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  1. #41
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    I guess this video depicts what the OP describes. I haven't had much first hand experience with that. In such a situation I suppose it could be simply egotism, or it could even be that they don't truly love themselves but love the self-image conveyed by the photograph. Therefore they feel compelled to keep it close as a reminder to themselves and others that they exhibit these qualities. Then again portraiture used to be common in some homes, obviously portraits of people can be very captivating, and if not in your own home than in whose?

    Displaying photos commemorating experiences, memorable occasions, happy times seems very typical. And why not? Most peoples snapshots consist of precisely that. When you get behind it, I think part of it is an impulse to say, "I was here, I experienced these things." With people its more like, "I mattered." Seems obvious. Its possible some people could turn that into an expression of shallowness, as if the depth of the experience would not exist inside them without some external manifestation. But then those people can do that in other, more explicit ways, and not rely on photographs.
    Last edited by Vasilisa; 10-01-2012 at 11:50 PM.
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  2. #42
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by violaine View Post
    I know a guy who has a very prominent picture of himself in his home, smiling and successful. His therapist suggested he do it so that he can appreciate who he has become rather than perpetually seeing himself as the abused child that he was. Even if the reasons for having a pic up in a person's own home aren't so serious, I think it’s strange that it may be perceived as a shameful thing that someone likes the way they look and that’s why they have pictures in their home. It’s their home. And they like themselves. I think, good for them. I can’t stand the idea of shame. Shame holds people back. That’s not to say I like all the pics I’ve seen of people in their homes. Some are rather lame, but that’s more a matter of personal taste.

    I don’t have any pictures of myself in my home, because, well, I never thought to do that. I have a self-avatar at times because I like seeing myself stamped on my posts. I used to strongly prefer anonymity here but there is something freeing about owning your posts. Also, I like my face representing me just because it’s uniquely mine. I wish more people would self-avvy it up here.

    (To counter how laidback I am about pics in the home, I can be very judgemental about people who constantly talk about how wonderful they are if they can’t back it up. It never bothers me if it’s warranted. But otherwise, ugh. It’s really none of my business though and I hate that something as petty as that gets under my skin).
    The self-avy was a big no-no when I had them years back. It was perceived as self-centered and obnoxious. I wish that trend would change.

    I like the idea of your friend posting a picture of himself that makes him feel good about himself. I am all for that, and I think that is what people do, subconsciously, when they post pictures of themselves with friends and SOs. They are proud of what they see. No shame in that, it's healthy.

  3. #43
    violaine
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    Quote Originally Posted by disregard View Post
    The self-avy was a big no-no when I had them years back. It was perceived as self-centered and obnoxious. I wish that trend would change.
    Yeah, I can just imagine. That would have made me want to do it even more, lol. (Reactive Enneagram 4 here ). I tend to think that perception is another person's problems with their own stuff that they are allowing to spill over onto others. I'll admit that I used to think it was weird when someone posted pics in the pic thread right away or posted there a lot. But then I realized it's just something I wouldn't have done due to being paranoid about my privacy in the past and it didn't actually bother me.

  4. #44
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    I think it's okay to have pics of yourself and some friends scattered about. The two people I've known that have had professional headshot looking pics of themselves around the house have been extreme narcissists in general, though. Both insecure and "all about me." Both wanting to remind you of their accomplishments at every turn, whether through pictures or conversation.

    It's fun to have professional pics taken of you that you actually like and aren't critical of. But I'd feel weird putting pics of myself around my house. I know what I look like.
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  5. #45
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Well, I think they're too deep in theirselves to ever come out. Deeper than the most gayest closeted individuals in the dark age.
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  6. #46
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    It's good to hear this perspective too. Maybe I am just judgmental...
    lol, nah. well. we all are!

    but there really are some people who go a bit overboard about it. i guess i understand why - insecurity like Tallulah said - i just thought i would share some of my reasons so it's easier to see in a less repelling light hopefully

  7. #47
    Senior Member sciski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    One of the people I noticed it with was a slightly older guy. The montages were a) of a mountain climbing trip he took, and b) a bunch of pictures from when he was younger (and wilder/less respectable looking than he is now!)

    I could kind of understand the mountain climbing thing, because he had pictures on the summit and whatnot, and anyone might have a sense of accomplishment about that. I think it was just the fact that there were several pictures and I think they were all of just him. The pictures of him when he was younger, well, I wondered about that. I sort of had the impression that he had mixed feelings about his past - like, he'd turned his back on it in a lot of ways but still hankered back to it. Or he was trying to recapture his younger years, or that was still kind of how he saw himself, or something...

    With one or two women whose houses I've visited, it was more the model-like pictures scattered about. Professionally done sort of pics. Family photos done in a studio I can totally understand. Pictures of just you, that seems like another thing. I don't really know them well enough to be sure but I think maybe they'd gone through some pretty hard times in their life and were trying really hard to feel better about themselves.
    That would be my read... either the pictures serve as reminders of better times (especially if the person is Si and can relive the moment when looking at the shot) or as a nice little boost to the ego.

    I confess that I have little sympathy for those who feel the need to publicise glamour photos of themselves though. I understand when people want to show off a photo of themselves looking especially nice, but still essentially like themselves.... however, the glamour photos sometimes go into the realm of fantasy/unreality and then it's like being unwillingly subjected to someone's private delusions or wishes or projections (I heard that reading the Twilight series was similar... like going into someone's dirty dreams). And that's uncomfortable and a bit icky.

    @Athenian; yes, the projected/idealised self replaces the true self... my friends are somewhat like that and it's awkward to watch/experience. To validate their experience would be like lying to them and going along with unhealthy behaviour. To deny their experience would result in extreme drama and all the protective mechanisms that a person's defensive psyche can throw at you. I just keep hoping that they'll receive the wake up call they need.

  8. #48
    ThatGirl
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    I never stood having many pictures of yourself, in the house or otherwise. Not the type to even takes pictures on holidays for vacations. As a matter of fact I have one picture in my whole house, of my son, which was a gift for me on mother's day, from his school.

    I think nostalgic people keep pictures. Idk, maybe to remind them of the history of their lives. How far they have come, where they once were? Like a documentary.

  9. #49
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    I think I'm pretty damn fine. In fact, I enjoy spending hours upon hours staring at my avatar and telling myself how amazing I really am. It gives me a tingly sensation in my tummy. I love me .
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
    ayoitsStepho is becoming someone else. Actually her true self, a rite of passage.

  10. #50
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    this is what mirrors are for

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