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  1. #11
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synapse View Post
    Socially, personally or energetically. In any other way too.
    I feel like the odd egg out with a defective bottom.

    Does anyone else feel like this or is it just me?

    I go to parties and groups and don't gel. Including special interest groups that I enjoy like meditation. My 2 best supposed best friends, excluded me from their birthday party...

    This nonacceptance of me feels like I don't know where to belong. I don't fit in with my family either, I maybe physically resembling yet in mind, heart and spirit huge gulfs.

    I said to a friend I'm used to abandonment I expect it now. But the reality is my biggest fear is abandonment yet ironically that is what seems to happen the most. Friends abandon me when I do not. I may drift in and out of space time, but I will always be there, always. Why is life like this.

    Do I create this subconsciously because I don't interact enough when I don't have the energy to? Does this seem like abandonment by others when I tell friends off the bat I struggle with situational and social standards. Please accept me for who I am, then months to years later they don't.

    I would like to feel more than an anomaly now, I would like to feel relatable and down to earth and in my quest to become such, umm no! Connections everywhere feel lost, I feel more alone than ever, this concerns me.
    Did you tell your friends you wanted to be in on their party? Did you show interest in it? I hope you aren't assuming they invite people just to be exclusive.

  2. #12
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    Isn't this a common feeling to INFPs in particular?

  3. #13
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ignite View Post
    Isn't this a common feeling to INFPs in particular?
    I'd say it's more of an enneagram 4 feeling, regardless of MBTI type.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #14
    Glycerine
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    I think everyone goes through this to some extent but some know how to hide it more than others. Even the ones who appear to have lots of friends, go through this. People watch VERY closely and you'll probably start to notice it more. I can empathize with you. People try to reassure me that I fit in but I don't feel like I do.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Simi's Avatar
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    Hey, my name is Simi and this is my first post. (:

    I don't really find myself to fit in anywhere, either. Except, my problem isn't being left out, it is feeling disconnected regardless. I am constantly out of my house on a day-to-day basis hanging out with varieties of people. Lately, I've noticed that I HAVE to be out of the house. When I'm alone in the house, depression clouds over me and I honestly feel unmotivated to care take for any of my responsibilities.
    Anyway, I will go out with friends and find that I'm boring myself. Not only that, but I find myself disconnected from the situations occurring, like I'm not even included. Maybe I'm just so self-centered that if all attention isn't on me I feel like a tag-along but I'm honestly not sure. I keep apologizing to people for just standing around when we hang out lately and not really being as energetic as the rest of the group.

    I don't really get left out of things often though, only when I'm being an extreme nag to someone. /: So I'm sorry for your situation.

    Short answer is no, you're not the only one who feels like they don't fit anywhere.
    Your epidermis is showing. <3

  6. #16
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    Fi separates the individual from other people
    Strikes home deeply.

  7. #17
    Une Femme est une femme paperoceans's Avatar
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    Hey Synapse,

    Maybe your depressive outlook on life is messing up everyone's chill, you feel me? Live a little--who cares if these people got a problem with you? I say, fuck 'em. Be yourself and the right people will come along. And drop those "friends" that excluded you from their BDAYs, that's not very nice.

    Life is too short to be worrying about assholes. You fit in man, you just haven't found your ~place~
    Between that cigarillo and sticking my finger down my throat to see if I could DT, I feel like puking RN.

    Read my Blog.

  8. #18
    Une Femme est une femme paperoceans's Avatar
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    How old are you, BTW? I think everyone feels this way when they're still young and haven't actually found their "identity", ya' know? If you walk around with the mentality that everyone is going to abandon you, then they ARE. Be stronger than that. These people talk to you because they like you--be happy. Find some new hobbies--get out. Go to the bar and get some drinks (say no to 4Lokos to a lone bro); do things you like~ Whatever that is. Don't like bars, go do something else. If you like healthy shit, go out to the farmers market on the weekend. There's lots of chill people there and super cheap food (samples, hello?!).

    When I'm feeling down, I just watch Hoarders on TLC and then I realize how AWESOME my life is. Or Strange Addictions. Those people are ca-razy.
    Between that cigarillo and sticking my finger down my throat to see if I could DT, I feel like puking RN.

    Read my Blog.

  9. #19
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    Did you tell your friends you wanted to be in on their party? Did you show interest in it? I hope you aren't assuming they invite people just to be exclusive.
    I assumed I would be automatically there like previous years I suppose, I asked after the fact though. A few years ago he didn't invite his long time friend for having a wedding in another state for not inviting him. I disagreed with this, and then he did invite him but the energy of everyone felt like they were outcast now. I was about the only person who talked with them and they thanked me before they left. After the wedding things seemed to have gone back to normal. Yet I can't help but wonder at their maturity levels that seems to easily dismiss friends.

  10. #20
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synapse View Post
    I assumed I would be automatically there like previous years I suppose, I asked after the fact though. A few years ago he didn't invite his long time friend for having a wedding in another state for not inviting him. I disagreed with this, and then he did invite him but the energy of everyone felt like they were outcast now. I was about the only person who talked with them and they thanked me before they left. After the wedding things seemed to have gone back to normal. Yet I can't help but wonder at their maturity levels that seems to easily dismiss friends.
    Maybe you got under his skin somehow?

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