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  1. #1
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    Exclamation Unofficially changing your name

    I've recently been thinking of changing my first name. My reason-- it was given to me by my father, and I've got daddy issues. Now that I am moving away from him I want a fresh start, along with a new name.

    Legally changing it seems like a pain, but I could still go by a name without it being a legal name, right?

    But is it stupid to give yourself a name? I've heard a few people who think so, especially if you're giving yourself a name that is "cool" in some way, because in doing so it becomes ironically uncool.

    Personally, I want to change my name to Mello. I chose it for a couple of reasons-- for one, I like the name and like how it sounds. It is unique too, which I like. Also, it is the same name as a manga/anime character I like.

    What do you think? Is it too...[I don't even know what to call it]? Too stupid or too fake?

  2. #2
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    I think people are definitely going to know (or maybe even hope) it's not your given name, and I'm not crazy about the actual name itself. But it's your life, and there are plenty of people out there with offbeat or oddly spelled given names, and they get along just fine. Maybe if most of the people you tend to befriend are into anime/manga, as well, they'll think it's cool.

    I'd think about your long-term future, too, though. Is Mello a name you want to put on job applications? or would it just be Mello to your friends, since you're not changing it officially? I guess at that point, it's just a nickname, anyway, so it might be a non-issue. Just tell people your real name, but that most people call you Mello. They'll assume it's a name someone else gave you.
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    Well, going by a name is indeed far better than legally changing it; legal name change requires a court petition, hundreds of dollars, months of time, a complete notification of all former social facilities (schools, bank, etc.) concerning your new name change, and little way to change the name again. Thus unofficially is somewhat of a good idea in that respect.

    However, going by a name that is far too odd will draw some unwanted attention and people may not take you seriously; calling oneself Bull Bulletman would make one look like a poser or dork, unless of course they were a gruff mountain man whom could live up to that name. You could always acknowledge to new social aquiantances though, that Mello is nickname which you have had for years, and its a name you like to go by; something about it (aside from the Death Note reference) does sound serene and peaceful and could work assuming that you're female. But don't say to others 'oh yeah I totally gave myself this name cause it was cool/I liked it' rather inform people 'it's been my nickname since I was like five'; people will be more accepting of it then.

    It is unfortunate however how intolerant society can be of strange or peculiar names; I myself have unofficially changed my name to Leowulf J. Solberg, which is more of a pen name than anything else. But as to whether society would accept such a name or whether I would legally change it to that, I can't be sure, although it does sound realistic enough and could always be abbreviated as Leo.

  4. #4
    Self sustaining supernova Zoom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alternative Solution View Post
    I've recently been thinking of changing my first name. My reason-- it was given to me by my father, and I've got daddy issues. Now that I am moving away from him I want a fresh start, along with a new name.

    Legally changing it seems like a pain, but I could still go by a name without it being a legal name, right?

    But is it stupid to give yourself a name? I've heard a few people who think so, especially if you're giving yourself a name that is "cool" in some way, because in doing so it becomes ironically uncool.

    Personally, I want to change my name to Mello. I chose it for a couple of reasons-- for one, I like the name and like how it sounds. It is unique too, which I like. Also, it is the same name as a manga/anime character I like.

    What do you think? Is it too...[I don't even know what to call it]? Too stupid or too fake?
    I would suggest having your close friends call you it for a while, learn how much ye like it and go from there. Picking a name from a manga and not having any... deeper reasoning behind it could lead to it being a temporary want. If ye're still at the stage where ye're gathering opinions and asking others what they think of it, perhaps wait a bit and see what you think of it long term first, and how ye feel being called it by those close to you?

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Savage Idealist View Post
    Well, going by a name is indeed far better than legally changing it; legal name change requires a court petition, hundreds of dollars, months of time, a complete notification of all former social facilities (schools, bank, etc.) concerning your new name change, and little way to change the name again. Thus unofficially is somewhat of a good idea in that respect.

    However, going by a name that is far too odd will draw some unwanted attention and people may not take you seriously; calling oneself Bull Bulletman would make one look like a poser or dork, unless of course they were a gruff mountain man whom could live up to that name. You could always acknowledge to new social aquiantances though, that Mello is nickname which you have had for years, and its a name you like to go by; something about it (aside from the Death Note reference) does sound serene and peaceful and could work assuming that you're female. But don't say to others 'oh yeah I totally gave myself this name cause it was cool/I liked it' rather inform people 'it's been my nickname since I was like five'; people will be more accepting of it then.

    It is unfortunate however how intolerant society can be of strange or peculiar names
    Thanks Savage

    I agree about officially changing my name-- it would be far too much work.

    As far as telling people that I've had the nickname for a long time-- well it does sound better, but it wouldn't be true, and I don't want to lie to anyone.

    I am actually not female-- I'm a gay male.

    That's a good point about people not taking me seriously-- I wouldn't want that. I guess it's a question of whether there's a difference between something like Mello and something like Bull Bulletman.

    Also, I'm not sure that I'd want to consider it a "nickname", since there is sort of a rule that a nickname is given and not chosen. If I unofficially change my name, I'd rather think of it as my name, but not my "birth name" or "legal name".

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoom View Post
    I would suggest having your close friends call you it for a while, learn how much ye like it and go from there. Picking a name from a manga and not having any... deeper reasoning behind it could lead to it being a temporary want. If ye're still at the stage where ye're gathering opinions and asking others what they think of it, perhaps wait a bit and see what you think of it long term first, and how ye feel being called it by those close to you?
    Well the manga isn't the only reason. Even before I knew of the manga, I liked names starting with 'M' and ending with a vowel. So, it just seemed to fit me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alternative Solution View Post
    Thanks Savage

    I agree about officially changing my name-- it would be far too much work.

    As far as telling people that I've had the nickname for a long time-- well it does sound better, but it wouldn't be true, and I don't want to lie to anyone.

    I am actually not female-- I'm a gay male.

    That's a good point about people not taking me seriously-- I wouldn't want that. I guess it's a question of whether there's a difference between something like Mello and something like Bull Bulletman.

    Also, I'm not sure that I'd want to consider it a "nickname", since there is sort of a rule that a nickname is given and not chosen. If I unofficially change my name, I'd rather think of it as my name, but not my "birth name" or "legal name".
    Glad I could be of help

    Mello (Mellow) could still work then I suppose, although I would suggest that you take Zoom's advice and use the name around your current friends for a while ans see how it sounds. Also, consider names that aren't 'too out there'; look up names based on meaning then choose that name; unless your looking for something so unique that no one else in the world could possibly share it with you then there are a lot of normal names to choose from. Changing ones name unofficially from Tom to John will usually be socially acceptable, as opposed to changing ones name unofficially from Tom to Starlight, or something like that.

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    Also, Mihael/Michael could be a possible unofficial name change

  9. #9
    Self sustaining supernova Zoom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alternative Solution View Post
    Well the manga isn't the only reason. Even before I knew of the manga, I liked names starting with 'M' and ending with a vowel. So, it just seemed to fit me.
    Deeper meaning does not necessarily mean you like the sound of the name right now. It means that it sounds, feels and is right for the person long term - as that is the time frame you've been speaking of, at least. Living with it for a certain amount of time helps one know that this spelling, pronounciation and variation of the name are indeed what you want*.

    *It's a bitch to change one's name again after everyone has adjusted to calling ye something different (which takes a while initially as it is). Trust me.

  10. #10
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    My mom's done that most of her life, as she was given a very old-fashioned name. She goes by her middle name which makes things a lot easier in every way (legally, socially etc). Would that be an option for you?


    If you choose to do this, be aware that a lot of/most? people will judge you when you say "Hi my name is Mellow*", particularly once they learn you chose it yourself rather than being victim to your parents' whims. It's even worse than "starlight" or something because it sounds like you're describing yourself. If you were my friend I'd laugh at you. But it's your life obviously.

    *yeah I know, "mello", but people will still hear "mellow" when you say it.
    -end of thread-

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