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  1. #51
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    To the OP -- what is your age?

    And are you serious?

    Maybe it's common to carry around bowie knives in plain sight on your person in Houston but that does not fly in most other cities, at least not the ones on the east and west coasts and midwest and yes, even the south that I've been to (unless you count Florida as it's own entity separate from the 'real' south)

    First, a club/bar/pool hall is a private establishment. Owners don't like getting sued and losing their liquor licenses. Patrons don't like getting stabbed whether it's intentional or accidental. And "Sorry dude, I meant to stab the guy next to you" generally doesn't make people feel better.

    It's the obvious standard that you can't bring weapons inside entertainment establishments, not the exception.

    So I'm having a really hard time wrapping my brain around your outrage at not being able to bring a weapon into a nightlife establishment. Unless Houston is just an anomaly in this respect.

    And generally the rougher the crowd, the tighter the security. You can't even get into the lesbianclubs with prescription medication in your purse...and at gay clubs the security is notoriously lax. As for hetero joints, my coworker told me about a club with security so tight women take off their underwire bras to get through the metal detectors. This is in the same city, btw.

    Or else security is completely non existent, but the fact there were bouncers in your story makes me think the owners are aware and care about the safety of patrons.

    I'm surprised the bouncers didn't pat you down or ask the obvious question of whether you had weapons on you. The bouncers you mention sound nice merely asking you to leave your knife outside and not even getting in your face about it or kicking you out + they didn't catch the knife in the first place = they aren't competent. From my observation, bouncers generally are very aggro, not very 'people skilled' and have something to prove.

    People get stabbed in bars and clubs ALL THE TIME. Fist fights are bad enough but + weapon is worse.

    Also, you are hypervigilant about your safety and the perceived threats in your environment. This in itself isn't a judgement call, just an observation. But hypervigilant young men + a macho attitude + a knife in a crowd and + dareisay, something to prove? is BAD NEWS not just for yourself but for everyone around you.

    And my critique of the OP is not about safety or reality. It's about your attitude.

    As a woman living in an urban environment, especially when I had to walk home alone late at night I carried a boxcutter with me. Many of my female friends carry pepper spray, knives, shanks, u-locks, take self-defense, etc. I know many friends and friends of friends, all female, who have been assaulted, sexually and otherwise in very public places like the street. You don't need to lecture to any woman about the need to be safe in this world and at least you don't have to deal with the everpresent fear of rape. The typical (single) woman in a city is VERY aware of real threats to her safety, but generally even when hypervigilant such as yourself, women do not exude the feelings of entitlement and aggression that men have and that you portrayed in your OP and follow up posts.

    This is about your attitude in regards to having a weapon.

    And the discussion about how you need to be able to defend yourself and it's okay to have weapons if you know what to do with it in this case is just feeding into more machismo justification.

    I've taken a lot of self-defense workshops and have a martial arts background and the idea that most MEN have that they can handle a knife/gun/etc. and they are qualified and safe with them in public is BULLSHIT. As in grounded in a sense of machismo and/or need to prove something as apposed to grounded in reality. People in general GREATLY overestimate their skill with weapons and their self-defense prowess and greatly underestimate their unintentional threat to themselves, bystanders, others.

    Part of the reason I dropped my Krav Maga sessions was that I was surrounded by a bunch of uncoordinated men with something to prove who also lacked the respect for others that traditional martial arts would have given them. Basically, they were fucking DANGEROUS (seriously, some of them were straight up SPAZZES) during sparring because they didn't know what the fuck they were doing but they thought they did and part of the reason they were doing Krav Maga was to prove to themselve and others that they were "tough".

    Bad, bad combination again for themselves and those around them.

    I don't think this thread should degenerate into a discussion about the sad state of the world today and what an unsafe place it is because it justifies, rewards, and encourages the sense of entitlement, aggression, and excessive amount of machismo in the OP, three things that are real 'public safety' issues.

  2. #52
    Mamma said knock you out Mempy's Avatar
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    And "Sorry dude, I meant to stab the guy next to you" generally doesn't make people feel better.
    Hahah. I love you, CzeCze.

    Fucking awesome post, girl. (Yeah, I did finish it.)
    They're running just like you
    For you, and I, wooo
    So people, people, need some good ol' love

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    And the discussion about how you need to be able to defend yourself and it's okay to have weapons if you know what to do with it in this case is just feeding into more machismo justification.

    I don't think this thread should degenerate into a discussion about the sad state of the world today and what an unsafe place it is because it justifies, rewards, and encourages the sense of entitlement, aggression, and excessive amount of machismo in the OP, three things that are real 'public safety' issues.
    I originally thought the discussion of digressing into that, however, the state of the world correlates to why people perceive that they need a weapon in the first place.

    I don't agree with certain weapons (I don't even carry one) but I understand why people have them, right or wrong. I didn't really want to comment on BMS's use b/c it's a personal choice and I won't point at him and tell him they're wrong without knowing more about him. But again, it doesn't mean I agree on having a weapon. Where he lives, it may just be that he needs it or perceives to need it, right or wrong. The city I live in is not so violent (well, in certain parts and it's growing...). I live in a nice area and I don't have that much fear as someone living in a less violent neighbourhood might. That isn't to say I'm without fear or unaware of danger, however.

    I still think that it's mostly intention when it comes to weapons and learning to operate one, whether you plan to use it or not, which can be helpful when attacked by someone you've successfully stopped hurting you once taking that weapon away from them. Sure, there are a bunch of rowdy pretentious males who seek to show off and whatnot. Society's to blame mostly for raising boys to not cry because it's a weakness (though I latched onto that, myself). They're taught to be macho and to "defend the fairer sex" and all other shots on bullshit. Just as girls are taught the opposite.

    Self-defence and martial arts can be used to attack people. It's the intention and inherent understanding behind the principles of only attacking to protect or to defend oneself or those around you which displays not only the competence of application but the comprehension of those ideals.

    Hopefully in the future we won't need weapons but should there ever be a time where we are so comfortable without keeping up defence or understanding that a weapon can always be made (from a stick to a gun etc) that when 'someone' or something decides to attack us for our ignorance of them, we are thusly doomed to their aggression or violence or plans for us. Same thing can apply to anything. We as humans often forget history or its cyclical patterns of violence. Our collective violence has never gone away, it's only that we've developed tools that go automatic or are more dangerous than a stick.

    Once we understand the whys of violence, we can apply the whats on putting an end to it. And once we push society to change its views and get rid of curruption in governments and religion etc However, it is always wise to be aware of potential threat. Not to endorse it, but to simply to be aware that it could happen. With anything.

    I also realised that this is a personal blog a short while ago and really, we can say what we want but if you or athenian200 or I want to mount over a corpse for a cause there are other threads to put it in or we can make ones ourselves on why weapons are bad for society or whatever you want to champion. I'm not mocking you, btw. Perfectly serious as I realise this is something important to both of you.

    The guy's just telling it as it is, regardless of whether you or I deem it being right. It's his story or stories, so one shouldn't take part, to be honest, if one don't like what's being said. That isn't to say that you should allow w/e ignorance you feel is being touted but that your being assertive with your views will not be welcomed in here as much in an personal thread that isn't a blog. Oii hope I spat that one right lol

    So please don't feel so offended. I don't say that condescendingly either.

  4. #54
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeliriousDisposition View Post
    I know that, during my worst depression, I just faded into my own world. I was jaded, sarcastic and apathetic of people and the world at large.

    But in so fading, you only change your reality. If you want to push for change around you, you gotta pick up the torch and fight for what you want (however nicely you may want to do it Let others do the dirty work, if you want~). It's when you do that you can help change the reality around you.

    We can't start over with a new design but we can make a new design for the future. So get to grafting your design all around you! We want you to come play with us. Come'on, you wanna play too, I'm sure~

    Fear is something we use for self-protection against something new that we perceive to be a threat. Whether it's a new idea or a new ethnicity or anything else. Arming yourself with knowledge helps minimize that fear and eventually overcome it. You can then brave yourself in knowing that either it wasn't so bad to begin with or that it's something you must fight back in order to protect your ideals.

    Wanna live on a higher level of existence? Gotta help everyone else get there too. Or it's you living on your own and that's never fun
    I'm willing to personally respect the BMS's decision (even though he doesn't need it, I still want to offer the respect as a gesture of friendship). But I wouldn't choose to do it myself. I am not willing to say that what seems right to me in this instance is right for everyone.

    I agree that fear is no way to live, and that's why I will choose to take the risk of going about in public unarmed. I just choose to place my faith in my fellow citizens and my own diplomacy skills instead of a weapon. It's also related to my personal ideals. I feel that part of the reason we participate in a society in the first place is to rise above the natural state. I feel that for me to carry a weapon would indicate a lack of faith in my fellow citizens, and a willingness to take justice into my own hands. If I permit either, then I feel I have no right to participate in a society. I'm prepared to die for my beliefs, but I'm not prepared to kill for them... that would just be too much for me.

    Sorry, I didn't realize this was a personal blog until now. I'm just going to leave this message to clarify my perspective on what I've said earlier.

  5. #55
    Enigma Nadir's Avatar
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    Honestly, once I look past the so-called social stigma, I can see why ByMySword would carry a knife. I can see why I would carry a knife, even though I haven't ever (for now). What I don't agree with is the great amount of value judgment going on. For example (and this is only because it is one of the more recent replies, nothing personal):

    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze
    As a woman living in an urban environment, especially when I had to walk home alone late at night I carried a boxcutter with me. Many of my female friends carry pepper spray, knives, shanks, u-locks, take self-defense, etc. I know many friends and friends of friends, all female, who have been assaulted, sexually and otherwise in very public places like the street. You don't need to lecture to any woman about the need to be safe in this world and at least you don't have to deal with the everpresent fear of rape. The typical (single) woman in a city is VERY aware of real threats to her safety,
    There's essentially no difference between CzeCze's female friends carrying pepper spray, knives, and other weapons, and ByMySword doing the same. It amounts to the same thing. The "feelings of entitlement and aggression" are things that you're interpreting. Why? Because ByMySword is a male, and because the focus of the story he's telling is the knife, and his command of the language points you toward that direction. But it is what you see. Shift the focus to the actual experience instead of the knife and I would venture to guess that people's criticism would similarly be less. Because you don't know anything about ByMySword. All you see is the knife and your associations of the knife as a weapon or a social dynamic. To that end I truly don't see the point in criticising the guy, especially because the intention behind the criticism seems not to suggest something better, or to clarify what is wrong, but simply to air one's own differing views. Also:
    ...but generally even when hypervigilant such as yourself, women do not exude the feelings of entitlement and aggression that men have and that you portrayed in your OP and follow up posts.
    Even if we assume this to be the infallible truth, why don't they? This is not the women's fault. It is the past and the present's. Civilization asks women to comply, and they do. Same deal with most men -- and mavericks get criticized by the compliant.

    Now I'm not calling anybody here sheep. But I wonder how much of the criticism stems from careful consideration and contemplation, as opposed to subconscious residue from social structure and perceived stigma.
    Not really.

  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    I'm willing to personally respect the BMS's decision (even though he doesn't need it, I still want to offer the respect as a gesture of friendship). But I wouldn't choose to do it myself. I am not willing to say that what seems right to me in this instance is right for everyone.

    I agree that fear is no way to live, and that's why I will choose to take the risk of going about in public unarmed. I just choose to place my faith in my fellow citizens and my own diplomacy skills instead of a weapon. It's also related to my personal ideals. I feel that part of the reason we participate in a society in the first place is to rise above the natural state. I feel that for me to carry a weapon would indicate a lack of faith in my fellow citizens, and a willingness to take justice into my own hands. If I permit either, then I feel I have no right to participate in a society. I'm prepared to die for my beliefs, but I'm not prepared to kill for them... that would just be too much for me.

    Sorry, I didn't realize this was a personal blog until now. I'm just going to leave this message to clarify my perspective on what I've said earlier.
    When you bolded my words on "fight" and "fight back" for your ideals, they weren't meant as in 'fighting to kill", I just meant fighting or arguing out or pushing to make your ideals known. I'd say only fight physically if you are being attacked, as in self-defence, otherwise absolutely not--- As for lack of faith in your fellow citizens, you have already said before you're afraid of going out due to people who are violent etc. You ARE aware that there are people out there who are violent so you do have lack of faith in people in general who might try to hurt you or others. What I think you have, correct me, is faith in wanting to believe others aren't violent or can change.

    We trust officers to defend us implicitly as we are taught that's what they do but how many people have been unjustly harmed by them due to prejudice or bad calls etc?

  7. #57
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DeliriousDisposition View Post
    As for lack of faith in your fellow citizens, you have already said before you're afraid of going out due to people who are violent etc. You ARE aware that there are people out there who are violent so you do have lack of faith in people in general who might try to hurt you or others. What I think you have, correct me, is faith in wanting to believe others aren't violent or can change.
    I meant that I have been afraid of going out for that reason in the past, not that I am now. Like I said, I had already decided that I wouldn't stay inside out of that kind of fear anymore. I just mentioned that to let BMS know that I knew what he was talking about when he said that he felt threatened by his environment and other people.

  8. #58
    Senior Member swordpath's Avatar
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    There is definitely an issue with taking a weapon into an establishment that's focus is to aid people in becoming intoxicated. You kidding me?


    P.S. BMS - What is your avatar from?

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    I meant that I have been afraid of going out for that reason in the past, not that I am now. Like I said, I had already decided that I wouldn't stay inside out of that kind of fear anymore. I just mentioned that to let BMS know that I knew what he was talking about when he said that he felt threatened by his environment and other people.
    Oopsies! It's hard remembering something so many posts ago lol However, the having faith, or rather lack of, for society and citizens still counts to me. When you said that you wouldn't take 'justice' in your own hands it makes me think of so many billions who do so because there is such injustice and the people supposedly 'protecting' them are either not doing so or are deliberately going against them due to their power. If you lived outside of America, pretty hostile as it is, and lived in a 3rd World country, you'll find that there is little to no faith of people harming one another but hope that people will stop. And it's a good portion regular people who take up arms, or fight with their ideals, to put an end to or to usher in positive changes once they've had enough of being minimized.

    It's a matter now or for the next century/ies or so to get above that state of survivalism mentality, assuming the world stabilizies collectively, then we may not worry of faith or hope but have the ability to take for granted that there is no such 'violence' anymore.

    Ah, I can but deign to dream~

  10. #60
    Enigma Nadir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheBeatGoesOn
    There is definitely an issue with taking a weapon into an establishment that's focus is to aid people in becoming intoxicated. You kidding me?
    But the thing is, this is not something inherent to the knife itself.
    For example, what is the difference between knifing someone and glassing someone? No practical difference except the means through which the assault has been carried.
    Not really.

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