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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by BAJ View Post
    @Marm and others: That is one level, but they don't really care. They do not care if the girl has a name, or if she likes the color blue, or if she's feeling bad because her parents are getting divorce, or because she's failing the 7th grade, or if she likes ponies or WHATEVER. You see, it doesn't matter if a sexual thought never entered the girl's head. It doesn't matter if she is really just trying to fit in with her friends and be cute. Maybe it matters according to her own karma what her volition is, but her feelings, thought and soul are not taken into account.

    Men have a lizard brain, and there are perspectives beyond that, but if they are acting from the lizard brain, then then you could remove the girls brain and put in an inanimate piece of fruit, and they would still think she's hot stuff. Also, their fantasy might have nothing to do with the girl "wanting it". She is a thing, like a piece of fruit on a tree. There is a saying in Thialand: "The old cow who likes to eat the young grass" or something. It only matters that the grass is green and seems yummy to that type of cow.
    My grandfather tried really hard to explain it to me. He wanted me covered, not walking around the neighborhood in even my one piece bathing suit once I passed puberty, not wearing a two-piece bathing suit until I was at least sixteen or seventeen, and generally wearing skirts or dresses of a "decent" length once I passed puberty. He would have put me in lacey Mormon-like church dresses if he could have gotten away with it, but he was happy as long as I was covered, and he hated black eye liner...he thought it looked sexually provocative with colored lipstick...and I agree. I now wear that exact make-up if I want to look sexy, lol...especially a man from his generation (young in the 1940's and 1950's) that screamed PIN UP GIRL to him...so yeah I couldn't wear eyeliner and wasn't supposed to wear lipstick that wasn't either clear lipgloss or like a light pinkish or brownish shade.

    HE TRIED TO TELL ME. "It's not you...it's them" and "Boys are often just looking for a hole in the ground to stick it in." Maybe because he was so crude and ISTJ about it, I didn't want to believe him, but now as an adult I see what he meant, of course.

    Teenaged girls can be very naiive.

  2. #52
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    @Orange

    Yeah. I agree with the "easy to victimize" thing.

    Probably most girls are sexually abused by someone they trust like a relative. My sister was picked up by a guy at church; she was 14. Actually I believe the guy was dating my other sister who was 18. He was not a "stranger."

    Girls walking around at Wal-Mart or at the mall are probably safe outright rape, but not safe from objectification.

  3. #53
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    I usually got more attention when I wore revealing clothing.

    My thought is that that are so many other ways to dress, I don't need to dress in a revealing manner. I like to be a bit more creative.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by BAJ View Post
    @Orange

    Yeah. I agree with the "easy to victimize" thing.

    Probably most girls are sexually abused by someone they trust like a relative. My sister was picked up by a guy at church; she was 14. Actually I believe the guy was dating my other sister who was 18. He was not a "stranger."

    Girls walking around at Wal-Mart or at the mall are probably safe outright rape, but not safe from objectification.
    Re: the "easy to victimize" thing...I remember being about 20 years old and a female friend telling me that I was not easy to victimize, not because of my clothing, but because I walk assertively, with my head up, defiant eyes, can react quickly, walk quickly...she said a lot of women who are sexually assaulted or mugged in public carry themselves submissively or like victims or they're too nice to strange men.

    Of course, you don't have to be on the street to be assaulted, your point about your friend having that happening at church is a good point to bring up.

  5. #55
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BAJ View Post
    @Marm and others: That is one level, but they don't really care. They do not care if the girl has a name, or if she likes the color blue, or if she's feeling bad because her parents are getting divorce, or because she's failing the 7th grade, or if she likes ponies or WHATEVER. You see, it doesn't matter if a sexual thought never entered the girl's head. It doesn't matter if she is really just trying to fit in with her friends and be cute. Maybe it matters according to her own karma what her volition is, but her feelings, thought and soul are not taken into account.

    Men have a lizard brain, and there are perspectives beyond that, but if they are acting from the lizard brain, then then you could remove the girls brain and put in an inanimate piece of fruit, and they would still think she's hot stuff. Also, their fantasy might have nothing to do with the girl "wanting it". She is a thing, like a piece of fruit on a tree. There is a saying in Thialand: "The old cow who likes to eat the young grass" or something. It only matters that the grass is green and seems yummy to that type of cow.
    that's how i see it too...yuck...i've always been completely turned off by the smallest glimpse of that way of thinking in guys. unfuckingcivilized apemen...bleh
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    I usually got more attention when I wore revealing clothing.

    My thought is that that are so many other ways to dress, I don't need to dress in a revealing manner. I like to be a bit more creative.
    This is the reasoning why a lot of women who have worked in the adult industry or as some kind of (legal) sex worker know not to dress very sexy in public. Strippers are highly likely to leave the house in glasses, no make-up, pajama pants and a tee shirt...a friend of mine and me were joking about his because he met his current girlfriend when she was a dancer.

  7. #57
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    I think the real problem (I think I touched on this earlier) is not that guys have a certain reaction to certain clothing, but rather that teenaged girls especially are just dumb. I'm serious. Society, public schools, and "abstinence only" parents have failed them hardcore when it comes to navigating sexuality and dating and their own bodies. I feel like when I was 13 I was aware of a lot of these things and just didn't trust guys in general, and I was blessed in a way of going to a school where I was considered kinda a freak and therefore undateable.

    It's one thing to be a grown woman, financially independent, mentally and emotionally sound, in a stable phase in life, who decides to dress overtly sexy on a date or go out with friends. She is OWNING her body and her sexuality, she is poised and IN CONTROL in as much as a woman in a egalitarian society can be, and she is consciously making choices understanding the kind of responses she can get, she is mentally and physically prepared to handle unwanted advances and further prepared to handle responses she DOES want. That's like a better case scenario.

    Now, you get these clueless adolescent girls giggling over boys and make-up who barely know how their period works let alone how to put on a condom properly, who blush and scream like crazy at the word "penis" and don't realize that it's NOT okay for boys/men to look at them or touch them in certain ways walking around like pedo-magnets and getting knocked up at 15 so they can feature on MTV documentary specials looking ignorant, uneducated, spoiled, and destined to a future of failure. I mean WTF for real. Children dressing up like Bratz dolls are bait and are calling trouble. The fact that so many children THINK they are grown? OMG disaster waiting to happen.

    Big difference.

    You cannot compare CHILDREN'S sexuality with ADULT sexuality. Even when consensual and with other teens of the same age, most teenagers are NOT ready for the emotional dimension of sex. Sex is easy, relationships are hard.
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  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post

    It's one thing to be a grown woman, financially independent, mentally and emotionally sound, in a stable phase in life, who decides to dress overtly sexy on a date or go out with friends. She is OWNING her body and her sexuality, she is poised and IN CONTROL in as much as a woman in a egalitarian society can be, and she is consciously making choices understanding the kind of responses she can get, she is mentally and physically prepared to handle unwanted advances and further prepared to handle responses she DOES want. That's like a better case scenario.
    THIS.

    Now, you get these clueless adolescent girls giggling over boys and make-up who barely know how their period works let alone how to put on a condom properly, who blush and scream like crazy at the word "penis" and don't realize that it's NOT okay for boys/men to look at them or touch them in certain ways walking around like pedo-magnets
    Agreed. There are ways men looked at me and talked to me and even attempted to or did touch me when I was in high school that I didn't know how to respond to because I was less assertive or had never dealt with it before or wanted to be "nice"...it's not because I wanted it, it's because I didn't have the inner strength and knowledge to deal with it.

    I'd like to go back in time and break some arms, but being protective of other adolescent girls will have to do.


    You cannot compare CHILDREN'S sexuality with ADULT sexuality. Even when consensual and with other teens of the same age, most teenagers are NOT ready for the emotional dimension of sex. Sex is easy, relationships are hard.
    YES.

  9. #59
    Senior Member Hera's Avatar
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    My parents never cared what I wore because they knew that when it came to guys I didn't pay them any attention. That said, I've always preferred dressing a little less sexy and a little more comfortable.

  10. #60
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Thanks, all the ladies for sharing their points of view. What do you all think is the best way to teach your girls to kick ass in the icky boys department?

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