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  • high-stress acheiver

    5 45.45%
  • comfortably mediocre

    6 54.55%
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  1. #21
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    I'd look at it this way... If you were going to die tomorrow.. (serious -- I'm totally serious here) .. would you feel jipped? What are the very most important things you would feel like you should have done? The greatest achievement in life (imo ofcourse) is to figure out what truly is and is not you. What is the truest, purest reflection of self you can find? Hint: I do not think it will have anything to do with social status, symbols, or any other surface goody.

    Like for me, I have all kinds of goals. I want to finish my degree, I wan't to help people, I want to produce more artistic works, I wan't to travel.. on and on. But If I died tomorrow.. I would not be upset about those things.. but I would be upset that I have not had a child yet. I feel that the experience of creating a life, directing and nurturing it, will very well be one of the greatest forms of growth I ever experience. This is my own personal ideal ofcourse. So I would feel extremely jipped if tomorrow I died and did not have the opportunity to do this.

    I don't think that you have to have Fi to do some soul searching (obviously) but I do think you have to really self refelct, look inward to understand what is YOU, and not your reaction to the external, or some kind of functioning within the system. What your OP sounds like to me.. is that your not really sure who YOU is... (in no way intended harshly).

    Oh ya.. and the reason I steered clear of achievement vs mediocrity is because that is so entirely in the eye of the beholder. You must realize this.
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  2. #22
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    You don't necessarily need high-stress in order to achieve something good (I'm saying good because I don't believe everyone has potential for high-achievment in most realms) - you do need to extert effort, but high amounts of stress can often be detrimental both to mental and physical performances. I hate to make the usual cycling reference, but top athlethes often crumble due to psychological stress and an outsider (or someone that wasn't the top 1 favorite) wins.

    I know what you mean with your OP though, often times when you want to reach a certain objective, the journey feels better than the moment you manage to achieve what you set your mind to, and afterwards you might feel a lack of purpose. I haven't found a way around that, except diversifying your goals i.e. a work goal, a sports goal, etc etc so there's always something you can pay attention to, in order not to feel lackadaisical.

    And I am not really talking about trophies or some sort of external display of acheivement. I mean personal acheivement. Constantly striving and challenging oneself, vs. enjoying your life as it is, and purposefully choosing thing which do not present a challenge (by definition this would require that person to take a risk, change, adapt, stretch, etc)
    The process of obtaining certain personal goals can actually be enjoyable...I believe you should try to enjoy the moment more, perhaps? Not that I'm great at it myself, but it can help.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  3. #23
    Senior Member Sanctus Iacobus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    The greatest achievement in life (imo ofcourse) is to figure out what truly is and is not you. What is the truest, purest reflection of self you can find? Hint: I do not think it will have anything to do with social status, symbols, or any other surface goody.
    That's a good point. The purest reflection of myself I can find is what Jesus says about me, because Jesus would never lie. I never thought to ask Jesus about that, though. I think I'm afraid of what He would say about the true me, but I also think there would be a freedom, which would be a great achievement, no?

    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    Oh ya.. and the reason I steered clear of achievement vs mediocrity is because that is so entirely in the eye of the beholder. You must realize this.
    True enough... what would I regret, though. I suppose the reason I even ask this question is because I know I'm going to die. It's not a "what if you died tomorrow" for me. I figure, why not tomorrow? why not 60 years? It's inevitable, and this is what is making me ask the hardline question, what's in, what's out.

    First off, I have to include things which allow me to live longer, because that's kind of like asking for more wishes except those wishes are opportunities.

    After that, I think the question is, what's going to last after I die? All of my personal experiences will be gone, I think. What I do know for sure is that I'm going to die, my life is but a wisp... so I want whatever I do to count beyond that if at all possible.

    The thing which I am probably stuck on is everyone else. I don't think many people think about the fact that their death is inevitability. i.e., beyond mentally knowing that, to consider that one day, "today" will actually be my last day here. So if everyone else is going to die, I have to ask what matters beyond the common goals of society. Society says this is important, that is important... well society is gonna die too. So anything like "leaving a legacy" doesn't really matter either, because the people who will remember my legacy will also die.


    I appreciate your enfpness, I think hashing this out has helped me understand better for myself.

  4. #24
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    Okay, like for example, I like writing, so I am happy I am writing. I am happy I am in control of my own life, that I am not a slave to some corporation or university. I am happy I have friends. I am happy if I have a boy(s) to love. I am happy if I can love people and be around cats. I am happy I am in southern California. I am happy to be in touch with the outdoors and the earth.

    Those are my values. Do I have a mansion? No. Do I have a 401K? No. But if I died tomorrow the only reason I'd be bummed is if I didn't die in the arms of a man I loved, preferably having had sex the night before (true story).

    Achievement is what you make it. I feel like I still definitely have room for improvement...I could stand to get married, be a homeowner, and publish an actual book. But I've lived my life in such a manner that *if* I died tomorrow I know I would have lived my life the way I wanted to, achieiving what was important to me, and surrounding myself with what I value.

    It's like game theory. You will sensibly do whatever it is that profits *you* in the long run...whether that means more money, or more leisure time.

  5. #25
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    the idea that these are the only 2 alternatives is unbelievably foolish. both are required to be truly happy. if you are heavily stressed from your success, it means that you are either working for someone else's agenda, doing something that you don't enjoy or making horrible financial/professional decisions. the most successful people are happy, comfortable and have plenty of time to do what they want. do what you want, get what you want, be who you want and don't compromise
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  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by jwn86 View Post
    Even if you put a spectrum between the two, there would be a halfway point and you'd fall more towards one or the other.
    good point.

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    am i in my cabin, dreaming,
    or are they really scheming,
    to take my ship away from meeeee-eee-eee-eeeeeee?
    Lovely poem.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    A balance of both. Don't be so mediocre that you never go anywhere, do anything, or see anybody, but don't be such a high-stress achiever that you're acting like a f-ing rat on a wheel.
    +1

  7. #27
    The Eighth Colour Octarine's Avatar
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    There is a lot more to the choice of occupation (of your time and skills) than is being discussed.
    There is a difference between being motivated by a goal (or awards etc), than being motivated because you enjoy the work.

    Overachieving, when used in a negative sense tends to imply either workaholic-ism, obsessive-compulsive, perfectionism etc. But it is in principle possible to do high quality work without these vices or extra stress, provided you choose the right challenges and don't over-work yourself. The problem is of course that our choice of challenges is limited by the available job market. Certain job environments encourage certain types of performances.

  8. #28
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Lovely poem.
    it's actually a wonderful song!





    still haven't voted. can i choose comfortable achievement?

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