life is existence ...
in life, existence is an experience which can be reduced to a bearable bandwidth, most of the time
pure existence frightens me
it is something that is forced upon me, since there is no alternative, since it is nondual
life is an incoming rape
it is alienation, since i intuit existence to be Noself, i perceive it as other
but that is only half of life
the other half is outgoing creativity. structure building.
and creativity is a gift.
because it interrupts the rape
or at the very least, it's a medi-tation on rape
in creativity the flow of form makes sense
it's a composition, not a .... for lack of proper english translation .... not a japanese noise track
life in forms, in structure is total dependence. and thus powerlessness.
what i just said is twisted, subjective, it's sort of what the enneagramm is about, my core-misinterpretation of reality. it's supposed to be incorrect (from a spiritual/objective nondual point of view), if it wasn't incorrect it wouldn't be honest - or i would be the buddha.