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  1. #1
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Default Backhanded compliments - stick a knife in their back to their face

    Backhanded compliment (as defined by Cambridge Dictionaries): a remark that seems to say something pleasant about a person but could also be an insult.

    Example (found here):

    Quote Originally Posted by booyalab View Post
    I hate comments like those.
    once at my first job, i was about 16 or 17, i was wearing these platform sandals which i don't normally do because i'm already a decent height and i don't like being 5'11", and this female coworker says "that's a good height for you".
    WTF? are my arms so disproportionately long that they hang down to my knees? do i have a huge head? a long torso and stubby legs?
    I was so freakin impressed with the above compliment/insult that I want to start a thread solely devoted to sharing backhanded compliments you have received or conceived. I'm a big fan of the backhanded compliment. If issued with a deadpan face or, even better, an expression of wholesome sincerity, these things can really fuck with people's minds. We have all sorts of mental/emotional guards up against insults, but the backhanded compliment can bypass many of these by entering through the affirmation gateway, which is often unguarded and little-used.

    So, share your backhanded compliments one and all.

  2. #2
    only bites when provoked
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    I'm an INTJ, our "affirmation gateway" is just like our guarded "emotional gateway", only we have extra machineguns at the "affirmation gateway".

  3. #3
    Senior Member Lookin4theBestNU's Avatar
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    There is only one that I can think of and I am not sure to this day if it was intended as such . His look of shock at my reply seemed to indicate that he didn't. Anyway,from my ISTP early in our relationship:
    "Ya know baby, I really love it when you talk me to sleep. It's so relaxing!"
    "At points of clarity, I realize that my life on earth is meaningless, and that I am merely a pawn in a bigger game. A game I cannot possibly understand or have control of. Thankfully, before depression sets in, I drift back into my cloudy, bewildered daily routine." **Joel Patrick Warneke**

  4. #4
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    This happens all the time in my profession. I've met some real experts. Occasionally a parent of a student will be a real gem. Wherever there is performance and competition people devour this skill. Some are so subtle and twisted it's very difficult to recount them. I will try to think of a few, but have learned to blank them out.

    Here's one from the mother of a guy I dated in reference to my master's degree... "That sounds like fun."

    Here's one from a mentor regarding a recent conversation with an important colleague... "Of course she asked about your background, but I can't keep track of all your degrees."
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  5. #5
    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    "So, you want to go into art...that's great...you definitely look bohemian enough for the part."

    So, since when is blue jeans, a shirt, and a black jacket (nylon, not leather, and definitely not covered in paint)...bohemian? Was she calling me homely? The look on her face certainly said such.

    Another one from the same person:

    "You could be a scientist or an engineer...you could be anything! And you want to go into art."


    She was not a very useful counselor.

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