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  1. #61
    Senior Member kuranes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haight View Post
    Out my mouth: "Umm. . . great. Welcome. . . I hate to be rude, but I have to finish cleaning my rats. It can be a real mess when they all start shaking off the soap lather."
    And here I thought you were referencing Notta's wit !
    "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them that they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
    Reichsfuhrer Herman Goering at the Nuremburg trials.

  2. #62
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Say what's on your mind as you think it. Be honest. Get hurt and then laugh about it. A little bitterness is essential to quickwitted-ness.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  3. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Why would you want it? It mostly only makes you spend half the time you interact with people either biting your tongue or getting yourself into trouble.
    Echo echo echo

  4. #64
    Senior Member Anentropic IxTx's Avatar
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    Listen to witty people until you hear their voice in your head - and speak.

  5. #65
    Member Eye 'n' Teepee's Avatar
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    Watch a lot of John Lennon interviews.

  6. #66
    Circus Maximus Sarcasticus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Say what's on your mind as you think it. Be honest. Get hurt and then laugh about it. A little bitterness is essential to quickwitted-ness.
    Good advice.


    Quote Originally Posted by Eye 'n' Teepee View Post
    Watch a lot of John Lennon interviews.
    This too.

  7. #67
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    The secret to a quick wit is timing.

    Get the timing right and you will be laughing - and so will everyone else.

    It is exactly the same as a motor car - get the timing right and you are as smooth as silk.

    And the secret to timing is to listen. You listen to the rhythm of the conversation and before long you will be quick, you will be nimble.

    Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack jumped over the candle stick. Can you hear the rhythm in the words, can you see the words dancing together? Just listen and before long you will be dancing with them.

  8. #68
    Supreme Allied Commander Take Five's Avatar
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    ^And if you believe that, he'll tell you another one.

    I'd say expand your reservoir of knowledge, which will help you make more connections with things.

  9. #69
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Drink Red Bull often and start hanging out with sarcastic, verbally abusive people.

  10. #70
    no clinkz 'til brooklyn Nocapszy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TickTock View Post
    Does anyone have any hints, tips or sites for improving wit?
    almost all of my posts are generated following little to no research of a thread [leaning toward none].

    of the posts i make that i actually go back and re-read, at least 70% of them have been responded to with at least one "lol/ha" so i think my authority here is established.

    the method is as follows, and it has to go in mostly this order:
    * check to see if there are women around
    * say something that is partially relevant to the situation, and probably involves, references, explicitly mentions, enhances or details sex or sexual activity or orientation

    that's it.

    that's not the method i use though.
    i never make sex jokes.
    ever.

    they suck and are not funny.

    to learn the method i use and make legitimately funny jokes on the spot, you can read my book on your amazon kindle 2 for only $9.99.

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