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  1. #31
    Anew Leaf
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    I don't mind Miss or Ms - I'd take either, honestly, as for me they're far preferable to 'Maam'. Uggh. I suspect Customer Service people have been instructed to use that title for any woman who's obviously no longer just out of college... but I feel so OLD whenever I hear it and I cringe internally.

    So I therefore love it when cust. service people call me 'hon' or something like that instead -- because at least I don't feel like an elderly woman. lol.
    haha, i dated a guy who was from Texas and saying ma'am is ingrained in them from birth. /shudder.

  2. #32
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    haha, i dated a guy who was from Texas and saying ma'am is ingrained in them from birth. /shudder.
    Well that's true..there's definitely a cultural bent to it too.. I know it's much more engrained in the Southern sub-culture. And, it's fine in that sort of situation where I can take the sub-culture into context.

    But it's so weird when I'm leaving, like, a Banana Republic or any sort of general shopping area and the staff say 'Thank you Maam' or 'Can I help you Maam', and I'm like... :Am I that old:? Maybe at this point I am. And I'm in denial feeling younger.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  3. #33
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    I dislike miss and ms. almost equally, although I recognize Ms is more "correct". I dislike the desire/"need" for any meaningless title - Dr, fine, but why bother calling attention to "man" "young woman" "married" etc, especially for trivial encounters?

    I realize that for some people, lack of titles is "rude" for some reason. Still think it's dumb.
    -end of thread-

  4. #34
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I have an extremely common first name. It's not ugly or trendy though, so I can't complain much. I don't have any real issues with it. I suppose it might be nice to have a more unique name, but it's nothing I resent.

    My last name is quite ugly. It's Slavic in origin, but got slaughtered once it arrived in the US, as my German grandparents tried to Americanize it (despite little ability to speak English at the time). It's now a very ugly name, and despite being phonetic, people always pause before they say it, and I can see in their face that they are thinking, "No, it can't possibly be ____". I like to play this "game" called "whose name is worse than mine?" whenever I'm in some setting where I am seeing a lot of last names (ie. a HS graduation I attended recently). I've always taken comfort in the fact that being a woman means I can marry someday & take my husband's name, which has a high chance of being better than mine. I also regret not changing my name back to the original form when I turned 18, as I had planned on growing up. Once you have a paper trail started, it's a pain to change it (and it cost more than I had imagined).
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  5. #35
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    I don't really care much for my name, I mean, Jeremy is certainly a nice name with the meaning of 'exalted one' behind it, but considering the sheer amount of people who share such a name, it really doesn't feel all that unique to me. My middle name Brian is boring and common, and my last name, Hubbard is meh. Persoanlly I've always though about changing my name to something truthfully unqiue and meaningful; a name that almost no one else can share with me. Leowulf Jeremy Solberg is such a name that I would one day not only like to go by, but have as my legal name, for the sheer sake of the powerful meaning behind it.

  6. #36
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post

    I ponder at times, too, that it would be weird to not have my last name, though I've given consideration to changing my name to my husband's if I married, for reasons of pair bonding and family consistency. But I honestly wonder if I'd ever feel right not having my last name. It's like an institution to me.
    I feel that way, too. I'd have changed my name without thinking if I'd gotten married at 22 or something, but now, my last name is just as much a part of me and all I've accomplished as my first. It would feel very strange to abandon it. Also, I don't have any brothers, and there's only one male among my cousins with our family name. I kind of want to represent the family, even if I never have kids.

    Quote Originally Posted by CrystalViolet View Post
    Out of curiosity, as a female, do you prefer Miss or Ms (or if you are married, Mrs)? I go by Ms. I feel displeasure when people call me Miss. Nobody calls me Mrs.( What! don't I look married?) I prefer Ms. because it's nobodies business if I'm married or not. I will probably keep my last name if I ever get married. Unless I really like my husband's, but I'd probably double barrel it then, because I know it irrates people
    I hate Miss! I also hate Mrs.! I like Ms. because it truly is none of anyone's business whether I'm married or not (unless someone were hitting on me, and I was married). If I were married, I'd still go by Ms. As a teacher, I go by Ms. Lastname. I think Ms. is a pretty ideal solution. I also don't like the age implications in Miss and Mrs. And there is nothing that makes me cringe faster than getting a wedding invitation addressed to me as "Miss Tallulah Lastname." It simultaneously makes me feel 50 and 12.

    My mom has some cookbooks from women's organizations back in the 1950s and 60s, and the women would share a recipe, and their contribution would be attributed to "Mrs. William Smith." The Mrs. a lot of the time still feels like a trophy title, like you caught yourself a man. It just feels unnecessary in most social situations, to me, and always unnecessary in professional ones.

    Back to the name thing: I have grown to like my name, especially the spelling, but I sometimes feel disconnected from it, and I sometimes wonder if I would think it suits me if I were meeting me. I think it's fun to play the game with friends where you tell each other what you should be named if you didn't have your name. I tend to get Samantha a lot.

    Other random thoughts:

    I actually kind of wish my name was Tallulah, for real.

    I think it's weird someone else gets to pick the name you use the rest of your life, and it's given to you when you have no personality yet.

    I am SO GLAD I don't have a trendy name or a cheerleader name or a stripper name.

    I very often thank my mother for not naming me certain names. Including Meredith, which is her all-time favorite name. I am so not a Meredith.

    If I had gotten a trendy name or a stupidly-spelled name, I would most certainly have legally changed it.

    I don't have an official middle name, since both of my names are used as a first, and I feel like I got ripped off. I want a real middle name.
    Something Witty

  7. #37
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
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    In most parts of the U.S. Ma'am is fairly standard as the female equivalent of Sir. When someone in a public setting doesn't know your name and wants to address you more politely than "hey, you!" these are used. If it sounds weird, or feels old, it's just because women, especially younger ones, may not be used to it. A bank teller wrote to an etiquette column once asking how to address teenage girls coming in to deposit babysitting money. The reply was that any female old enough to do her own banking was old enough to be called "ma'am".
    I've been called a criminal, a terrorist, and a threat to the known universe. But everything you were told is a lie. The truth is, they've taken our freedom, our home, and our future. The time has come for all humanity to take a stand...

  8. #38
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    I think my first name is awesome. Unusual but not bizarre. It lends itself to annoying nicknames, though.
    Lincoln?
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
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  9. #39
    Warflower Nijntje's Avatar
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    It took me a long time to like my name, I've pretty much been called a nickname my whole life, it was only when i was about 25 that i actually started using my 'real' (i.e. full) name. So there is a disconnect there. I like my name, i just hate how it gets butchered by people trying to pronounce it.

    Terrible things happen to good people every day.
    Consequentially, I am not one of the good people.
    I am one of the terrible things.
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  10. #40
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    my name's hana, pronounced like hanukkah or honolulu. i like it better than hannah because it sounds softer and prettier, but i still get called hannah constantly and usually dont correct anyone because i feel like saying 'no it's haaaaah na' all the time would be pretentious and annoying.

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