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  1. #131
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    Just thought of this one: "I'm a lesbian trapped in a man's body".

    First of all, it doesn't even make sense. If you were a lesbian, you'd be a woman; and a man attracted to women is a straight man.

    But that's just semantics. What really bothers me about it is that it's crude and not funny. You can get away with being crude as long as you're funny...and I frequently do. But this phrase is aggressively unfunny. All it means is "Hey lesbian girl, if you ever want to come around and get yourself some tube steak, you know who to call!"
    for the last line.

    I have to say though, it was pretty funny to see pics of Jello Biafra wearing his 'Lesbian' t-shirt.

    My straight male friend is super duper E (he's a performer) and used to always crack inappropriate jokes and went to a former women's college, so his female friend bought him a shirt that said, 'Feminists Chick Dig Me'

    He would always go, "Yeahhh, we're going to a lesbian club tonight! I'm gonna meet hot lesbians! Whoot!' and generally be obnoxious like that (it's part of his charm). But about 2 hours before we're supposed to go an actual "lesbian club" he gets all deflated and goes, 'Can we go somewhere else?' And I was surprised so I asked him wasn't he all excited about going? And he said, "No, they're all lesbians. There's not point in me being there and it's not gonna be any fun." Ahhh, smart boy after all.

    BTW...did I share this story already? I could've sworn I mentioned all this before...
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  2. #132
    Member MadamI'madaM's Avatar
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    "I h8 drama"

    "everything happens 4 a reason"

    also, let's thank myspace for sinking the already depreciated "amazing" to an even lower fraction of an American penny
    innit?

  3. #133
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    'Feminist Chicks Dig Me'
    I soo want that t-shirt!!
    (Have a sister who was always very womens lib. It'd be fantastic )
    He would always go, "Yeahhh, we're going to a lesbian club tonight! I'm gonna meet hot lesbians! Whoot!' and generally be obnoxious like that (it's part of his charm). But about 2 hours before we're supposed to go an actual "lesbian club" he gets all deflated and goes, 'Can we go somewhere else?' And I was surprised so I asked him wasn't he all excited about going? And he said, "No, they're all lesbians. There's not point in me being there and it's not gonna be any fun." Ahhh, smart boy after all.

    BTW...did I share this story already? I could've sworn I mentioned all this before...
    Never heard that one before myself (or if I have I've forgotten it). REminds me of a house mate of mine. He'd go for lesbians twice as hard as other girls with the theory of converting them or some such... Needless to say the guy never really suffered with a low opinion of himself
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  4. #134
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    Maybe it is the J in me but I hate these words and phrases,

    probably
    maybe
    I guess
    You'll just have to wait and see
    To be continued

    all of them are torturous!!!!
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
    Play and Vote July 14th to Aug 14th
    http://www.appsforhealthykids.com/ap...ing-vegetables

  5. #135
    Order Now! pure_mercury's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    for the last line.

    I have to say though, it was pretty funny to see pics of Jello Biafra wearing his 'Lesbian' t-shirt.

    My straight male friend is super duper E (he's a performer) and used to always crack inappropriate jokes and went to a former women's college, so his female friend bought him a shirt that said, 'Feminists Chick Dig Me'

    He would always go, "Yeahhh, we're going to a lesbian club tonight! I'm gonna meet hot lesbians! Whoot!' and generally be obnoxious like that (it's part of his charm). But about 2 hours before we're supposed to go an actual "lesbian club" he gets all deflated and goes, 'Can we go somewhere else?' And I was surprised so I asked him wasn't he all excited about going? And he said, "No, they're all lesbians. There's not point in me being there and it's not gonna be any fun." Ahhh, smart boy after all.

    BTW...did I share this story already? I could've sworn I mentioned all this before...
    They are not ALL lesbians at the gay bar. I've been to them with lesbians, straight girls, gay guy, staight guy friends. I know a guy who has had straight sex at a gay bar, actually.
    Who wants to try a bottle of merc's "Extroversion Olive Oil?"

  6. #136
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pure_mercury View Post
    They are not ALL lesbians at the gay bar. I've been to them with lesbians, straight girls, gay guy, staight guy friends. I know a guy who has had straight sex at a gay bar, actually.
    Or so he says

    Hahaha, no I get what you're saying which leads me to --

    Shhhhhh don't tell and make it harder for me to score!!!! Hahahahahaa. introduce more unknown elements into my carefully controlled homosexual environment. (Who'm I kidding, I'm not a J)

    My female friends and I have been hit on by biomen both at dyke nights and at gay men's bars, and yes, they knew we were biofemale. Then again, my trans female friend has been hit on by (straight?) men even though their friends yell at them , "Dude, what are you doing? That's a guy!" I kid you not when sometimes people grind on the floor and feel up their dance partners' packages (as in literally between their legs) to figure out what they're working with. I guess my only explanation for this is...the freaks come out at night?

    Nah, seriously though I agree with you. All sorts do come out, but I think straight guys score better at ladies nights' than ladies. I'm serious.

    I remember this one guy took a picture (without asking) of me and my friend dancing..well actually of me (my friend was in the shot I thin too) and when I spoke to him about it, he thought I was hitting on him. Turns out later, there were girls at the club giving him and his other straight male friend their number. My friend totally razzed me about "looking straight" after this btw. And at some not explicitly gay venues the crowd is so divey/ bohemian/ fringey/ artsy/ subaltern that you really can't assume what orientation anyone else is. (OMG, I could tell you stories LOLZ)

    Anecdote: my friend saw an interesting girl at a 'ladies night' and started chatting her up. Halfway through the conversation as my friend was warming up to her, the girl goes, "And by the way, I'm straight. I'm just here with friends"

    My friends reaction? "You bitch."

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    :yim_rolling_on_the_

    And no, she didn't say that out loud but it probably came through in her actions. It is HARD for a lady find sapphic love, even in bigger cities. My friend was feeling frustrated at the lack of viable dating prospects she seemed to have.
    “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.” ― Oscar Wilde

    "I'm outtie 5000" ― Romulux

    Johari/Nohari

  7. #137
    perdu fleur par bologne Martoon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    probably
    maybe
    I guess
    You'll just have to wait and see
    To be continued
    <* drag selects, ctrl-C for the "favorite phrases" thread *>

    (flaming INTP here )
    I'm not a procrastinator. I'm a long-term planner.

  8. #138
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    Maybe it is the J in me but I hate these words and phrases,

    probably
    maybe
    I guess
    You'll just have to wait and see
    To be continued

    all of them are torturous!!!!
    I'm impatient too. I need to know now! OKAY?
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  9. #139
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    When people use "real" to describe the degree to which something is something.

    For example: "This book is real good."

  10. #140
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Martoon View Post
    <* drag selects, ctrl-C for the "favorite phrases" thread *>

    (flaming INTP here )
    Fo realz, yo. I think I'd last about 10 minutes in a relationship with a J. So. Much. Pressure.

    Not that y'all aren't all lovely, Js.

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