And by immediate, just projecting what you have had in your past, even if it is five to fifteen years forward is immediate as you have already had the experience and seek to conjure it once again. I think this part might have fucked me over. I wonder if the psychopath joke about the wedding came from this premise.
But by both above definitions, one that has experienced disillusion and enjoyed the feeling will seek disillusion and perhaps become what you are proposing. It's a bit like inventing 26 dimensions to fit the theory. Or expecting 1+1 to always sum up 2, no matter of the context. Maybe they didn't even enjoy disillusion but was told that it gave them further depth and so their quest began to self deterioration - or growth. Depends on how one wishes to see things.
I wrote the ending first, I hope it fits.
I was having a go on the Super N and Super S. Where S would go about accordingly to either what is right now or what has been and what it did like then to be now. S is really rigid structure. Really boring. S's out there in the world are not. Super N would not recognize a thing around them or anything else for that matter. Lol. whoops. Though this is implying that there is an external world.
Good. I do not come off as a child. That is also too bad. I cannot have all, all of the time I guess goes the saying.
I am afraid I won't be able to answer anything but are you aware that males tend to seek the "dear end of the world"scenario more often than females? I am not aware by how much difference there is.