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  1. #71
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I must admit that I didn't watch that because.... it was 10 minutes long..... and stuff....

    But I don't think you need to worry. Because what you should REALLY be worried about is the fact that the older you get, the stronger your Fe function will become inside you.... threatening to take over your entire logical being with feelings and emotions and wanting to hug animals. That is the hidden trojan beacon hidden inside of each and every NT threatening to burst forth from your rib cage like the butterflies of Hades.

    Did that help you at all?
    Not really. I blame lack of background investigation.

    Plus, it's just plain disturbing.


    Here's a marine biology question for you. (he he) I fished a little as a kid and teenager. I've been thinking it would be fun to catch my own dinner on backpacking trips, and I've been thinking of taking up freshwater fly fishing. Should I? Where would I be most likely to catch salmon in Ohio?

  2. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Not really. I blame lack of background investigation.

    Plus, it's just plain disturbing.


    Here's a marine biology question for you. (he he) I fished a little as a kid and teenager. I've been thinking it would be fun to catch my own dinner on backpacking trips, and I've been thinking of taking up freshwater fly fishing. Should I? Where would I be most likely to catch salmon in Ohio?


    Do you know how many parasites fresh water fish have? Look at this tasty Salmon with stuff in it.

    Your best bet for catching Salmon in Ohio is in the freezer section of your local grocery story. Just set up a net and cast it into the icy depths of their freezers.

    You might even hook some mozzerella sticks!

  3. #73
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Saturned,
    I have an idea to make video games more appealing to women. I think they would greatly benefit from some ''Pro Tips'' that would be given during gameplay.

    What do you think?
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  4. #74
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post


    Do you know how many parasites fresh water fish have? Look at this tasty Salmon with stuff in it.

    Your best bet for catching Salmon in Ohio is in the freezer section of your local grocery story. Just set up a net and cast it into the icy depths of their freezers.

    You might even hook some mozzerella sticks!
    I think I'll definitely skip the diseased salmon.

    Thanks for the advice. I might go ahead and fish, but feed what I catch to others and bring a vegetarian dish for myself--like those mozzarella sticks!

  5. #75
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Dear Saturned,

    Have you ever tried Aquafina Flavor Splash water? If so, was it expensive? Which one of the 50 states did you buy it in? What is your favorite color rock? Do you ever take pictures of your food and send it to friends or is that something that other MBTI types are more likely to do? Do you like hugging people who aren't in your inner circle? How's the weather today? Have you mowed your lawn recently?
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  6. #76
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Dear Saturned,

    Considering the success of the last anecdote I presented you with, I thought perhaps you could help shed some light on a more recent event. It is a tale of lechery and love, of adultery and antipasta, and hopefully will interest you even if you do not possess a healthy appetite for Italian cuisine.


    Within the Ludicruous Evil League of Ludicruous Evil, there are 50 mad scientists with Significant Others. (The League does not discriminate against same-sex unions nor the gender of its villainous masterminds, although it does believe that female henchmen do look better than men henchmen in catsuits, whiskers, and little furry cat ears.)

    As would befit an organization of dastardly villains, everyone within the League is having an affair -- despite the reality that if any Significant Other discovers their villainous partner to have another lover, the Significant Other will by the next morning always murder their partner through whatever dastardly means are available within the lab (whether that means atomic scrambling, gene-splicing with toadstools, lavendar-and-battery-acid baths, or even blood-to-CheeseWhiz transmutation). The possibilities are endless but always amusing.

    Ironically, while their villianous partners are absorbed in the lab or out taking over the world, the Significant Others will gab quite freely about their adulterous activities! They are all perfectly aware that any SO who is having an affair will tell every other SO in the League -- except of course the SO of the villain with whom they are having the affair.

    Yet the League continues along peacefully, aside from lab accidents, genetic mutations, and hyperdimensional alien invasions, because no SO can know for sure that their villain partner is actually having an affair.

    This year, Leslie is sitting next to her lover, the nefarious Baron von Schlunk, at the League's annual Science Fair Ball, when the goody-goody Captain Pinnochio crashes the party. Right before he is turned into rigatoni by Dr. Emil Pastafarian's noodle ray, Captain Pinnochio yelps, "Jiminy Cricket, there's a villain in this room who is having an affair! Why don't I ever have such luck???"

    Unfortunately for everyone involved, Captain Pinnochio's power is that he cannot tell a lie; and despite his immmediate noodleization, it's clear that the Captain's nose did not change size ... not even by a nostril hair.

    Spooky organ music now plays from some unknown source while Leslie and every other SO in the room turns to confront their partners, but none of the villains even bats an eye, and the hideous von Schlunk simply asks Leslie to pass the garlic knots and otherwise pretends the Captain's declaration never occurred.

    What is the inevitable final conclusion of this startling revelation?
    Who is Jiminy Cricket and where is he hiding?
    And has Captain Pinnochio's brave sacrifice born something positive from the fruit food group, to flesh out a perfectly good Italian meal, or was he simply noodling for nothing?

    Please, Saturned-Wan. Help me. I must know the truth.
    Dear Jennifer,

    Thank you for your inquiry. I have consulted with my team of NF puzzle solving bunnies and based on the information you have provided me with, we have to come to the following conclusion as a very plausible explanation of the events that took place at the most recent annual Science Ball held in Portland, Oregon by the Ludicrous Evil League of Ludicrous Evil:

    Captain Pinnochio, president and CEO of Antarctica Industries, living in the "suburbs" of McMurdo Station Antarctica, is working on several sophisticated projects at the moment. In one of those projects, he has found a way to tap into e-mail and phone conversations of various science labs around the world (why only science labs? I don't know, you'll have to ask him, as it's his project). One day, after a day of hard work, Pinnochio was relaxing with his pet polar bear, Snuffles, and decided to "have some fun" and listen to some conversations in random science labs across the world. To his astonishment, he learned that someone in this League in Oregon was having an affair. Pinnochio had gone to college with one of the leaders of the Ludicrous Evil League of Ludicrous Evil, Dr. Rice-a-Roni. Back in college, they referred to Rice-a-Roni simply as "The San Francisco Treat". Despite being great friends and frat brothers for the better part of 4 years, Pinnochio and Rice-a-Roni had a major falling out near the end of their senior year over a woman named Monikah Lewinskee, who they both "thought" they were dating.

    Pictured here, Rice-A-Roni in his boxing days:


    Pinnochio has held a grudge against Rice-a-Roni ever since (because Rice-a-Roni "got the girl") and so, upon hearing the news that there was trouble in Rice-a-Roni's camp, he decided to pay a visit to his "old buddy" and shed light on the fact (and share evidence) that there was some cheating going on in the League. This would be one way of getting back at Rice-a-Roni.

    Pinnochio hopped on his "ocean sleigh" pulled by his team of great white sharks and traveled swiftly from Antarctica to Portland, where he would crash the Science Ball. When he crashed the party and made the announcement that someone was indeed cheating, Dr. Pastafarian, knowing that he himself was having an affair, believed that the party crasher was talking about him. Pastafarian reasoned that he had been caught in his adulterous ways, humiliated in front of all. In his emotional, irrational fit of rage, Pastafarian lashed out and noodleized Pinnochio - exacting immediate revenge on the one who had revealed his dirty secret. It's still unknown whether Pastafarian's fit of rage should be attributed to Fi or Fe. Nobody is sure of his MBTI type, but we will leave that to Elfboy to figure out.

    Here sits Pinnochio, MBTI unknown, right before he becomes al dente:


    Getting back to the story, Pastafarian lashed out and took his revenge, while Baron von Schlunk continued enjoying his food because he knew reasoned (whether right or wrong) that Pinnochio's proclamation didn't affect him. He knew that many people in the community were having affairs, but Pinnochio didn't have time to say "who" was having an affair before his untimely death. Von Schlunk knew that he himself was having an affair, but didn't believe thatPinnochio's revelation did nothing anything to intrude upon that affair because no names were mentioned. Although, he is "playing it cool", because he is a little worried that after the Ball, the community is going to get together and "get to the bottom" of things. Underneath Von Schlunk's cool facade, he is sweating a little bit, because he knows that his secret, and the secrets of others, may well be exposed once the evil scientists get together to discuss these matters.

    Jiminy Cricket, on the hand, is Pinnochio's pet cricket - everyone knows that! Jiminy joined Pinnochio on the trip to Portland (he had never had the pleasure of riding on the shark sleigh before - what an experience it was!) and, upon seeing his buck-toothed buddy get noodleized, he hid under the table out of fear. Of all places, he is hiding on von Schlunk's left shoe. He is scared out of his wits because he has no idea how he will get back home to Antarctica; he doesn't know how to steer the sharks and he's not strong enough to man the wheel of the shark sleigh.

    If this scenario is not logically possible, could you please shed light on why is it not possible?

  7. #77
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Dear Saturned,

    Have you ever tried Aquafina Flavor Splash water? If so, was it expensive? Which one of the 50 states did you buy it in? What is your favorite color rock? Do you ever take pictures of your food and send it to friends or is that something that other MBTI types are more likely to do? Do you like hugging people who aren't in your inner circle? How's the weather today? Have you mowed your lawn recently?
    *shakes die* Ne!

    So, @INTPness, this one time at band camp I was really thirsty so I decided I would trot over to the nearest town and purchase some water. I was young so I only had a few dollars to my name. (Let's get the details right, shall we? I had exactly $2.87.) The way was difficult as I had to traverse a meadow of hopping bunnies, a forest of snuggling doves, and a stream of endless glitter. I was not to be distracted, however, and I persevered onward. Finally after many hours, I arrived at the Nebraska town. I saw one gas station immediately, but as it was on the wrong side of the road... I decided that there must be another, more conveniently located, gas station just ahead on my side of the road. Little did I realize that the next gas station was several miles away. I was determined to be efficient so I pressed onward. Presently I was rewarded with yet another gas station.

    This gas station was very shiny and I saw several signs advertising some new water. "New water?" I thought to myself. I was quite intrigued! Upon entering the store I saw a giant display of Aquafina Flavor Splash water for sale. There were so many choices, I almost couldn't decide! Upon great decision I finally selected the grape flavor and went to the front of the store with my purchase.

    "That will be $4.81 with taxes, please." Said the clerk.
    "What?! That is outragegous!!" I yelled dramatically.
    "Unfortunately due to the fact that this water is created with artisan grapes from the valleys of Tuscany, Italy, and the water is culled from glaciers in Iceland, the water is actually a bargain at this price."
    "But... I only have $2.87!" I wailed sadly.
    "Well, this isn't normal policy but if you give me a hug that will help make up the difference in price."

    With a heavy heart, a sad face, but thirsty stomach, I hugged this weird Nebraskan stranger and got my water.

    I then began the long journey back to band camp... feeling as if I had sold a piece of my soul in the process. But my tastebuds were quite happy so perhaps it all meshed out in....... The End.

    ------------------

    I am really partial to gray rocks actually. You know what's weird? No matter how many times I look at them, they stay gray! Weird, huh?!

    Look! Gray! Rocks!


    I do enjoy taking photos of my food, my makeup purchases, and random bruises to show other people. Without visual aids, how can any of us truly see?


    Pictured here: What I am eating right now.



    The weather is actually twelve kinds of amazing.
    Look! The skies are blue:


    I have not mowed my lawn recently. But someone has!

    Hey, did you notice how green grass can be?

  8. #78
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    I have not mowed my lawn recently. But someone has!
    Please tell, what did you have to do to get someone to mow your lawn?





  9. #79
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Please tell, what did you have to do to get someone to mow your lawn?

    Pay dem ze money.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  10. #80
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAVO View Post
    Please tell, what did you have to do to get someone to mow your lawn?




    What INTPness said.... Becuz ah haz ah townhouse. So ze association mow ze lawns for us.

    If they didn't.... Um..... Yeah.... I would probably have a wildlife sanctuary yard.

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