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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    After reading that convo, it's made me want to go to the doctor for anti-depressants. No wonder you cut him off.
    Don't y'all get it!! Qlip's friend was quite possibly trying to make Qlip feel better by sharing the bad stuff he's going through too and at the same time make Qlip laugh by making fun of himself. After all, Qlip's friend was responding to a post where Qlip ranted about wasting the last 20-yrs of his life. GOODNESS!!

  2. #32
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Okay.. I think I'm going to eat crow and try and patch things out. The disharmony knot in my gut is telling me so. I'm not used to using my Fi, but I've learned that if I override it I feel worse about it.

    EDIT:
    I gotta learn how to do that mention thing for Nerd Girl, but yeah, that idea makes me feel like I did wrong.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    I gotta learn how to do that mention thing for Nerd Girl, but yeah, that idea makes me feel like I did wrong.
    That's my first impression of the conversations you shared, but you know him better than I do. I'd like to believe that a 'friend' is just trying to be a friend the best way they know how.

    p.s., I think it will be pretty obvious when he's crossed the line into trolling. At this point, I don't see it.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Don't y'all get it!! Qlip's friend was quite possibly trying to make Qlip feel better by sharing the bad stuff he's going through too and at the same time make Qlip laugh by making fun of himself. After all, Qlip's friend was responding to a post where Qlip ranted about wasting the last 20-yrs of his life. GOODNESS!!
    No, that's not what it sounded like to me.

    What this guy did was to turn the convo back to himself so he could rant freely about his own life.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    No, that's not what it sounded like to me.

    What this guy did was to turn the convo back to himself so he could rant freely about his own life.
    It looked like that to me, too.

  6. #36
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    No, that's not what it sounded like to me.

    What this guy did was to turn the convo back to himself so he could rant freely about his own life.
    This is definitely what I was assuming. It felt like he was dumping on me. But thinking about how he connects to people, primarily women.. this is how he cheers people up. Okay.. I'm waffling again here,b ecause I'm remembering how I get treated when I'm around.

    Either he's my best friend, or he's trying to sabotage me. See, this is why I never wanted to admit to being an NFP, I freaking hate wafflers.

  7. #37
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    @Qlip well, this is a typology forum, so i'll just go ahead and throw out there that i'm pretty sure he's TP to your FP (probably xNTP to your ENFP, at that), and that's a pretty good overview of what's going on here. you were asking questions and giving responses that make sense to someone who is looking for psychoemotional empowerment. he was just venting about the situation, and your comments probably seemed like they were diving for a less relevant "heart" of the matter, even though to you and me those questions are the obvious ones to ask. he clearly wasn't seeking to connect on that level.

    i say this because i live with two TPs and i encounter similar communication issues fairly frequently (or at least, did, before i started learning about this stuff!) that comment about buying stuff to fix things... i mean, if you think about it, that's often true. from a purely logical standpoint, it's true. and if you think about how that applies to your endeavor - well, if your goal is going against consumerism, then that statement is actually quite a helpful one, and a good point to consider. it's not pejorative... just critical.

    now, he might be a jerk anyway, but i think if you try hard to read his writing without emotional bias (seriously - just try to read it completely without emotional or value-related nuance) - it'll all be generally true and fairly neutral. his message back to you - the one from your first post - is relatively logically sound. the comment about a JW background wasn't nice, and he seems to have the classic NTP disdain for religion, and it's true that he's roping it into what sounds like a conspiracy - but we're looking at it with eyes for external validity. look at the internal logic instead - not how well it applies to you, but if the system it describes is reasonable. that a child who grew up in a strongly religious community might have had their value system instituted for them, instead of them searching for their own, and subsequently may feel like they had something "stolen" from them. and then the amplification of that pattern outward to larger society. they're all fair points he's making, if externally biased. also, he capitalizes weird.

    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip
    While logically he has points, I don't think a lot of it really applies to me
    exactly.

    i basically agree with marm:

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest
    Well, he has a right to his opinion - and I think it was rather good of him to explain himself and his motives - but you also have a right to have your facebook experience be a light, happy thing rather than vicious debate.
    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip
    But don't you think its not anything other than offensive than to crash other people's parties? And why should he think I should feel grateful for his 'contribution'?
    nah. my weirdo INTP family members criticize each others' ideas. they're like, hey, that's stupid. do it this way instead. and then the other will be like, oh. ok! ...and it's just sort of how their exchanges go. sometimes they get pissed, sure, but half the time it's just no big deal. i try to look at it in the light of them being system-fixers. that's what they do. and when they tell you it's a poor system, they're trying to make it better, not just shit on it for the sake of shitting on it. that would be pointless and not worth their time anyway.

    so that's why you should be grateful, i think, in his headspace. if he's offering you his opinion, it means that he actually cares about what you're into and whether it's worth it or not.

  8. #38
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    Tiskedy Tisks. Things aren't always what they seem.

  9. #39
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    Yeah. I was going to say he seemed annoying in an especially INTx way, but I waited for someone else to mention type first so I wouldn't be accused of leading thread off topic.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    It looked like that to me, too.
    Totally. The guy diverted the convo to himself, then when Qlip tried to help him, he told him to back off.

    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    This is definitely what I was assuming. It felt like he was dumping on me. But thinking about how he connects to people, primarily women.. this is how he cheers people up. Okay.. I'm waffling again here,b ecause I'm remembering how I get treated when I'm around.

    Either he's my best friend, or he's trying to sabotage me. See, this is why I never wanted to admit to being an NFP, I freaking hate wafflers.
    No, he's not trying to sabotage you. He's just really self-centered.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Tiskedy Tisks. Things aren't always what they seem.
    Maybe but this convo sounded pretty clear cut to me. I have no idea where you pulled your impression from.

    @skylights, he sounds more like a depressed TJ to me.

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