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Thread: The Unwritten Letters (DEAR...)

  1. #51
    Post Human Post Array Qlip's Avatar
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    Dear L,

    I'm opting to write a semi-public, gut-bearing spectacle before I respond to you for real. The truth is, I've been wanting to write a personal letter for a while, not having anything to do with the kids, just a checkup on where we stand. I couldn't do this without a) patronizingly try to point out how better off we and the kids are now that we're apart b) make strong assumptions about what you're thinking in your silence and respond to those and likely alienate you and c) continue a pattern that gives an illusion of still being together.

    Now it is a year later, and you're writing me a 'now it's a year later' letter. What I need to do in responding to you is to focus on the entire message, and take the little asides in stride. In typical form it is the first I've heard from you on the emotional level in a long time communicating something to me in the form of a listing of every bad thing you feel about our situation just to ask me to focus on doing something that's important to you and feeling guilty about it. Something that I needed a kick in the pants for anyway.

    I have a lot of trouble with our relationship whenever I feel pressured to put it a 'normal' box. On one hand, we are over, and I no longer need to feel responsible for your feelings. On the other hand, you need to be emotionally healthy for our kids. On top of that, I am very fond of you, my feelings for you haven't changed; our togetherness was always more platonic than anything else. But, I'm sure that if and when you see that and if I act as if I feel around you, it'll hurt you more.

    You are tired of living with your parents and not having anything of your own and still feeling dependent on me. I understand that. Part of the problem is that you are sacrificing to be able to homeschool the kids. Even though this is what you really want, and means would still be difficult if you got a teaching position instead, I still know it is a type of sacrifice. By law you own half of everything we've done together and I wish you understood that instead of feeling like you're taking handouts.

    I can think of ways to fix this, the obvious start is to redouble efforts to get the house sold, there will only be a mortgage payment to be gained from it. But, that is keeping us both from being able to move ahead. And there are even more drastic ways of giving you what you need, a house. I am considering them. I just need to make sure that I'm not taking too deep a cut from my future.

  2. #52

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    Dear Dad,

    Calling me "retarded" for accidentally mistyping antidisestablishmentarianism and then turning around and using "your" when the correct terminology is "you're" in a sentence is a bit hypocritical, don't you think?

    Sincerely, go back to kindergarten and learn common sense.

    (sorry, it's just a huge pet peeve of mine to see people use words like those incorrectly)
    Those who pursue truth must not be arrogant. Just because it can't be proven scientifically, you must not laugh at miracles. You must not deny your eyes the beauty of this world.

  3. #53
    Lungs & Lips Locked Array Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Dear A,

    I wish I were brave enough to tell you how I still feel. It's become unspoken between us. I long for the days of my own boldness, the days where I knew that silencing it was deafening, and speaking it was the way straight through the heart of it.
    I keep waiting for a time when I'll see you, because it has to be at its realest point. It has to be where I don't think you can run from it and escape within yourself. I keep hesitating, because I'm not sure if you're ready to let yourself see me regardless of your enthusiasm at the prospect.

    When I swim deeper into your thoughts, either directly or indirectly, I begin to drown in how limiting it can feel. You tear at the core of me, where no one else can touch, and I doubt you're even truly aware anymore.
    It has to be said. It all has to be said, before it only lingers in the air where it will dwindle to a faint and questionable whisper in the ears of strangers and the void.
    No expectation. Just love.

    Always,
    L
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  4. #54
    Lungs & Lips Locked Array Unkindloving's Avatar
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    Dear A,

    It takes so little for you to strike the greatest chord straight through to my core. I recognize this constantly, yet I am always surprised by your ability to affect me so deeply. You just being is enough to crumble all of the walls any other would struggle to conquer.
    I feel very real when I feel for you.

    Always,
    L
    Hang on traveling woman - Don't sacrifice your plan
    Cause it will come back to you - Before you lose it on the man


    .:: DWTWD ::.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    2011 TypeC Exercise Challenge - My Weekly Goals: Cardio 4x. Yoga/Pilates 1x. Pushups 70.

    There is this thing keeping everyone's lungs and lips locked - It is called fear and it's seeing a great renaissance

  5. #55
    Not Your Therapist Array Sinmara's Avatar
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    Dear Mom and Dad,

    Thanks for boinking.

    Alive,
    Me
    Never wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.



  6. #56
    Writing... Array Tamske's Avatar
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    Dear Headmaster,

    Despite my enthousiasm at the job interview, I'm actually scared as hell. Even that two weeks of awesome teaching experience at ThatSchool didn't cure my bad experience at OtherSchool. You told me about your take on discipline and I'm fairly sure that it's a very good one, that it will prevent disasters such as I had at OtherSchool. YourSchool is also near my house, so I can come by bike and don't have to stress while in traffic. I'm also happy it's only part-time. I'm fairly sure that I won't break down from exhaustion like in OtherSchool. I was pregnant then, now I've got a baby; and I guess these situations are comparable in strain on my body and mind.
    Don't get me wrong. I want to teach. I don't want to stay at home. I'm looking forward to teaching. But at the same time, I'm scared. I'm terribly afraid I will break down again and get sick every time I have to go to class.
    Please don't pity me. Just tell me I'm going to do fine. And tell me where the classrooms are, which calculator is used by the students, whether I'll have a blackboard, a projector or (horror) only a whiteboard. I want to focus on those details.

    Tamske
    Got questions? Ask an ENTP!
    I'm female. I just can't draw women

  7. #57
    Starcrossed Seafarer Array Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Dear member,

    Wow, you really are clueless!

    A
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
    TypeC: Adventures of an Introvert
    Wordpress: http://introvertadventures.wordpress.com/

  8. #58
    Wurstverkäufer Array entropie's Avatar
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    Dear my past self,

    dont worry; it will all fall in place; like it always does.
    Lost Frequencies - All or Nothing

    "People do not like you to be different. If ever in your life you act differently from others, you will find it so, mademoiselle."
    ~Saint's Progress by John Galsworthy

  9. #59
    Twerking & Lurking Array ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    Dear E---,
    You should know that I got so much satisfaction when I told you that you'd never have me.

    Sincerely,
    Don't cheat, dumb ass.

    Dear J-----
    I'm sorry I ran away.

    Sincerely,
    Just finding out how insecure she is about intimacy.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  10. #60
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Array Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Dear Dr. S.,

    I'm not typically a gloater, but I do very much take pleasure in succeeding where I have been refused aid and/or told that I would fail, when all the while I knew I was on the right track.

    The way that you treated both me and my therapist with barely any knowledge of either us was not only unprofessional but mean-spirited; and the excuse you used to avoid helping me, you didn't even follow up on. It was just one more hollow reason to tout your own superiority. Meanwhile, being grilled by you in front of impressionable interns was one of the worst experiences of my life, but I faced it with grace and honesty; and in the end this ended up garnering for me the help I needed... while finding myself in a position of no longer needing you.

    In the end, I was right and I succeeded, strongly... whereas you were horribly wrong. I would hope that would educate you enough that you would not perform against others the harm you tried to perform against me, in the name of psychological treatment. I doubt it, but I can always hope.

    Sincerely,
    J
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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