Deep inside, I am a very content and peaceful person. I have experienced enough struggle in my life to be deeply grateful for the life that I currently live.
06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box
It's strange. Neither happy or unhappy. I have moments of spiking happiness and other moments of annoyance. More a flatline of contentment than anything else.
Been trying to find myself for a couple of years, in that there's a solid core inside of who I am but I'm trying find out what created that person and how to fix old triggers since they impede growth.
I'm also looking for inspiration, something to throw everything into, a personal reason for existence. Don't need to make a mark in life that's remembered, be someone or make a difference. Just need something to inspire passion, an all or nothing focus and lust for life.
I think that good and bad events run on parallel tracks in our lives and tend to arrive around the same time. There will always be things that temper perfect happiness. Therefore it becomes an issue not so much of what happens to us, our circumstances or how others act, so much as how we choose to deal with those things. I believe that it is possible to feel contented, even if there are still distressing things going on.
So, having said that, I think basically I am happy - I've got supportive people in my life and work that I enjoy and find meaning in. My future is somewhat uncertain, but I think I have the basic resources to deal with that. I think that my faith also gives context to whatever is happening and allows me to feel a deep sense of trust in someone more powerful than myself.
One thing I'm learning is that gratitude, trust and self-discipline are major contributors to finding happiness. Hardships are effective at furnishing us with opportunities to develop all three. I have a long ways to go in all three of those areas, but I've found that the more I develop in those directions, the more happier overall I tend to feel.
Sometimes I'm the object in motion that stays in motion... and has no clue what's going on internally! I guess I think I'm normal. I have my day-to-day issues, then I resolve them... I seek support, I give support. There are things I like (food, exercise), and I'm doing meaningful work that I really love. I look at the future with more optimism than trepidation. I think of myself just as normal... not sure if that's happy or unhappy. Wow - I think I just avoided the question! Oops.
Well, if you ask me right after a cup of great coffee, I will say I am happy.
I was terribly unhappy for most of my life, to the point of feeling suicidal routinely, if not daily. Now I am happy. I think I feel that way because all of my needs are being met, and they're being met because I've been working my butt off to meet them myself. I've got money because I've got a job because I've worked to acquire and keep one. I have my own space because I pay rent. I have a wholly satisfying relationship because I sought it out and work hard to maintain it and make it thrive. I have so much that I didn't have when I was miserable, and I'm not letting it go.