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Thread: Not Feeling Significant on This Forum

  1. #41
    Banned Array
    Join Date
    Nov 2009


    I recommend slightly flirting, it seems the people I borderline flirt with always come back for more. As ever, indulging others with complimentary behaviour gets the same in return and generates their interest. Writing 'me specific' posts, blogs and threads doesn't tend to generate a significant response other than some head nods.

    It isn't necessarily what we might be inclined to do naturally as introverts, but hey, I'm a Te person and I have a flexible Pi soul. *ponders*

  2. #42
    Warflower Array Nijntje's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    For some reason I really feel it on this forum, like if I just left and never came back, hardly anyone would notice. That's a very sobering thought but I have little evidence to believe so otherwise.

    Compared to other members of similar post count and forum stay, I don't have all that many visitor messages compared to many of you. My blog gets very limited readership, it makes me wonder if it’s worth the bother of keeping. Other members seem to get more replies to their blog posts. My name isn't referenced very much in threads other than the ones I start. Other people are always getting mentions and thanks.

    Have other people ever felt the same way on this forum?

    With out a doubt I’ve felt like this. I’ve been on this forum for just under two years and compared with others of the same or even less time frame, my presence is nowhere near as felt.

    I’m not entirely certain that my blog is read at all, but honestly, it doesn’t really bother me, I have it for me, and if anyone else gets anything from it then good, if not, c’est la vie.

    I don’t know if it’s the same, but my shyness and introversion translates to the online world as well as the fleshy one.

    I feel uncomfortable posting in threads where people clearly know each other and have a casual familiar back and forth banter, it makes me feel like im intruding in some way, you know the new kid at school who wants to join in the game but no one really wants to play with….

    I also have difficulties posting in threads that are MBTI heavy, as I don’t know as much about it as many others here do, and don’t particularly feel like being ripped apart for having incorrect viewpoints or understandings of the theories. I am infp after all, I don’t like being yelled at lol.

    But, meh, I come, I observe, I interact and sometimes people interact back, sometimes not. But yeah, I’m def. not one of the members who’s presence would be mourned for leaving. It’s just how it is.

    Terrible things happen to good people every day.
    Consequentially, I am not one of the good people.
    I am one of the terrible things.

    Conclusion: Dinosaurs

  3. #43


    I don't know. You never really know who reads your posts. Maybe people read posts but have nothing to say. Often, people only respond if they want to argue a point. There aren't a lot of "yeah" posts. It is hard to quantify blogs, you can measure the views. Really, more people read than you think.

  4. #44
    78% me Array Eruca's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    5w4 sx/sp


    Become a member of the vent elite.

    Swear, flirt and use the caps lock all the time. You will become a legend.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Array Eckhart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010


    I can very well relate to the OP. I always tell myself it is silly to feel like that, that it is just an online forum and that there is so many people there sure can not all be in everyone's mouth (or fingers, huh) all the time. But yeah, as you I can relate to it also outside of the forum, and so it just reminds me of my own wounds permanently (story of my life), and that made me feel to take more of a step back from the forum sometimes, I cannot really repress those feelings.

    I cannot blame anyone for it, I could really interact more with people from my own, but I just don't know where or how to start :/ It is just not as natural behaviour for me to interact with people as it is for others it seems.

    Ah well, I hope it helps you to know that people can relate to you and give you a

  6. #46


    I notice your posts ALL the time suchirony. :/

    Quote Originally Posted by Nancynobullets View Post
    Become a member of the vent elite.

    Swear, flirt and use the caps lock all the time. You will become a legend.

  7. #47
    Protocol Droid Array Athenian200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007


    Quote Originally Posted by SuchIrony View Post
    Thanks for the feedback. Maybe its the way I was raised or maybe its just me, but its very hard for me to come out and say that I want attention. For some reason, I feel like if people were really interested in me, they would pay attention without my ever having to ask for it.
    That is exactly how I tend to feel, and it's why it can be so hard for me to make friends or meet people.

    I have mixed feelings about attention. It bothers me when I feel like I'm not being noticed but I don't like too much attention either. I've never been much of a self-promoting type- preferring to let my talents speak for themselves and waiting for someone to compliment me on that. Maybe I do need to put myself out there more.
    Definitely. You'll have a long wait if you keep waiting for people to notice your talents... if you only knew how long I've waited. I absolutely hate self-promotion. But I've found that those are the types who get the most attention, even if they have no talent.
    One reason why I was so hesitant to post this thread is because I worry that the new attention I receive is because people feel sorry for me not so much because I'm genuinely an interesting and likeable person. It feels manipulative somehow to post about being overlooked- as if I'm fishing for compliments. That's another reason why I agonized over posting this thread for two weeks.
    That's the irony, though... it's the people who are manipulative and keep guilting other people, who get attention. I've known a lot of Extraverts who constantly accuse their friends of not paying attention to them if they go a couple days without calling them. Even if these people are actually quite boring and uninteresting, they get lots of attention because they know how to manipulate people into giving it to them. People who are interesting and likable in their own right, but don't do anything to get attention, are often overlooked.

    I never thought of that but that is a good point. I've only been on this forum for 7 months now. Maybe my expectations are too high.
    Well, it's not all about time. You could get noticed more quickly if you just post more, and in the right places. Try to say things that are witty, make a few puns... maybe try to offer an insightful analysis or two. Make a variety of different kinds of posts on different threads, and at least a few posts are bound to get attention. The trick is not to focus too much on one area... just focus on making one or two posts a day that get a response. Then, focus on trying to make posts that will get you into a conversation with someone, even if you only exchange a few posts.

    I'm going to try to pass for an ESFJ. That'll catch peoples' interest.

    I don't think you need to go THAT far. ENTP will do.
    I try to avoid too many of the "me too" types of posts. I try to post threads that haven't been previously posted in the past and are different from the current topics of discussion.
    Ah, you see... there's your problem. A lot of people here like to post on those kind of threads, and don't look for new kinds of discussions. Although, I personally do look for new kinds of discussions, I just often get so caught up in the old ones that I don't see them.
    I may be just another INTP but I also feel different enough from most of the INTPs. I'm not so sure other INTPs would care so much about the possibilty of being overlooked. Sounds like more of an extravert and/or feeling thing. Maybe its a social subtype thing though- caring what the group at large thinks of you.
    Well, you certainly are different. I don't think most INTPs would care this much... if I didn't know better, I'd say you were the same type as me. You remind me almost exactly of myself when I was younger. I would complain about ALL of these same things to people, and it took me a long time to get any useful advice. Of course, I mostly complained in real life, while you're complaining on an Internet forum, but I think the same basic rules apply.

  8. #48
    mrs Array disregard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007


    Be careful what you wish for. As fidelia said, being well-known can polarise others' opinions of you, and that's a lot to take if you're already sensitive to what they think about you. I used to get loads of attention because I had a ravenous appetite for it, so subconsciously, I did everything to get it. It was hard taking in the criticism with the acceptance. I'm happy to be where I am today as a wallflower. But you might have to learn that lesson on your own. It's a good lesson, but be careful. Some people prey upon people that need attention.

  9. #49


    I like you and notice you!
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  10. #50


    The unique thing about online forums is that communication is your presence.

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