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  1. #1
    Senior Member Hexis's Avatar
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    Default A Sense of Manhood.

    Let me give you a basic synopsis of my life. I'm 23 years old, currently living in Fort Sill Oklahoma. Im in the army, and have a 3 year old son who lives with his mother in Houston Texas. We are not together.

    Now here's my confusion, I would say that by my peers and all my friends im perceived as a well-rounded and good man. Yet, I don't and hardly ever feel like a "man". Now don't get this confused with being a trans-gender issue, I'm very happy as a male. Rather for some reason or another I don't have the same perception of myself that I've reached manhood as others do of me.

    I often feel like im still a young boy and that I haven't grown up in some sense. Its hard to explain, I'm in no way slow or mentally handicapped. I suppose you could say I feel this way in spirit. It feels as if I haven't accomplished anything in my own opinion to deem myself a man.

    This has been a problem for a few years now, and always I will make some sort of goal to try and reach and think "You know, if I can do this I can call myself a man." But when I reach these goals it always seems like it wasn't enough, that I need to do more. It is often my motivation for doing a lot of things in my life actually, including joining the army.

    Im just curious if others older than me feel this way and learned to accept it or did it just fade with time and accomplishments?

    (I had a lot more I could of said but wanted to keep OP brief.)
    SDMF

  2. #2
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    oh my god... you started the same damned thread as I did, only mine was gender neutral
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #3
    Senior Member Hexis's Avatar
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    lmao I just noticed that myself....If a mod could possibly combine them later that would be perfect imo.
    SDMF

  4. #4
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    definitley... I'd be all for that one!
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #5
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    What do you think makes someone a man? Of equal importance...why is it so important to you that it causes you to make life changing decisions for it?
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  6. #6
    Senior Member Hexis's Avatar
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    Ive been searching for that answer a long time now and plenty of the things that I come up with do describe me but it still doesn't shake that feeling.
    SDMF

  7. #7
    Senior Member Hexis's Avatar
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    Let me put it a little better to try and explain why its so important to me. I only use the word manhood cause its for me an over encompassing term, in general im speaking of feeling accomplished, grown up, and or satisfied with my lot in life.
    SDMF

  8. #8
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    If your 3 years old son asks you, "Daddy, how do I become a man?", how will you respond?

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hexis View Post
    Im just curious if others older than me feel this way and learned to accept it or did it just fade with time and accomplishments?
    It just faded with time and accomplishments.

    At first you don't trust your own experience and accomplishments, because they're yours and you don't really trust yourself. But increasingly you find yourself in the position of mentoring others and showing them what you've learned, and you start to realize that your experience and accomplishments are the real deal. And then you start to realize that you're the real deal.

    To put it another way, you mainly just grow up and get more comfortable in your own skin and in the roles of an adult. Success breeds success. As you succeed at more adult things, you become tempted to take on more adult challenges. And one day you realize you've pretty much hit all the high points. All that's left is to refine it and get better at it. Or accumulate more of it.

  10. #10
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Do you have a purpose? It seems like lots of men have trouble feeling like men unless they have a purpose in life that they are always striving to fulfill.

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