So what's the solution?
Aside from going to dumb sessions of therapy which I've already done and were a complete waste of time and money just so someone could point out the fucking obvious to me.
I haven't found any practical solution to this, and I don't think there is an easy fix or anything.
It's just a crappy emotional baggage that sticks to me. And there's nothing more I'd love than to throw it somewhere in a hole and just bury it.
I guess people are a key factor in this. With the right people all these issues will go away like a bad dream. But with the wrong people these issues will get pretty hard to ignore and the bad dream will become my everyday feeling.
Maybe I'm over analyzing this. As I always do with certain things.
I don't know sometimes it's so easy to figure out how something works, but when you get to changing things...it's when you realize that the hard part has just began.