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Thread: S vs. N Conversation

  1. #61
    Senior Member Array
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    Oct 2012


    Quote Originally Posted by ArbiterDewey View Post
    No, this thread isn't what you're probably thinking.

    I have noticed when listening to two of my friends (Metamorphosis/Hexis, both N types) that their conversational manner is on the same "wavelength" for lack of a better word. There is seemingly no time set to interpretation, they just know. It is as though they know exactly what the other person means, at all times. While myself, an S type, even in conversation with another S does not have this quality. It is as though I know exactly what I'm talking about, but I have to go far out of my way to get the other person to understand exactly what I'm saying or the point that I'm making. Two S types I find have the hardest time at this.

    An S type talking to an N type, as far as I've heard brings stress to the N type. They're so used to being immediately comprehended that having to go out of their way for an S to comprehend them is seemingly a waste of time (as I have seen. May not be the case for all.)

    What are your thoughts?
    I don't have any frustration talking to STP's. Generally we understand each other and have similair boundaries. though they might get frustrated at me for not being so "in the moment". On the other hand I don't really try to go onto an abstract plane with them. Generally Ti-Fe keeps us all happy, and generally, we appreciate each other.

    I do sometimes get frustrated talking to SJ's, but not so much because they don't understand me. More because of an issue of outlook rather than understanding, though. It is as if all the things they value - detail, prudence, realism - I just don't properly respect.

    Generally, I think it comes down to how healthy an N is, whether or not they feel "misunderstood". I live in the real world, so I have a wide range of conversational topics. I get on great with other N's, but with SP's and SJ's I have no problem being UNDERSTOOD or understanding them. If somebody is not an idiot, they will understand plain English, so if you can't make yourself understood to them, I'd say you have a problem. I am not talking about a context where by necessity you have to explain something very complex - like a physics lecture - but about everyday conversation. There are some conversations I have with my Ni brother which no-one else understands - but then I WOULDN'T speak in the same way to my SJ cousin and then get frustrated that he doesn't understand!

    If anything I would it comes down more to T vs F. If someone is very strongly F and not using Ti or Te style logic, I will find it hard to "get" their argument. ESPECIALLY Fi. Fe I will get, I will just not respect prioritizing it over Ti. Fi -based arguments, on the other hand, I will not get at all. I just can't identify.

    Just my two cents.

  2. #62
    Senior Member Array pinkgraffiti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    748 sx/so


    I'm still wondering what we were supposed to be thinking, because i was thinking precisely what @ArbiterDewey wrote, so what were we supposed to be thinking? that's the main mystery that interests me and i've been pondering about that for hours and i still don't know.

    that's all i have to say, i have nothing else to add to this forum, yes it is easier to talk to fellow Ns and yes I do often feel bored or frustrated or judged talking to S's and blah really boring obvious subject really.

  3. #63
    Active Member Array Poki's Avatar
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    Dec 2008


    I have no problems with N vs S. I dont generally dig into it that deep. A friend of mine is an N that doesnt understand me, but I think its an So/Sx vs an Sx/Sp thing. My utter lack of Sp floors her and because of that my actions confuse the crap out of her. Statements like, "my head is killing me"..."did you take advil"..."no"..."do you have advil"..."no"..."ok, I got some and my headache is gone. Couple days later "my head is killing me again"..."did you take advil"..."no". This is a constant reoccuring conversation with all things related to taking care of myself.

    My mom is an NF and I have no problems whatsoever talking or understanding her, do I listen to her suggestions though, not really. Same thing with my INTJ dad, I have no problems understanding him, we analyze and work good together. Me and his Fi butt heads big time though, where as a more dom/aux Fi I dont have any issues with. He has also given me "women" advice and I dont listen to him in regard to that either. I have got "woman" advice from NFPs as well about my marriage that I was in and my response was "did it, tried it, didnt work, next..." I dont see Fi as something to really analyze or dig into, its just there at face value to understand based off of what they say, facial expresions, etc.

    My biggest conversation issues is my lack of the ability to explain myself very well when talking. Has nothing to do with talking with an N vs S or a T vs F. I guess if you really wanted to nit pick you may be able to find a slight corrolation, but nothing that just sticks out like a sore thumb.
    Take what I say with a grain of salt, because that's all it is compared to the ocean of complexity when it comes to actions and real life.

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