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  1. #1
    Senior Member guesswho's Avatar
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    Default The issues of fatherlessness.

    They say kids who grow up without their fathers become "stronger" because they have to put up with life's bullshit much earlier.

    Of course, the people who say this didn't actually grow up without a father.

    Anyone wanna share some stories or something?

    What do you guys think?

  2. #2
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    im a bastard and dunno really. its kinda hard to say if it made me stronger, but i dont really feel like i had to go through any sort of bullshit because of that. or maybe im just so strong that i dont even recognize bullshit when it hits my face
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  3. #3
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    My father was apparently a drunk and some sort of drug fuck.
    My mother was determined for me to succeed, so she moved as quick as possible - so I wouldn't follow down the road of all of my other family.

    Anyway, moved to a caravan park for a year.
    I was an absolute FUCK UP then, smoked and rode my bmx all day.
    Life seemed fun, home was so boring.

    Then I moved into housing, after finally being put on the top ofthe pile, cause my little brother was diagnosed with aspergers.
    Started settling down, didn't go out very much as no one lived in Bli Bli.

    THEN, we got a computer.
    Been pretty isolated after school ever since, that was 6 years ago.

    With my father, I believe him not caring about anything would've let me wreak havoc.
    I believe the environment determines the behavior.
    And being in a new environment has let me succeed in school, get good friends and stop me from being a fuck-up.

    I'm really glad I did, my group of friends is about 15 people.
    The more closer is 2 groups of 3.

    So I've really excelled without my father.

    I don't really understand what a father would do to get retain the "shit" from you, how a father would make you stronger?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Chloe's Avatar
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    My dad was obsessed with war that waa going on during my childhood. He was very nacionalistic and completely involved in war and propaganda about it, and in his craziness neglected our family, abandoned us and get us into financial troubles because he was donating money and selling our stuff to buy and donate weapon for country.
    He was completely irresponsible and when all that drama about the war ended he got cancer and died. Since he was douche my sister for example didnt give a fuck about his dying but I was more considerate so I was pretty much only person who payed attention to him while he was dying....
    to picture how crazy he was is enough to say that when his own mother died he put in news paper obituary all over one page where he mentioned president of our country, and many other "hystorical" people..... all written in a style of Dante's Divine Comedy

    All in all, he was very troubled man who should have get his shit together before having children, but that rarely happens, as we know

    i have no idea how it influenced me, i cant imagine having father-daughter relationship

  5. #5
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    @Chloé
    I feel sorry for you, if I were in your position, I'd rather how no father.
    It's actually not that bad

  6. #6
    Senior Member ceecee's Avatar
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    I don't think the presence and involvement of a father can really be overstated. That means fathers who are present and fathers who are involved and actually have an interest is how they and everything they do impact their children. Frankly, if I hear one more father give me another excuse as to why they can't instead of how they can for their children, I'm picking up a brick and smashing their face in. I don't care about your relationship with their mother. I don't care how confused you are or how hard life is or how no one understands. Suck it the fuck up and father your children.
    I like to rock n' roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands... I can only rock from like 1-3.

  7. #7
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    Mine drank himself to death when I was six. And it's taken me many years to be able to put the anger aside.

    As far as being stronger... Perhaps, if one counts dealing with intense stress and pain early in life, and not letting it completely incapacitate you.

    But the environment you grow up in, and support from family, is what keeps your grounded, and helps you deal with things constructively when young. Didn't have that.

    If I've become stronger, it's because I have been through much on my own, and have learned to take those experiences and apply the lessons learned. It's not always good, nor is it always bad. It just is.

    Stronger can mean many things.

    You can be a strong asshole who everyone hates. Who goes around spewing venom, be it passively, or aggressively, on everyone, and everything, that can't be manipulated by him. Or you can be a strong, kind, person, who helps those he can, but who isn't blind to people who manipulate others for gain. I prefer the second myself

    I still deal with issues sometimes. But I have learned to not let them get in the way of how I live my life anymore. And those lessons I will never forget. I just wish they had been taught in a different way.

  8. #8
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    my dad was around when i was little, but he's an addict which caused him to lose several jobs, his medical license, forced us to move a ton of times when i was a kid. my parents divorced when i was about 9 and i haven't really had a relationship with him since. it's weird because i see a lot of my personality in him, which scares me. he still cares about me and tries to contact me a lot but i just have a hard time communicating with him because of all the shit he's put me and my mom through, and the fact that he hasn't contributed shit to me. i guess some people don't have a dad and i should be more accepting of what i have, but i can't force myself to love someone.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by chana View Post
    my dad was around when i was little, but he's an addict which caused him to lose several jobs, his medical license, forced us to move a ton of times when i was a kid. my parents divorced when i was about 9 and i haven't really had a relationship with him since. it's weird because i see a lot of my personality in him, which scares me. he still cares about me and tries to contact me a lot but i just have a hard time communicating with him because of all the shit he's put me and my mom through, and the fact that he hasn't contributed shit to me. i guess some people don't have a dad and i should be more accepting of what i have, but i can't force myself to love someone.
    Nor should you force it. But if he is determined to be in your life, you should recognize his limitations and issues, and keep awareness of them. To keep yourself from being manipulated.

  10. #10
    Senior Member FunnyDigestion's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chloé View Post
    to picture how crazy he was is enough to say that when his own mother died he put in news paper obituary all over one page where he mentioned president of our country, and many other "hystorical" people..... all written in a style of Dante's Divine Comedy
    HAHAHA I'm sorry, your story is very sad, but this part gives a hilarious picture for me

    What country are you from?

    My father was good, just very strict & rather emotionally stupid.

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