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  1. #11
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    I think your right. The only way to resolve my problem with those that bitch to bitch, is to escape the bitching. Easier done with co-workers and aquaintences. I still don't understand what motivates people to do this. Round and Round they go in the bitch process... I mean, I JUST. DONT. GET. IT. When I have a problem I want it resolved. The sooner the better. If I need an outlet for negative crap then I run, or do yoga, or drink a bottle of wine and cook, or post crap like this on typology so others can bitch about me bitching about the bitchers =) LOL.
    And yes I realize the irony in that last sentence. But truly, I WAS looking for resolution. Or better understanding?
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  2. #12
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    I think your right. The only way to resolve my problem with those that bitch to bitch, is to escape the bitching. Easier done with co-workers and aquaintences. I still don't understand what motivates people to do this. Round and Round they go in the bitch process... I mean, I JUST. DONT. GET. IT. When I have a problem I want it resolved. The sooner the better. If I need an outlet for negative crap then I run, or do yoga, or drink a bottle of wine and cook, or post crap like this on typology so others can bitch about me bitching about the bitchers =) LOL.
    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    And yes I realize the irony in that last sentence. But truly, I WAS looking for resolution. Or better understanding?
    It's your Te acting up. I do this too. We are fixers.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    People STOP bitching just to bitch.
    Fi-Fe threads = relentless bitching.

  4. #14
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I think some people love to complain...and they're insecure...and they feel superior if they can find something to complain about. I've worked in customer relations and I really think some people complain to boost their own egos.

    As for the whole, "I suck at this, and there is no way out of my problems" thing. I think probably I sometimes come across like that - because I analyze everything to death and if you are a trusted friend I will vent/think aloud to you. Sometimes it just comes across as relentlessly negative and obsessive, I think. But I actually am working through things. I used to allow myself to get extremely stuck on the things I was depressed, angry, sad or worried about, but I have become a little better over the years at working through and not getting stuck (well, to be honest I still get stuck, but maybe not for quite as long and not quite as badly. I'm just so sick of how exhausting negative emotions are!!)

    I wonder if some people actually find negativity energising - the opposite of how I feel!
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  5. #15
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    Bitching about people bitching...



    The first scenario. Now, I want to stay home typically. Also I'm not in relationship for various reasons. But, if I felt like going out, I would. Is it possible to just go out by yourself?

    The second scenario is crazy. I didn't completely read it. I guess I'm not in relationships for various reasons. I don't know how I'd deal with that co-worker exactly. Probably in this instance, the person would not come to me with this issue. However, I think that person needs some therapy or help, and if you aren't qualified or inclined to do it, then maybe refer them to someone who can help. If you want to help, I suggest bringing this person to the processing of their anxieties via cognitive behavior therapy.

    The co-worker says, "My significant other is investigating an old relationships, nobody loves me, I suck. I have problems. My SO is bad. They have problems."

    I say, "So? What's going to happen?"

    They say, "Well they could leave me, and I could be a heap of shit, flowing downhill through the gutter into a sewer of infinite despair."

    I say, "Is it really that bad? If you are that dependent, then maybe they feel smothered. Why don't you brace yourself for the worst, and store up forgiveness for times when people fail you. I mean, people are imperfect, and they are going to fail you. For your own health and happiness, then why don't you store up forgiveness in advance? In the mean time, work on developing other sources of validation other than measuring your self-esteem by what other people do."

  6. #16
    Senior Member Beargryllz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Huxley3112 View Post
    Probably the most irritating thing I come across is people that bitch just to bitch. And I'm not saying that I am always an overflowing cup of optimism, I definately am not. Infact, I am quite critical.. more so than I wish to be. But I think that if your going to lay out a problem, carry on and on about how much a problem it is, but then FAIL to offer up some kind of solution or tear down others solutions, then your a turd. Same goes for ideas and plans. If you think an idea is off, don't just explain why the idea isn't going to work, but give some ALTERNATIVE and explain why its better. Even if the idea is 'we do nothing' which will probably not fit with the problem in the first place. I wonder if anyone else gets terribley annoyed with this? Is it more common in Ne dom? Now I know someone is going to come along and say "people need to vent sometimes, they are not looking for answers, only to be heard." And thats fine, if your venting to someone that doesn't mind just listening to negative ramblings. But I don't think that many people really enjoy doing this. I think this is more suited for a shrink, that you pay to listen to your bitching. Then again, if its a good shrink they will probably want to find a solution also, or atleast treat your bitching symptom with a high dose of prozak.

    Does any one else get INCREDIBLY irritated with the debbie downers and idea critics? What does the fact that this bothers me so much mean?

    My solution to this problem? People STOP bitching just to bitch.
    Quit your bitching

  7. #17
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    I bitch just to bitch, a lot.

    If a problem is out of your control, and have done everything you could to fix it, the best thing for me to do is let it out of my system in some form and move on. And no, I'm not sorry if it bothers anyone. Find an alternative to deal with it, like ignoring it, or walking away.
    Last edited by Amethyst; 02-25-2011 at 01:26 AM. Reason: lies

  8. #18
    Senior Member Santosha's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tawanda View Post
    I bitch just to bitch, a lot.

    If a problem is out of your control, and have done everything you could to fix it, the best thing for me to do is let it out of my system in some form and move on. And no, I'm not sorry if it bothers anyone. Find an alternative to deal with it, like ignoring it, or walking away.
    Key word being *move on*. THe original thread was a pretty clear criteria ~ people that bitch to bitch and wont let up. people that are NOT looking for a solution.. only to plaster the world around them with negative shit. People that have a complete disreguard for how their continuous bitching or lack of solution affects other people. But if doing this makes you feel better..... keep bitchen, my dear =)
    Man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun - Watts

  9. #19
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    I am not going to read this thread.. I am just hoping by now, someone has already pointed out the irony of the title and OP of this thread.

  10. #20
    Senior Member BAJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arclight View Post
    I am not going to read this thread.. I am just hoping by now, someone has already pointed out the irony of the title and OP of this thread.
    Sure.

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