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  1. #1
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Default Hugging people goodbye culture thing or just a family thing?

    my dad's side of the family hugs everyone. when you leave you receive a hug from everyone. My mom sort of adopted a post doc and brought her a long to KY and they had only met her 3 days before and everyone hugged her. I don't know if it's a central KY thing or what. as a contrast my room mates family in New England never hugged me, and I don't expect them to either. so I'm wonder if this is a culture thing or just something my family does.
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    i dunno what else to say so

  2. #2
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I think each family has their own culture and so do many other institutions/regions/countries etc. Generally I'd say North American society has become much more informal and huggy over the last 20 years. I'm not generally a person who initiates hugs except for hello or goodbye if I don't see people all the time, or maybe a bit with aunties or nieces/nephews etc. I'd hug my folks every day on the way out of the door for work and vice-versa, and would likely hug relatives if I wasn't going to see them again within a week or two. I don't think that's all that unusual. Interestingly enough, I think my generation is more likely to hug each other and my aunts and uncles than my mum's siblings would be to hug each other. My dad's side of the family, while less close and less warm, tend to be huggers AND kissers though when people arrive and leave. They wouldn't be as likely to keep in touch regularly by phone though or see each other frequently like my mum's family would, even though they live just as close though. Go figure.

    When I go to music related functions and see other teachers/clinicians there, I've found that they all are quite huggy, even those who don't know each other particularly well. I assume a lot of that stems from repeated experiences working together for a week at a time at workshops/camps etc and also because they tend to travel in a lot of the same circles.

    I also know that certain areas of the country are more or less conducive to hugging here. In the States, I would never expect to be hugged by a New Englander simply because I realize that is less likely to be a part of the culture there. I found with my Spanish and French friends that they were quite huggy by comparison to a lot of average Canadians.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    I think each family has their own culture and so do many other institutions/regions/countries etc.
    I'd definitely concur with that.

    I think people have become much more huggy than they once were, although I've known families which are an exception to that rule.

    In my experience in NI, which could be coloured by social class, religion and gender rules, there wasnt the same culture of hugginess or close physical contact or even proximity in the past. Entering into peoples close personal space could be a sign of immanent aggression or physical attraction, I'm a product of that age and dont even try to be that different because I know that my lack of comfortability with the huggy affection norms will be plain to others.

  4. #4
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Hugging is a mixed bag. It is a mixed bag as to which families feel comfortable about it. I think its a good sign of family bonding but other people can also express bonding in other ways. Also when I hang with the more artistic types hugging seems more acceptable. I like hugs and feel generally comfortable giving platonic hugs to both males or females (as long as they don't smell too bad or if it doesn't feel too forced by either party)
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    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    I was just talking to a friend last night about hugging... she had really analyzed all the different hugging scenarios... it was funny.

    It does seem like a family/culture/gender thing. I like hugs, but I might have been corrupted by huggy friends. I used to not like them as a kid. My mom likes hugs, but my dad's not as much of a hugger.

    I sure do loooove huge bear hugs from people I like.
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  6. #6
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gromit View Post
    I sure do loooove huge bear hugs from people I like.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    I think it's a family thing. I'm not big on hugging, and I think my in-laws have finally gotten used to that.... They all used to hug everyone (like a 20 minute process since there are seven siblings, and then some of those siblings have kids too) whenever someone left.... I'm just not into it. Even when it's just me and my husband he'll want a hug and I am always the first to pull away because I'm just not a big hugger. I think I get it from my dad, because my mom gets mad if I don't hug her on my way out the door....and then guilt trips me with the "What if this is the last time we ever see each other..."

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    Its an individual relationship thing with me.
    I am very picky about who gets that close.
    Some variation of physical contact is OK. I don't mind High fives , handshakes (both traditional and "urban" ) hands on my shoulders and so forth.
    Hugs are reserved for special people.

  9. #9

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    It's both yeah? Which is to say that it can be either. Families form tiny cultures.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  10. #10
    Une Femme est une femme paperoceans's Avatar
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    I think it depends on the family... Like, people in my family really do not hug a lot--but people in Miami are very touchy-touchy. Always kissing and hugging each other (kissing on the cheek...). I only hug people goodbye if I really care about them and don't want them to leave! Otherwise, don't expect me to touch you.
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