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  1. #61
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    Dominant members, I think, use argument and rhetoric (embarrassment, ostracizing) as a e-form of aggression. They also communicate security and status by a lack of hesitation which shows up in the form of clear and assertive writing and punctuation. You can also see things like interruption and dismissal in the form of ignoring posts or ignoring parts of posts, especially parts that regularly require responses. (I did it in this post as an example.)
    I think this would be heavily dependent on personality type, too.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  2. #62

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    Aside from what's already been said, I think one social rule here seems to be that on threads dealing with analysis of other members (i.e. MBTI Awards, Member Analysis, etc) only positive comments are encouraged.

    On the face of it, that seems unfair and unnecessarily restrictive. But I think people have an unspoken fear that negative comments will be used as a way for members to attack other members that they don't like or find to be intellectually deficient, instead of as a mature examination of a member's behavior. And I find that fear entirely justified.

    __________________________________________________ _______

    I've made another observation that I'm not sure fits the OP completely, but I'll throw it out there. The climate here seems to be much more accepting of radical viewpoints than the general population IRL, and skews far, far more to the left. I'm left to wonder if the anonymity of an internet forum causes people to posture and espouse views more radical than the way they behave IRL. Let's pretend that MBTI Central didn't exist, and all the members here found themselves at the same social event. I find it hard to believe that everyone would behave in accordance with the way they present themselves here, or else the police would be called. I think people are much more accommodating when they are dealing with others in person than they are here, where it's easy to be polemic. I think the members with the more hardcore views may be quite less militant in their behavior than in their declarations.
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  3. #63
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Other observations about the way that things seem to work around here-

    people tend to show the most interest in those who show interest in them- the best way to get someone to pay attention to you is to pay attention to them- pretty much the same as real life there

    If your post is too long and too serious it's doubtful that many people will carefully read it and give an in depth response to it

    there are powerful members and less powerful members here- people usually obtain power by carefully cultivating thier relationships with other members and by posting a lot- there are people who resent this of course- and yes- you don't ever mention what members may sway a discussion- that's somehow considered rude- it's also not a good idea to insult one of these members, as others will usually jump to thier defense

    people have thier friends here- people whos posts they always read and respond to- this is also the same as real life- and it's usually just because these people relate to one another better

    everyone has thier own image of themselves that they like to present- don't question this unless you wish to get into an argument or get criticized yourself
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  4. #64
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    I thought about a little anecdote... I was at a party with some friends that I thought was not that good, but it seemed as though everyone was enjoying it so I made an effort to "get along". Talking about it another day, the funny thing about it was that we all agreed that the party sucked, but we all made an effort because it seemed to us that everyone else was enjoying it.

    So I really appreciate this kind of open discussion about the norms of a group. It's very positive, healthy, and helps you to get out of a rut.

  5. #65
    mrs disregard's Avatar
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    Yeah, this thread is excellent.. although, I wonder if proteanmix has disclosed all the particular norms she had in mind when she began the thread.

    Have you, PM? Because I would like to ponder precisely what you had in mind.

  6. #66
    Senior Member ThatsWhatHeSaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metamorphosis View Post
    I think this would be heavily dependent on personality type, too.
    In what sense? That people fear certain types and hold stereotypes about them?

    Warning: MBTI rant impending.

  7. #67
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FMWarner View Post
    Aside from what's already been said, I think one social rule here seems to be that on threads dealing with analysis of other members (i.e. MBTI Awards, Member Analysis, etc) only positive comments are encouraged.

    On the face of it, that seems unfair and unnecessarily restrictive. But I think people have an unspoken fear that negative comments will be used as a way for members to attack other members that they don't like or find to be intellectually deficient, instead of as a mature examination of a member's behavior. And I find that fear entirely justified.
    Well, if you do picture this as a "social gathering," you wouldn't sit in a circular and randomly bitch people down by presenting all their negatives. Things would get ugly, and very quickly.

    It wouldn't go over in real-life, it won't go over here.

    In general, you have to earn the right to cut someone down... because they would realize you're not doing it to diminish them, nor would you phrase things in ways to be purposefully hurtful. Or you would have to have a specific session dedicated to it, with only the actual willing participants being included in the commentary.

    Most of the negative bitching that ever springs up in the forums (and even the few truly negatives in this thread) seems less about being constructive and more about someone just wanting to vent because they're upset with someone. So of course that sinks like a lead platypus.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #68
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatsWhatHeSaid View Post
    In what sense? That people fear certain types and hold stereotypes about them?

    Warning: MBTI rant impending.
    No, I was more so referring to the type of the speaker. Some types will speak more directly a vast majority of the times, while some types will tend to beat around the bush and feel out their listener more for opinions.
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

  9. #69
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Well, if you do picture this as a "social gathering," you wouldn't sit in a circular and randomly bitch people down by presenting all their negatives. Things would get ugly, and very quickly.

    It wouldn't go over in real-life, it won't go over here.
    I'm not particularly interested in a "social gathering" type of setting, as it doesn't tend to facilitate the kind of discussions I'm interested in... with that particular paradigm, there's a significant "cap" on how deep a discussion can go that leaves me a bit dissatisfied at times. I think it has been a bit more prominent lately (although probably not that much).

    Especially not on a forum. If I'm expected to do things the same way I would in real life without much extra leeway, what's the point of posting here instead of talking to real people? Half the reason I would come here is to seek deeper discussions of issues than most people in real life would be willing to deal with, and with less concern about only pointing out the positive aspects of what they said, rather than addressing all aspects.

  10. #70
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    I'm not particularly interested in a "social gathering" type of setting, as it doesn't tend to facilitate the kind of discussions I'm interested in... with that particular paradigm, there's a significant "cap" on how deep a discussion can go that leaves me a bit dissatisfied at times. I think it has been a bit more prominent lately (although probably not that much).

    Especially not on a forum. If I'm expected to do things the same way I would in real life without much extra leeway, what's the point of posting here instead of talking to real people?
    Serious, deep conversation is equally as possible in a social gathering. If anything, the "social" side of the forum gives us a good understanding of how the types naturally react when they don't have to worry as much about being judged (as in real life).
    "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."

    Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions, and can never pretend to any other office
    than to serve and obey them. - David Hume

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