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  1. #21
    violaine
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    ^Yes! Completely agree. I tried to make this point but you are so much more effective. *tips hat*

  2. #22
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    With "assholes" I mean people who make obvious that they think (and make vocal) that they are something better than some or most other people (and I don't mean regarding some certain ability or skill, if you are the world best chess player and you are so confident that you have to say it also all the time, then you may be a bit on the arrogant side, but that's not what I mean; I mean people who think they as a human being are more worth than other people and consider people who are to them weaker than them as people without value), who treat other people without any respect, who think only about themselves and walk over other peoples bodies for it, figuratively said.

    The use of the thread for me was the question why those people have a large base of followers and get lots of attention, why exactly people feel drawn to them. I know I wouldn't want to hang around with such a person, even if that person would accept me, but apparently there are many people who think differently. There were already a lot of useful answers in that regard. I guess my dilemma in my head is just that I myself don't think so much in terms of materialism and "success" and so cannot understand so easily why people (followers and the original jerk) behave like they behave.

  3. #23
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    They know how to garner attention by NOT conforming/blending in. Some people are attracted to this because they find it to be bold and courageous and exciting. I find it entertaining but only from afar. I feel more at ease and closer to the nicer folks.

  4. #24

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    That doesn't seem true to me at all. Not in the slightest, not even a little bit. The most popular person tends to be the one that is most likeable.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    That doesn't seem true to me at all. Not in the slightest, not even a little bit. The most popular person tends to be the one that is most likeable.
    Yeah, I explained in later post how I meant it better. I guess I put a note on the first post.

  6. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eckhart View Post
    At least that is how it seems to me sometimes. I would guess everyone could name people who are very popular, no matter where you look, be it in your own environment or in TV or in internet or wherever, although they seem to you as an obvious dickhead, and you wonder why anyone can take his/her attitude at all, but they get lots of attention and seem popular.


    edit: Because I apparently was misunderstood frequently: I mean that remarkably big assholes often belong to the more popular people, but I don't mean in reverse that most popular people are assholes.
    I highlighted the bit I thought was important, they get attention, good and bad, and they seem popular, are they really? Or is it just a pretorian guard of assholes waiting for their day on the throne? I'd not trade with them, I've my own experiences from my workplace with individuals who really rode a wave of imagined popularity and leadership, you would not believe how hard those same people crashed when it became apparent to them it was an illusion, I mean a life changingly jarring experience. The social psychological car crash.

  7. #27
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    I agree with the OP and many of the observations. But I see this tendency to be more pervasive with male AHs. Females tend to be drawn, at least superficially to dominant males. Submissive males live vicariously by siding with the AH.

  8. #28
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    confident considerate people are popular
    confident assholes are popular
    passive considerate poeple are not popular
    passive assholes are not popular

    conclusion: you've isolated the wrong variable, how much of an asshole one is has an inconsequential effect on how popular one is
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  9. #29
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    I don't think I have isolated a wrong variable because I ASKED what makes an asshole popular, so I hoped for answers on that. With biggest assholes I mean obviously the most noticeable ones, so that would fit probably in the "confident asshole" area.

    I still wonder why people fall for "confident assholes" just because they are confident in their assholery, but yeah, there have been some answers on that already here.

  10. #30
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eckhart View Post
    I don't think I have isolated a wrong variable because I ASKED what makes an asshole popular, so I hoped for answers on that. With biggest assholes I mean obviously the most noticeable ones, so that would fit probably in the "confident asshole" area.

    I still wonder why people fall for "confident assholes" just because they are confident in their assholery, but yeah, there have been some answers on that already here.
    sorry, I wasn't implying you were being ignorant, but, to go Ti on you for a moment, you question did make the assumption that there was a connection between being an asshole and being popular.
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