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  1. #31
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Silkroad and iwakar, that's some heavy judgment going on. Wouldn't it be better to get to know these people more so you can draw more educated conclusions instead of making assumptions?

  2. #32
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unkindloving View Post
    I view this as very different. Displaying a picture of yourself to people who aren't staring at your face is normal. It's strange when someone may be able to stand right next to you in your own home and scan back and forth from a glam picture and your face .
    Strange indeed. The best part is asking them about it. Sometimes the answers may be exciting.

  3. #33

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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    Silkroad and iwakar, that's some heavy judgment going on. Wouldn't it be better to get to know these people more so you can draw more educated conclusions instead of making assumptions?
    I wasn't aware my statement was in terms of absolutes or that it was perceived as such. I have no prior experience with this sort of individual, as I said.
    "The purpose of life is to be defeated by greater and greater things." - Rainer Maria Rilke

  4. #34
    Senior Member chachamaru's Avatar
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    If someone has lots of pictures of themselves on a social media site, it's giving you the go-ahead to wank to their images.
    a cat is fine too

  5. #35
    Glycerine
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    I choose to put pictures of myself in avatars because I don't like taking random stuff off the internet.... so the next best thing is an unique pic of myself that no one else has and no.... I am not a narcissist. That word is used way too loosely.... it is an actual diagnosis in DSM IV-TR (it might be taken out in DSM V though).

  6. #36
    garbage
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    if they're doing cool stuff and/or are with family in their photos, I don't see a problem; the point of the photo is obviously then the memory, not the vanity

    photo as avatar? nah, it's the way you choose to express yourself

    situation described in the OP seriously sounds very creepy and insecure, though

    i guess at least they don't keep and display dozens of photos of somebody else around their house

  7. #37
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    okay, here goes, skylights reveals herself as the narcissist she really is:

    i really like good pictures of myself. i don't have hordes of them overpowering my space, but i do have quite a few around. because...

    1, they make me feel happy to be me. i am a little on the insecure side, and seeing myself happy and looking good is a great fun little boost (plus i am getting over an eating disorder, so photos are a positive "hey you look better than you think you do" reality check). i look at that person and think "hey she seems pretty cool, just relax and enjoy yourself." yay!

    2, they make me think of happy times in my life. usually when i'm looking good is when i've gotten dressed up for something special, like ceremonies or big outings or when i'm just feeling really expressive and happy to be me.

    3, i like seeing how i've changed. i think it's fascinating to see people as they develop and grow, how they've "bloomed". i like to see how i've bloomed.

    4, i like decorating my space that way. i think it's really pleasing, to have all these little worlds into my bigger world. all these things i am happy to have be a part of me. i don't do it for others so much as for myself, though i hope others also find it interesting. i love when people have well-chosen photos up.

    i don't think anyone would really think of the photos i have as egocentric or obnoxious though. i'm pretty laid back and my style is kind of artistic, and in general photos tend to be me being silly and having fun. they're not up on the walls so much as in scattered frames and those little photo clip things, or tacked to my corkboards.

    (ps i know this is wrong but i'm self-identifying as enneagram 7w3, just so you kind of understand my vibe)

  8. #38
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iwakar View Post
    You said prat.
    I live in England, so, yes....sometimes it's a good word.


    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post


    okay, here goes, skylights reveals herself as the narcissist she really is:

    i really like good pictures of myself. i don't have hordes of them overpowering my space, but i do have quite a few around. because...

    1, they make me feel happy to be me. i am a little on the insecure side, and seeing myself happy and looking good is a great fun little boost (plus i am getting over an eating disorder, so photos are a positive "hey you look better than you think you do" reality check). i look at that person and think "hey she seems pretty cool, just relax and enjoy yourself." yay!

    2, they make me think of happy times in my life. usually when i'm looking good is when i've gotten dressed up for something special, like ceremonies or big outings or when i'm just feeling really expressive and happy to be me.

    3, i like seeing how i've changed. i think it's fascinating to see people as they develop and grow, how they've "bloomed". i like to see how i've bloomed.

    4, i like decorating my space that way. i think it's really pleasing, to have all these little worlds into my bigger world. all these things i am happy to have be a part of me. i don't do it for others so much as for myself, though i hope others also find it interesting. i love when people have well-chosen photos up.

    i don't think anyone would really think of the photos i have as egocentric or obnoxious though. i'm pretty laid back and my style is kind of artistic, and in general photos tend to be me being silly and having fun. they're not up on the walls so much as in scattered frames and those little photo clip things, or tacked to my corkboards.

    (ps i know this is wrong but i'm self-identifying as enneagram 7w3, just so you kind of understand my vibe)
    It's good to hear this perspective too. Maybe I am just judgmental...
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  9. #39
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    I don't see the strangeness here. It don't do it, but I wouldn't think it's weird unless I found said person to be extremely unattractive or if he/she continued to stare at the pictures the whole day. That's narcissism.

  10. #40
    violaine
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    I know a guy who has a very prominent picture of himself in his home, smiling and successful. His therapist suggested he do it so that he can appreciate who he has become rather than perpetually seeing himself as the abused child that he was. Even if the reasons for having a pic up in a person's own home aren't so serious, I think it’s strange that it may be perceived as a shameful thing that someone likes the way they look and that’s why they have pictures in their home. It’s their home. And they like themselves. I think, good for them. I can’t stand the idea of shame. Shame holds people back. That’s not to say I like all the pics I’ve seen of people in their homes. Some are rather lame, but that’s more a matter of personal taste.

    I don’t have any pictures of myself in my home, because, well, I never thought to do that. I have a self-avatar at times because I like seeing myself stamped on my posts. I used to strongly prefer anonymity here but there is something freeing about owning your posts. Also, I like my face representing me just because it’s uniquely mine. I wish more people would self-avvy it up here.

    (To counter how laidback I am about pics in the home, I can be very judgemental about people who constantly talk about how wonderful they are if they can’t back it up. It never bothers me if it’s warranted. But otherwise, ugh. It’s really none of my business though and I hate that something as petty as that gets under my skin).

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