User Tag List

First 4567816 Last

Results 51 to 60 of 193

  1. #51
    Charting a course
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Posts
    3,638

    Default

    Those who are loudest, and most obnoxious, get the most attention. Whether they have anything intelligent to say or not.

  2. #52
    Oberon
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    Those who are loudest, and most obnoxious, get the most attention. Whether they have anything intelligent to say or not.
    He speaks the truth. Take it from one who knows.

  3. #53
    Permabanned
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    xkcd
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx/sp
    Socionics
    INT_
    Posts
    10,733

    Default

    Just yell yourself what I tell myself:

    I am the center of this forum the way the sun is the center of the solar system. People are too intimidated to interact with me on more than a limited basis; the way one cannot stare at the sun without going blind.

  4. #54
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    9w1 sx
    Posts
    1,436

    Default

    Absolutely feel that way. I get all excited when I see a new rep comment. It makes me feel like someone read my post and either agreed or at least found it humorous. I've got self esteem issues though, so it's not surprising that I struggle with feeling like I don't fit in here. Of all the forums I've been on though, this one has been the one that I've felt the least awkward on. Most people around here are really accepting and don't seem to judge type as much as some other forums. And I've noticed if you decide you were mistyped and change your type they aren't all "HOW ARE YOU THAT TYPE NOW?!"

    I like it here. Sure there are days when I feel like I'm speaking to myself, but then there are days where I actually feel like at least one person was listening.

  5. #55
    Starcrossed Seafarer Aquarelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    3,532

    Default

    I feel this way sometimes too, but a lot of it goes back to what others have said - I'm not loud and obnoxious (usually), I'm not on Vent, and I don't often flirt. Also, this is just a huge forum, so it's hard to keep up with everyone! But I do notice your posts and read a lot of them, even if I don't respond.
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
    TypeC: Adventures of an Introvert
    Wordpress: http://introvertadventures.wordpress.com/

  6. #56
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    I habitually go through a cycle where I feel ignored and unnoticed. Then I manage to get some sort of feedback and am in a comfortable spot for a bit, but eventually after enough silence / lack of response, I need yet some more cues to maintain my comfortable orbit.

    This was an ironic thread for me to see. One another site, I've never felt like I've been in the "in crowd" and/or gotten much public response; and a year ago or so, I kind of had a minor flipout on yet another forum for the same basic reason. I am not a prolific poster on that latter forum, but I was at least known among the forum members and thought I had contributed a slow but steady amount of quality posts, and every so often someone would spontaneously say they really appreciated me. Yet it was very common for me to invest in a response and not even get the courtesy of a short reply, while one-liners and thoughtless quips by old-timers and what I perceived as the "in crowd" were dominating the discussion.

    I forget what specifically happened, but I got "triggered" somehow and actually dumped an, "I'm out of here" post describing my feelings, my observations of some general forum problems, etc. And then I left.I was planning to stay away forever, but curiosity got the better of me, so after 2-3 weeks, I went back and looked. It's not like the whole forum published in that thread, but a fair number did... and most were kind of surprised I felt the way I did, and always appreciated my input, they just didn't have a lot to say about it and/or I covered things well enough in my posts to not need additional input.

    It was just another reminder to me that what I perceive and what I feel based on that perception is not necessarily the truth, when it comes to group dynamics.

    I think INTP has some natural issues in human community, which explains why we might be prone to skip out on it and/or just indulging on a humorous/detached level but dislike actually making a personal investment.

    We can't assume that we are part of something just because we have joined it or have been assigned a particular role. (i.e., being invited to a family gathering just because we are related to someone there). Truths are not based on assumptions. They are drawn from evidence.

    So we also need some sort of rational, repeated confirmation to reaffirm that, yes, we are being heard, because when we get no cues back, there is no information to assess what is happening. INTPs need information... and lack of information is also information in itself. The bullshit detector that INTPs use on rational statements automatically derails the popular, "Of course you're accepted, you're a member, aren't you?" affirmation -- as all the evidence we are receiving (i.e., no response whatsoever) leads to the perception that we aren't even being noticed.

    And because we're flexy, well, it's hard to flex to something where we're not getting input back. The cues coming our way generate our response. J's have an easy time just choosing their own behavior and letting other things respond to them; the P factor means we are kind of dead in the water without information coming our way.

    And then of course there might be the whole fear of being socially inept anyway. it's not like we weren't rejected before, and it's not like we can't already feel out of our domain in social situations. Not belonging or not being wanted (if we don't just dismiss that need as irrelevant -- some of us can do that) is a real possibility.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #57
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,489

    Default

    I think it's hard not to feel like this on a forum with hundreds/thousands? of active posters. It makes it especially difficult when certain posters will "take over" threads with their own vendettas and agendas, leaving your own well-thought nugget of information in the dust, buried under 3 pages of babble. This is (partially) why I don't like fluff/one-liner exchanges, personal insults/bickering, and OT in serious threads (/tyrant).

    When that wasn't the case as much here, I told myself that it's just because I don't have the energy to interact on a personal level with very many people here, and I don't tend to participate in the picture/fluff threads or vent which is where a lot of the social interaction happens. It's even partly true. IxTPs aren't really known for our socializing skills, although like any generalization, there are tons of people who defy it (here and elsewhere).

    -end of thread-

  8. #58
    Honor Thy Inferior Such Irony's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INtp
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/so
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    5,091

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nijntje View Post
    I feel uncomfortable posting in threads where people clearly know each other and have a casual familiar back and forth banter, it makes me feel like im intruding in some way, you know the new kid at school who wants to join in the game but no one really wants to play with….

    I also have difficulties posting in threads that are MBTI heavy, as I don’t know as much about it as many others here do, and don’t particularly feel like being ripped apart for having incorrect viewpoints or understandings of the theories. I am infp after all, I don’t like being yelled at lol.
    Yeah, I've noticed the banter thing in alot of threads. Other people naturally seem to do the back and forth banter and its something I'm awkward with. I never know how to respond in that case. I'm better with more serious, informational sorts of threads.

    There are some of the MBTI heavy threads I've read with great interest but didn't reply to because I felt that others could explain it far better than I ever could and any response I'd give would just be redundant. And who wants that?

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I don't know. You never really know who reads your posts. Maybe people read posts but have nothing to say. Often, people only respond if they want to argue a point. There aren't a lot of "yeah" posts. It is hard to quantify blogs, you can measure the views. Really, more people read than you think.
    I actually did the math and divided the number of views by the number of replies (about 80-90%) which are mine. Theres an average of 6 views per post, which is not many at all considering the large number of people on this forum.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post

    I think INTP has some natural issues in human community, which explains why we might be prone to skip out on it and/or just indulging on a humorous/detached level but dislike actually making a personal investment.

    We can't assume that we are part of something just because we have joined it or have been assigned a particular role. (i.e., being invited to a family gathering just because we are related to someone there). Truths are not based on assumptions. They are drawn from evidence.

    So we also need some sort of rational, repeated confirmation to reaffirm that, yes, we are being heard, because when we get no cues back, there is no information to assess what is happening. INTPs need information... and lack of information is also information in itself. The bullshit detector that INTPs use on rational statements automatically derails the popular, "Of course you're accepted, you're a member, aren't you?" affirmation -- as all the evidence we are receiving (i.e., no response whatsoever) leads to the perception that we aren't even being noticed.

    And because we're flexy, well, it's hard to flex to something where we're not getting input back. The cues coming our way generate our response. J's have an easy time just choosing their own behavior and letting other things respond to them; the P factor means we are kind of dead in the water without information coming our way.
    These are really good points and relate very well to my own experience.
    INtp
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff
    Neutral Good
    LII-Ne




  9. #59
    Oberon
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I habitually go through a cycle where I feel ignored and unnoticed.
    Did you say something?


  10. #60
    violaine
    Guest

    Default

    OP, it's just the nature of foruming. Some people make a splash and get a lot of attention and others burn a little slower but I do think there's a place for everyone. Some people just have to reach out a little (kind of like what you are doing with this thread. Great idea).

    EDIT: Also, as a general point, some posters are here all the time. They are automatically going to have more of a forum presence and be noticed more.

    Quote Originally Posted by Biaxident View Post
    Those who are loudest, and most obnoxious, get the most attention. Whether they have anything intelligent to say or not.
    In foruming, as in life. But, ime, eventually those people either change it up a bit and become better forumers or fade away and move on to greener pastures when the newness and attention fades. (Either way, yay).

    Quote Originally Posted by Nijntje View Post
    I feel uncomfortable posting in threads where people clearly know each other and have a casual familiar back and forth banter, it makes me feel like im intruding in some way, you know the new kid at school who wants to join in the game but no one really wants to play with….
    I wouldn't worry too much about feeling like you are intruding cos you aren't. I've definitely noticed you around too. I guess it can seem like there are cliques and there most definitely are a few but I don't think many people are averse to interacting with someone new if they put themselves out there.

    I like a little banter but I wish people would keep off-topic, repetitive, fluffy back and forths to reps and walls and blogs. (Banter is best done when it goes along with a serious point). It's especially annoying when it's in different threads simultaneously. It makes the threads and then the forum so fluffy and annoying at times. It might discourage new posters and foster lurking as well, seems likely.

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] Why are feelings for INFPs so strong on this forum?
    By prplchknz in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 02-18-2011, 02:04 PM
  2. [INTJ] Disproportional representation of INTJs on this forum
    By Ezra in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 05-16-2008, 04:37 PM
  3. Replies: 28
    Last Post: 09-11-2007, 11:08 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO