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  1. #1
    Senior Member Sanctus Iacobus's Avatar
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    Default Grumpy Man Gripes

    I have no problem admitting it, I'm a grumpy person. It's something about myself I want to change, but I'm pretty fed up with everyone expecting me to change and not being willing to change anything themselves, which is probably why I'm grumpy in the first place.

    So I've made this thread to give a place for myself and fellow men to gripe about things we don't like and get it out of our system.


    First off, I hate apartments. I'm a very territorial person and something about not having my own space makes me grouchy. I want a house. I just went over to a house to dogsit and it was amazing. It was a nice house, nothing fancy but kind of like those long-houses with very open interiors. Yeah, I want a house like that. Something with a bunch of grass in the back that really serves no purpose except to put space between me and the rest of the world.

    I hate pets. Big dogs and cats are okay, but little dogs are so annoying I want to find one of those step-open trash cans and throw them inside. Basically I hate noisy pets. Who owns a bird? I don't understand. I've owned quite a few pets in my life and I no longer understand why anyone wants to own one. Who needs that kind of unnecessary responsibility?

    Why do women always want to talk. Why are they always asking me how I'm feeling. I don't feel like anything, okay. Wait, I take that back. I feel like going out and having a big steak dinner and seeing a movie. I feel like waking up early and pumping weights and doing impressive exercises like backwards pull-ups. I feel like shooting guns and then going home for a nap. That's how I feel. I can tell you one thing I sure don't feel like: having an aimless conversation about why I'm such a grouch and my emotions. It's not because I'm a loner or don't enjoy being around people, it's because these kind of things are literally the reason why we'd be talking about my emotions in the first place, so it's a little counter-productive.

    I hate cell phones and email. I used to work at a cell phone company and everyone is expected to have their blackberry with them 24/7. I think I'm so burnt-out from being reachable at all locations of the planet at every hour of every day that I'll become Amish. We make fun of the Amish but I think they've got it figured out. Who needs electrical bills when you have candles and fires to keep warm. Fires are awesome and smell nice as well. Basically I hate advances in technology which are meant to add convenience but end up becoming abusive and cumbersome. Leave me alone.

    I hate chairs and I hate sitting in them. They're never comfortable for people of my size. I once spent $3400 on the best chair available to mankind and even that chair got uncomfortable. I probably have a bad back from sitting so long in chairs. Screw it, I'm just gonna stand.

    People. I care for people and enjoy their company but I think they're just too emotional for me sometimes. Why are people attracted to confidence? No, that's a rhetorical question, I know why, but I'm asking why. Confidence is what happens when more than one stupid person agrees in their stupidity. Don't throw some cliche like "confident, but not arrogant" at me. Confidence is a feeling of certainty, and certainty is a matter of fact, and the fact is something is either factually so or it isn't. What good is the feeling? Like just now, I got dropped off at this apartment and I say, the door's locked I need the key. "It's not locked, Jake. I'm sure 200%." Everyone says stuff like this and it drives me crazy, because I know they're wrong and I've never in my short life figured out what makes someone think they know something "for sure" which is "for sure" not that way. Sure enough the doors locked. It's a good thing I had them stick around.

    I guess I don't mind people as much as the fact that we do need each other. Gee whiz, though, it sure seems like people need me more than I need them. So when all your needs are taken care of do me a favor and leave me alone for a while. I need my space people. That's why I'm writing this here, cause I don't have to be around any of you while you read this. Man! No wonder I'm so grumpy.

    I hate doing things which will just have to be re-done with 1 to 7 days, like making the bed. My outrage is exacerbated by the number of decorative frilly pillows. Doing laundry is also annoying, I'd rather just pull it right out of the dryer. Too bad I cant because I don't have a washer/dryer, because I live in an apartment. The same goes for doing dishes, as I don't have a dishwasher either. For some reason Canadians don't use dishwashers. Another reason I might as well be Amish. They probably just eat their food right off the bone while sitting around a warm fire. Now doesn't that sound nice?

    Paying taxes. I know some economy minor is going to get on my case about this but I think society would be better if we let the roads go to rot and all drove off-road vehicles. So many people drive SUVs already anyways, I don't even know why. I think it's because they look cooler than minivans. Maybe it boosts their confidence.

    I already feel better saying all that. Thanks for the gripe session, TypoC.

  2. #2
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    STFU
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  3. #3
    A window to the soul
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    Are women and Q&A allowed?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Sanctus Iacobus's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    STFU
    At first I was going to tell you to go away, but on second thought this is a form of complaining and is welcome here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nerd Girl View Post
    Are women and Q&A allowed?
    Yes. No questions about feelings though.

  5. #5
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by jwn86 View Post
    Yes. No questions about feelings though.
    There's no need to. Looks like you wrote the book.

  6. #6
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jwn86 View Post
    I hate chairs and I hate sitting in them. They're never comfortable for people of my size. I once spent $3400 on the best chair available to mankind and even that chair got uncomfortable. I probably have a bad back from sitting so long in chairs. Screw it, I'm just gonna stand. [...]

    I hate doing things which will just have to be re-done with 1 to 7 days, like making the bed. My outrage is exacerbated by the number of decorative frilly pillows. Doing laundry is also annoying, I'd rather just pull it right out of the dryer.


    i also hate these things.

    i never liked chairs, they always seemed awkward to me. if it's not overwhelmingly inappropriate, i just sit on the floor instead. then people get scandalized and tell me about how my back is going to hurt and "aren't i uncomfortable" and "oh here honey let me get you a chair", actually in a chair you can sit in ONE position and on the floor i can shift around as much as i want but thanks.

    and making the bed... just ugh... i do a sort of sloppy fix version, it looks decent but not perfect... and putting things on hangers... ugh...

  7. #7
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    Hell is other people.

    Sometimes posts is waste of webspace.
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-

  8. #8
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Well, it certainly sounds like you're the ideal candidate to dogsit.

    I agree with you about apartments. They suck. Living in NYC was hell for me. It felt like the whole city was one big, crappy apartment complex. No space of your own, everyone in your face 24/7. Eternally waiting for something to get fixed.
    Something Witty

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