Socially, personally or energetically. In any other way too.
I feel like the odd egg out with a defective bottom.
Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?
I go to parties and groups and don't gel. Including special interest groups that I enjoy like meditation. My 2 best supposed best friends, excluded me from their birthday party...
This nonacceptance of me feels like I don't know where to belong. I don't fit in with my family either, I maybe physically resembling yet in mind, heart and spirit huge gulfs.
I said to a friend I'm used to abandonment I expect it now. But the reality is my biggest fear is abandonment yet ironically that is what seems to happen the most. Friends abandon me when I do not. I may drift in and out of space time, but I will always be there, always. Why is life like this.
Do I create this subconsciously because I don't interact enough when I don't have the energy to? Does this seem like abandonment by others when I tell friends off the bat I struggle with situational and social standards. Please accept me for who I am, then months to years later they don't.
I would like to feel more than an anomaly now, I would like to feel relatable and down to earth and in my quest to become such, umm no! Connections everywhere feel lost, I feel more alone than ever, this concerns me.