3. Batman's gas-powered grappling gun.
Okay, I think the third wish deserves some explanation, or else you guys will think I'm crazy.
After much thought, I recently came to the conclusion that there is no situation that cannot be improved with the addition of playpen balls.
But then a couple weekends ago they had Batman Begins on TV, and it showed how he got his awesome, gas-powered grappling gun. I began to wonder all of the remarkable uses a gas-powered grappling gun would have in daily life: I could quickly cross the street; I wouldn't have to climb six flights of stairs to get to my friend's apartment; I would have a supercool way of making stylish entrances and exits; no longer would I have to walk the long way around to get to another aisle in the grocery store -- and so on.
So I was presented with a troubling existential problem: would having a gas-powered grappling gun improve situations more than the addition of playpen balls? After racking my brain I came up with the following scenario.
What if you were being suffocated by playpen balls? Like some kind of playpen ball quicksand. That would be the ultimate death-trap, because no human being can resist jumping in playpen balls. I can just imagine would-be murderers taking their victims out to this playpen pit-of-death and letting them jump into the bottomless abyss of bright-colored plastic balls, shrieking with glee as their heads forever disappeared beneath the surface and they sank to their tombs of delightful rainbow orbs. It would be so evil, like the scene with Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi, except for a playpen ball pit-of-death instead of that plant thing that eats people. It is so perfect because there'd be no escaping that kind of lure, only as you sank endlessly would you know its too late. There'd be no escape.
... Unless you had a gas-powered grappling gun to pull you out.
Yeah, I'd wish for Batman's gas-powered grappling gun.