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  • high-stress acheiver

    5 45.45%
  • comfortably mediocre

    6 54.55%
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  1. #1
    Senior Member Sanctus Iacobus's Avatar
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    Default high-stress achievement vs. comfortable moderation

    I would like to challenge the common notion that one of these is better than the other. I've had my share of achievements and if anything it has left me off worse, lacking motivation and impression, and apathetic. There are others who (and I am not comparing myself except with the response in feeling towards life) after reaching the top of their field enter a state of carelessness and burn-out. These people eventually become the "washed up" and "has been".

    Unfortunately for me, I am a mere 24 years of age and this leaves me a lot of time until retirement to decide what to "do" with my life. I will very likely start my own business and a family, but it makes me wonder if this human notion that life is all about achievement is actually valid. Part of me thinks life would be easier if I settled into comfortable mediocrity, lived for my own enjoyment, whatever, and part of me wonders if that in itself isn't a form of searching that I'd regret years down the road.

    So my question to you all is this, which do you prefer? Are you an A-type personality, notorious over-achiever, essentially a high functioning yet likely to be high-stress individual, or are you the type of person who excells at finding contentment with your living situation and focusing on other, less strenuous values?

    Why do you prefer one way over the other? Let's compare our philosophies on life and learn from one another.

  2. #2
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Default

    Personally I wouldn't feel good about myself by being mediocre on long term, so a certain level of stress is much preferable.
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  3. #3
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
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    Right now I'm living a mostly comfortable and mostly mediocre life. I often wish I was one of those more driven high achievement types. I feel like I haven't done much with my life. I'm not very tolerant of high-stress environments- for me, I'm not so sure the accomplishments would be worth it.
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  4. #4
    Post Human Post Qlip's Avatar
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    Well, I know you mean well, jwn86, but your OP is kind of obnoxious. Mostly because you're pegging anybody who isn't trying to achieve a very narrowly defined version of success as 'mediocrity'. But you are searching, so kudo points for you. If you had to ask me, me feeling your vibe, it is quite possible that you will easily be a high achiever when it comes to anything involving status and trophy like achievements.

    If I were you, I'd follow your instincts. It's obvious there is more out there outside of your experience that you want to explore. Go do it, don't label what you're doing as 'mediocrity'. There is nothing mediocre about finding yourself.

  5. #5
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    I interpreted your description as an absolute dichotomy between living for others vs living for yourself. Assuming that's true, neither one of those in absolute form appeals to me. I prefer a mixture or balance of the two catered to my specific desires/needs. Of course this is difficult to achieve because of factors that are out of my control (like people) but I sure will die trying.

    For instance, I have a need to keep busy but not with stressful things. So that will lead me to a profession that is not high-stress and at times boring/monotonous. I am okay with this trade off, because I know myself and having a high-stress job will negatively effect every other aspect of my life.

    I also want a family but not a stressful one. This brings pleasure to me along with fulfilling hobbies, where I can challenge myself.

    As far as achievements go, I am happy with myself and I admire people who do really great things for their country, the world, and/or with their life. I love to be around these people (so long as they welcome me and are not jerks) and marinate in their energy. I am their support and this does not make me feel any regret.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Sanctus Iacobus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qlip View Post
    Well, I know you mean well, jwn86, but your OP is kind of obnoxious. Mostly because you're pegging anybody who isn't trying to achieve a very narrowly defined version of success as 'mediocrity'. But you are searching, so kudo points for you. If you had to ask me, me feeling your vibe, it is quite possible that you will easily be a high achiever when it comes to anything involving status and trophy like achievements.

    If I were you, I'd follow your instincts. It's obvious there is more out there outside of your experience that you want to explore. Go do it, don't label what you're doing as 'mediocrity'. There is nothing mediocre about finding yourself.
    No I would not say this. Mediocrity is not an attractive word but I am not one who thinks about appearances much. I think a word you would like better would be "moderate", which is what I mean here.

    And I am not really talking about trophies or some sort of external display of acheivement. I mean personal acheivement. Constantly striving and challenging oneself, vs. enjoying your life as it is, and purposefully choosing thing which do not present a challenge (by definition this would require that person to take a risk, change, adapt, stretch, etc)

    I guess the reason I ask is because for most of my life I was the first type of person, who always pressed for more. But I feel very very burnt out from that. So burnt out, in fact, that I don't even know if I could get back into that lifestyle. Despite that, I plan to have a life which will be challenging, not because I feel like a challenge but for other reasons which are personal. I really have to wonder if it's for my best, though.

    Does this dichotemy make sense? I guess it's staying vs. going for more. You can see it on game shows like "who wants to be a millionaire" where a person has an option to accept what they have (comfortably mediocre/moderate) or try and gain more (risky acheivement). There are different ways to look at it... some could say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, and it's just being greedy. You could also say if you can do something but don't, you're just lazy, however a person can live a very unbalanced lifestyle from this, never allowing themself to rest or whatever.

  7. #7
    royal member Rasofy's Avatar
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    Perhaps if you replace mediocre by average you can still avoid a Fi riot. But that would ruin the fun!
    -----------------

    A man builds. A parasite asks 'Where is my share?'
    A man creates. A parasite says, 'What will the neighbors think?'
    A man invents. A parasite says, 'Watch out, or you might tread on the toes of God... '


    -----------------

  8. #8
    Senior Member Sanctus Iacobus's Avatar
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    Default

    My thinking exactly... but I will change it, I find the Fi people to be especially blunt and I need their input.

    edit:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/...ble-lives.html

    I think Giggly may be right on this one... a balance is required. See here how people who don't have a balance strike one in a secret life of comfort.

  9. #9
    this is my winter song EJCC's Avatar
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    I've always been a high-stress achiever. But I've only just recently started to really appreciate that about myself. And that happened when I realized that

    1) When I live in a comfortably mediocre fashion, I feel like I'm in limbo, and am completely dissatisfied with my existence;
    2) I'm happier when I have a lot to do; and
    3) The payoff is better when you work your ass off for it.

    That's my motivation Discounting my Enneagram, anyway. I wonder if comfortable mediocrity can ever happily exist in Ones?
    ~ g e t f e s t i v e ! ~


    EJCC: "The Big Questions in my life right now: 1) What am I willing to live with? 2) What do I have to live with? 3) What can I change for the better?"
    Coriolis: "Is that the ESTJ Serenity Prayer?"



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  10. #10
    Senior Member Sanctus Iacobus's Avatar
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    Default

    EJCC, do you think your being set to perform (and not feeling right if you dont) was something you were born with, or was that a value instilled in you during your upbringing? or developed later in life?

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