absolute dealbreaker.
    Even if my issues with babies could be pushed to the side, I'd probably end up anonymously calling child services on them relatively quickly. Get my money, fuck up their shit, and relax.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lexicon View Post
    No amount of money would convince me that those two human beings could give a child a stable life, not to mention the entire concept of pregnancy is nightmarish and disgusting to me [sorry, moms, but that's how I've always felt about it]. Just, all of it, would haunt me forever.
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

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    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

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