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  1. #121
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    I just remember feeling unhappy as a child, like I craved attention and I wasn't getting it. I see videos of myself as a child and become instantly annoyed at how I was always pouting or trying to get somebodies attention but I was pushed back or told to stop.

    I lived in my own world. I'd go into the woods and pretend a herd of trees were my home and I make fake furniture out of sticks and logs. I also imagined I would be a pop star one day and would actually imagine myself in the place of Brittney Spears in her early music videos (Oh boy!). I lived in a fantasy world with my books as well. I'd spend all day reading or coloring-just away from everybody and trying to capture the moment some how.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  2. #122
    Member crayons's Avatar
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    As a kid I was shy around strangers and very annoyingly talkative among those I knew. I was really curious about the natural world and I liked to think of why things were and stuff (I even philosophized when I was young, still do). Adults pushed me to find the answers myself which probably influenced my later career plans. I had a lot of friends but only a few were close.

    I did horribly in primary school academically for whatever reason, I do know I made the best effort I could. In secondary school my grades improved drastically though I didn't change anything.

  3. #123
    Not Your Therapist Sinmara's Avatar
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    Heh, I kind of had a bullseye painted on me when I was a kid. School was absolutely miserable. I was always taller than everyone else (5' in 4th grade), I was a white girl in a heavily hispanic neighborhood, I had Tourette's Syndrome so I had odd little tics, and my mother insisted on giving me the stereotypical '80s super-tight perm, so I had clown hair. I got bullied a lot. Unfortunately, this was the '80s and early '90s, so the common reaction from the teacher was to roll their eyes and tell you to deal with it.

    I wanted to have lots of friends and fit in, but I think I was very awkward about it because I was also very direct and blunt. I did that thing where I broke into conversations uninvited and or would sit next to someone and just start talking to them out of nowhere. So, I played alone a lot, made up my own games and such. I would make up plays and perform them in the mirror. My books kept me company for the most part and I was reading things like Black Beauty in second or third grade because I'd just had a lot of practice by that point. (This makes me sound like an only child, but I have a sister. We've just never had much to do with each other.)

    I used to drive my mother insane because she'd smudge or embellish facts to tell a better story and little kid me would correct her memory in front of everyone. I genuinely didn't understand why she acted like I'd just humiliated her -- I figured she wouldn't want to be wrong and was trying to be helpful.

    I was a very independent kid. I went off and did things without asking permission all the time. I wasn't misbehaving intentionally, the thought that I should ask before doing what I wanted didn't even occur to me. After I discovered the thrill of playing hide and seek at the big farmer's fair (I realized "omg this playground is HUGE!" aaaand my parents had a panic attack when they turned around and I was gone, heh), I was kept on a leash whenever we left the house until I was about 5.

    I frustrated my teachers because I was obviously intelligent enough to advance ahead of schedule, but whenever they did the necessary testing to make this happen, I failed. I failed hard. When they talked to me about whatever subjects, I knew all the answers and chatted up a storm. But, the moment I was sat in front of a test, I'd go totally blank. I never did my homework either. I knew that I knew the stuff they were trying to teach me, and I knew that they knew that I knew because we would talk about it, so what was the point of it?
    Never wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.



  4. #124
    S Saiyan God Mace's Avatar
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    I was extremely open, confident, careless and rowdy (but absolutely caring at heart).

    I would win the affection of many many people instantly and had a positive impact wherever I went.

  5. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by CuriousFeeling View Post
    Serious, imaginative, VERY sensitive, daydreaming, hardworking, temperamental, intellectual, love for learning, shy, yearning and introspective.
    this for me exactly, pretty much

    I was seen as a pretty creative kid, a "rule-breaker," and an iconoclast. I also didn't like failure.. at all.

    I was pretty happy as a kid, but eventually got messages that nobody really had my back, that other people deserved attention but that I didn't, and that I had to fend for myself, which sort of drove me to distrust other people. I got better, though!

  6. #126
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    very silly, curious, kinda a trouble maker. I kinda alternated between being shy with people I didn't know and very loud and rambunctious with friends. I moved a lot (4 elementary schools) so I was the new kid and had to start over. plus I skipped 1st grade and was always a year younger so that always made me one of the weird kids (also I was pretty weird on my own.) I read a lot, way more than I do now. I wasn't especially sensitive, I was never a cry baby kid. I was precocious in certain ways but probably socially immature. always very disorganized and messy but that hasn't changed.

  7. #127
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I was very quiet & extremely shy & enjoyed playing alone. I always had a sense of the world being a foreign place, like I was on a different wavelength. I definitely had the "missed the memo" feeling socially. People made me nervous, and I reacted to that by disliking them. I felt misunderstood a lot, like people were sometimes ascribing feelings/attitudes to me that I did not possess, and I saw little reflection of how I did feel/think in other people. I felt invisible to people. My mom & grandparents doted on me, but I still felt like a background fixture in life.

    My mom says I was "ornery", so I was not a happy-go-lucky kid either, but I consider my childhood a happy one with many fond memories. I generally had strong ideas about things from a young age. I was never afraid to go against the crowd, be the voice of dissent, or stand up for what I believed if it was important, but this enhanced that alienated feeling. I was a good kid because I had a strong sense of rightness that was all my own. I didn't fear punishment or disappointing adults, but I was strongly in touch with my own conscience. However, it angered me to be disciplined when I felt I was right or if I felt misunderstood. I sometimes had a "vigilante" attitude towards others when it came to right/wrong for the same reason. This never escalated to violent action though.

    I was very creative/artistic. I drew constantly, starting at like 2-3 years old. I drew comic strips, greeting cards, portraits of people I liked, and cartoons. I started writing goofy poems at a young age, and then short stories that were fairytale-like, but silly. If I liked you, then I drew a picture for you or wrote a story involving you. When I was in 3rd grade I was known for drawing this cartoon of a man in drag - seriously. I have no idea where my 7 yr old mind came up with that one, but the other kids thought it was hilarious & would ask me to draw it. I formed an identity around being kooky, arty & bookish.

    My sister says I was one of those kids who would not eat a broken cookie. I had high standards for myself & others. I was disappointed a lot as a child. Reality seemed less than what I imagined it could be. Yet, I was not ungrateful. I felt spoiled by my grandparents (whom I adored) & never expected a lot from people, materially speaking. I expected a lot from others intellectually & emotionally though. My main way of misbehaving was "talking back", which often involved "correcting" or arguing with an adult. I was something of a know-it-all, even then, and I could be sarcastic & critical at times. I would get frustrated when things did not make sense, especially if adults were insisting on something & could not provide a reason (luckily, my mom ALWAYS reasoned with us; that's probably why I expected it).

    I did very well in school academically & loved to learn, but I was socially awkward. At a young age, I was semi-oblivious to my own physical & social awkwardness. Sports TERRIFIED me, and so I hated PE. However, in group projects, I inadvertently would take the lead. Other kids just went along with my ideas for some unknown reason; I was not bossy in the slightest.

    I loved art & books & music. If I wasn't drawing, then I was reading or listening to music. My parents took me to libraries & museums a lot. I was definitely nerdy; I had giant Daria style glasses & was very spaced-out all the time. My mind was definitely off in its own world.

    I always had a "best friend", but never a clique. I made friends by being imaginative & "different". I took great pride in being "different". I was much more confident then. I didn't like games or any kind of play with rules. I liked playing barbies, because you created people & worlds & stories with them. I liked to make things, and so I'd make clothes for my barbies out of my old clothes & "cars" for them out of shoeboxes. I made a 2 story doll house completely out of paper once, which impressed my mom (she talks about it still) because it stood on its own and looked nice, and I used no instructions or pattern or anything like that.

    In my early teens, I was making music "zines" for my friends, imposing my music snobbery on them, which they largely disregarded . Even as a kid, I was known for wearing some quirky apparel item; first it was giant earrings, and by HS it was silver boots. I was a loner by HS, left feeling abandoned by my ex best friend, and I withdrew into myself even further (as I was always something of a solitary person). I was one of those teens who rarely left their bedroom... I was very aloof & guarded, and I know now this is why I had trouble making friends, but I thought I was defective. I got into fashion then, so I never became a nerd because I had a knack for dressing ahead of the crowd. I always had a secret mischievous side, but because I was a good kid, I never got the blame. I never really rebelled openly or did anything "bad". I graffitied here & there, broke into empty buildings, skipped classes, etc, but nothing harmful to myself or others.

    Besides the teenage dark ages, I am pretty much the same now! And geez, do I ramble on...
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

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  8. #128
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    I was a lot more outgoing and at least slightly less angry frustrated and bitter. Also, I was 'the smart kid'.

  9. #129
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    Louder. Kinder. Gentler. Then I became a man… Or maybe I just became those things…? Haven't quite figured it out yet.

  10. #130
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    At the age of 4 I was great - loved the world, helped the lonely kids at preschool to feel better, enjoyed life in general. By junior high I was shy and insecure. Not sure what happened in the middle there...

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