Ugh. I'll resort to communicating via short wave radio before I make a facebook profile.
“Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside
them they've all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe.” -Neil Gaiman
I'd probably be so traumatized that I'd develop post-traumatic stress disorder, to which the only way to which I'd be able to continue functioning would be to devise an intricate web of self-delusion & lies, causing me to regress to my early teenage years of thinking ebaumsworld and newgrounds were the entirety of the internet, and anything beyond those two websites would be like traveling into the vast, black, empty abyss of uncharted and unconquered internet, only inhabited by savages and pedophiles. If and when I reach this point, the mere mention of TypoC & INTPc will instantaneously cause me to fall to the floor while having violent convulsions and foaming at the mouth.
Lots of good suggestions here. I'll point out in particular Ventrilo and the Facebook page. If there is any chance that you would use Ventrilo, or if you have a Facebook account, I would suggest joining either of those or both if you do not want to be left behind in the apocalypse.