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  1. #21
    almost nekkid scantilyclad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    I'm sorry you had such a difficult nursing experience. Did you have any support? The latch is the most important thing, it's true, but it often still hurts for a couple of weeks even with a good latch. (It did for me- I certainly do understand why people prefer bottle feeding.) My advice for new moms who want to breastfeed is that it will get easier, they won't always want to eat every 30 minutes, and once you get past the learning curve it will be much more pleasant. BUT my advice for mothers who do not want to breastfeed, or want to stop after doing it for a period of time, is to close their ears to nosy individuals. Learn to nod and smile!

    (And this comes from a mother who nursed for 3 years the first time, and 2 the second. I'm pretty passionate about it but it's NOT the only part of parenting that matters.)

    Everyone kept telling me it would get easier so i kept breast feeding wondering when it was going to stop hurting, and it never did. I would be crying by the end of the feeding, so i just had to stop. I was really upset about it because i really really wanted to breast feed because of all the benefits, but it was just too much for me, not to mention it was almost impossible to get him in a position that didn't hurt my scar from my c section! ahhh. After i decided to quit i was so depressed about it that i would cry when i would lactate.
    It makes me want to cry thinking about it. I feel really bad for depriving my child of something that could be more beneficial to him. However he is absolutely perfect, smart and beautiful, i could not ask for more.

    I really respect people that are able to breastfeed, no one in my family ever did it, never even tried it and i couldn't understand why. They tend to look down upon it for some reason. It seems so natural.
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  2. #22
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scantilyclad View Post
    Everyone kept telling me it would get easier so i kept breast feeding wondering when it was going to stop hurting, and it never did. I would be crying by the end of the feeding, so i just had to stop. I was really upset about it because i really really wanted to breast feed because of all the benefits, but it was just too much for me, not to mention it was almost impossible to get him in a position that didn't hurt my scar from my c section! ahhh. After i decided to quit i was so depressed about it that i would cry when i would lactate.
    It makes me want to cry thinking about it. I feel really bad for depriving my child of something that could be more beneficial to him. However he is absolutely perfect, smart and beautiful, i could not ask for more.

    I really respect people that are able to breastfeed, no one in my family ever did it, never even tried it and i couldn't understand why. They tend to look down upon it for some reason. It seems so natural.
    scantilyclad I am so glad that you shared this and your previous post talking about this! I plan on trying to breastfeed but I am very sensitive to pain. If it is real painful for me, I will try to deal with the pain for maybe a few weeks but if it gets too bad and doesn't let up I would have to stop as well. This is really helpful because it alerts me of the help it will be in having back-up plans and being prepared for these kinds of scenarios. I was planning on having bottles as a back-up for when someone watches the baby- but I need to consider what I will need to do and have if I need to go souly on the bottle.

    I have a question for you and anyone out there-

    what about breast pumps?

    Say I can't deal with breast feeding but want the child to drink breast milk-
    could I pump my own milk and then bottle feed?
    What are the breast pumps like? Do they hurt just as badly?
    And why do they differ so much in price- I have seen some that are 300 bucks and I have seen some that are 50- what is the deal with them?
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  3. #23
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    scantilyclad I am so glad that you shared this and your previous post talking about this! I plan on trying to breastfeed but I am very sensitive to pain. If it is real painful for me, I will try to deal with the pain for maybe a few weeks but if it gets too bad and doesn't let up I would have to stop as well. This is really helpful because it alerts me of the help it will be in having back-up plans and being prepared for these kinds of scenarios. I was planning on having bottles as a back-up for when someone watches the baby- but I need to consider what I will need to do and have if I need to go souly on the bottle.

    I have a question for you and anyone out there-

    what about breast pumps?

    Say I can't deal with breast feeding but want the child to drink breast milk-
    could I pump my own milk and then bottle feed?
    What are the breast pumps like? Do they hurt just as badly?
    And why do they differ so much in price- I have seen some that are 300 bucks and I have seen some that are 50- what is the deal with them?
    I too tried to breastfeed with each of our three children and switched to formula soon after. I also had cesareans with each of our children (they were medically necessary) and found that breastfeeding after surgery wasn't the most pleasant experience.

    I did receive criticism from other breastfeeding moms but mostly I found support. To me it's better to have a positive feeding experience for you and your baby rather than stress yourself (and baby) out at each feeding time.

    As for breast pumps I rented an electric one (I hear they're the best) to try out before shelling out money for a new one. If you're interested do a google search for breast pump rentals in your area. Mine was rented from a Le Leche League Rep who also offered breast feeding classes and support groups.

    One more thing, if you do decide not to breast feed after trying it (at least give it a shot) please don't beat yourself up over it. As long as you are loving, caring, feeding and changing your baby, you can't do any wrong at this stage imo. Also get the Girlfriends Guide books.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  4. #24
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    I plan on trying to breastfeed but I am very sensitive to pain. If it is real painful for me, I will try to deal with the pain for maybe a few weeks but if it gets too bad and doesn't let up I would have to stop as well.
    I have breastfed all of my 3 children.
    Don't take any pressure about breast feeding and don't stop trying too easily. It will take some time! The pain will go away, just have some good lotion that is inteded for the use close by. Be prepared that the milk flow stables in few months. So sometimes there is too much milk and sometimes too little. The baby will be ok with it. Stressfull situation prevents the breastfeeding. Remember to buy few sets of breastfeeding bras before the child is born!

    Here is a site about breastfeeding.

    One thing still, breastfeeding or not breastfeeding doesn't make anybody better or worse mother. I don't have any experience with c-section and breastfeeding, so I cannot comment about that issue.

    I have a question for you and anyone out there-

    what about breast pumps?

    Say I can't deal with breast feeding but want the child to drink breast milk-
    could I pump my own milk and then bottle feed?
    What are the breast pumps like? Do they hurt just as badly?
    And why do they differ so much in price- I have seen some that are 300 bucks and I have seen some that are 50- what is the deal with them?
    Babies are the best breast pumps in the world. The actual breast pumps are quite necessary at the beginning when there is too much milk in your breasts and there is a chance to get imflammation to your breasts (if it gets bad you need antibiotics). There are electrical pumps and hand used ones. Electrical are a bit better I would say.

    I know the prices only in my country so I can't help a lot with that question.

    What I would suggest you to buy too is one of those baby slings (or what they are called in English?) They are extremely useful when when the baby is very small and you need some chores to get done. You just tie up the sling, put the baby in and do what you need to do. Babies have a habit of being up when you need something to be done. Here is a link to a site where babyslings are sold.

    One other thing, have you considered those washable diapers? They are handy, save money and save the environment. I use them with this third child of mine. I understand if you don't want to use them because there is enough to do with a small baby even without the washable diabers.

  5. #25
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scantilyclad View Post
    Everyone kept telling me it would get easier so i kept breast feeding wondering when it was going to stop hurting, and it never did. I would be crying by the end of the feeding, so i just had to stop. I was really upset about it because i really really wanted to breast feed because of all the benefits, but it was just too much for me, not to mention it was almost impossible to get him in a position that didn't hurt my scar from my c section! ahhh. After i decided to quit i was so depressed about it that i would cry when i would lactate.
    It makes me want to cry thinking about it. I feel really bad for depriving my child of something that could be more beneficial to him. However he is absolutely perfect, smart and beautiful, i could not ask for more.

    I really respect people that are able to breastfeed, no one in my family ever did it, never even tried it and i couldn't understand why. They tend to look down upon it for some reason. It seems so natural.
    I'm so sorry you had a hard time. The best thing for your baby is what works. For him, for you, for the family. So you did the best thing. He is loved and cared for and happy. That is what matters. For some people breastfeeding is easy and for others it is hard. It was easy for me, easier than preparing and washing bottles, so I do not ever look down on any one who has a difficult time and decides not to nurse. If someone says anything mean to you about it, I want to punch them in the nose.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #26
    Strongly Ambivalent Ivy's Avatar
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    ladypinkington- you certainly can pump and feed. Your supply just probably won't be the same as it would be if the baby were at your breast regularly. The bewbz prefer a baby to a pump for many reasons- one, the baby is a much better sucker than the pump. And even beyond that, you're pre-programmed to respond to your baby by making milk. Not so much the breast pump. You may notice after the baby is born that when you hear YOUR baby crying your milk lets down and you get spots on your shirt. Some women keep a photo of their baby with the breast pump and find that this helps them produce better for the pump.

    Jen is correct that the electric breast pumps are best if you'll be pumping regularly (either for work or another reason). For occasional pumping, if you'll mostly be with the baby but want to be able to supply breastmilk when someone else is watching the baby, the Avent Isis is a really good hand pump.

    scantilyclad, if your baby wasn't latching on I'm not surprised it continued to hurt beyond the first couple-three weeks. But remember this: it is NOT YOUR FAULT. *hug* Back in the day, we would have grown up watching our mothers, aunts, and other women nurse babies. We would have already known a lot about how to do it before our own babies came. Our ancestors had friends and family members who would be helping them learn to breastfeed and take care of problems. When nobody in your immediate circle of friends and family is supportive, let alone has the information you need to get through the tough parts, it can feel like you're pushing a boulder uphill.

    Which means that ladypinkington's comment that your experiences inspire her to be prepared are SO right on. Surround yourself with people who are supportive of the choices you've made (attitudes make a huge difference), have some knowledgeable resources in place, and be ready to ask for help with the possible problems. If you can get through the first few weeks, you'll be home free.

    (I was a La Leche League leader when my daughter was young- I didn't continue because I thought they were too single-minded and would shame women into continuing to nurse exclusively when they were spread thin and might have benefited from supplementing or switching. The ideal was all they would accept. IMO, if women want to nurse, I am 100% willing to help in any way that I can, but if they don't, who am I to cluck at them? That's just rude. AND- it's not all or nothing. Exclusive breastfeeding is best but you can do a bit of both if you need to.)
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  7. #27
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    If you choose not to breastfeed and someone says something negative to you, send us their name and address and Cafe and I will take care of business for you since you'll be busy with your new baby and all.
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  8. #28
    almost nekkid scantilyclad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladypinkington View Post
    scantilyclad I am so glad that you shared this and your previous post talking about this! I plan on trying to breastfeed but I am very sensitive to pain. If it is real painful for me, I will try to deal with the pain for maybe a few weeks but if it gets too bad and doesn't let up I would have to stop as well. This is really helpful because it alerts me of the help it will be in having back-up plans and being prepared for these kinds of scenarios. I was planning on having bottles as a back-up for when someone watches the baby- but I need to consider what I will need to do and have if I need to go souly on the bottle.

    I have a question for you and anyone out there-

    what about breast pumps?

    Say I can't deal with breast feeding but want the child to drink breast milk-
    could I pump my own milk and then bottle feed?
    What are the breast pumps like? Do they hurt just as badly?
    And why do they differ so much in price- I have seen some that are 300 bucks and I have seen some that are 50- what is the deal with them?
    I really hope you are able to breastfeed and that you don't experience the same kind of pain i did. I think i was mostly just overwhelmed with pain, not only with the breast pain, but the c section pain as well. I am also very sensitive to pain. After i decided for sure to stop breastfeeding i went out and bought bottles that would closely mimic breast feeding, because he was so used to the breast already,so i didn't want him to have as much trouble adapting to something a bit different.

    He adapted to bottle feeding quite quickly, and he loved it. He seemed much happier after he ate, and i was much happier too. The biggest obstacle for my boyfriend and i has been formula. It is very expensive. Luckily we qualified for WIC, so they give us 9 12oz containers of it a month, so that is really helpful.

    I would make 2 bottles before we went to bed at night,and keep them in the mini fridge in our room. We bought a bottle warmer, so when the baby was ready to eat i would just have to get up, and put the bottle in the warmer. While it was warming i would change his diaper and the bottle would be ready, he would feed and go back to sleep. The bottle warmer and having the bottles pre made, really made the nights a lot easier for me. I also think if i would have had to make a bottle after just waking up, i would mess things up, i tend to be very very delirious when i wake up.

    As far as pumps go, i've also heard that electric are the best way to go. I thought about buying one, but i figured if the breast feeding was hurting, that the pump would only enhance that, so i opted not to.


    I wish you the best of luck with breastfeeding!
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  9. #29
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    A lot of women are using baby slings now.
    They help insure that baby and Mommy have a lot of bonding time together.
    Babies that are not held enough can suffer physical and emotional problems.

    I loved Onesies!

    As far as baby bottles, I used the kind that had a disposable plastic liner that I could squeeze all the air out of before I fed the baby.

    I just found this site as I was looking for the name of them. They suggest you use glass.
    Guide to Baby-Safe Bottles & Formula | Environmental Working Group
    Plastic baby bottles: Are they safe? - BabyCenter

    Here's an article on bottles and nipples:
    ConsumerReports.org - Baby bottles and nipples 4/07

    I chose to use pacifiers because thumb-sucking ran in my husband's family, to a late age. You can throw away a pacifier, you can't cut off a thumb. Well, you can, but it's not ideal.

    I tried to use cloth diapers but I don't think they're sanitary. You can't always change a diaper immediately. Disposable Luvs seemed to work great and were the least expensive on a per/diaper basis.

    I had a playpen for my babies when they were little so they would have a safe environment to play in that was bigger than a crib.


    An ISTJ friend of mine came up with this little trick. When you're nursing, sometimes you can have leakage from the other breast. She would take a tiny little cup and catch the milk. She might get one tablespoon at a time. She would save it in the freezer, and when she needed some for a babysitter, she would have a supply available.

    Nursing was very difficult with my firstborn, and I never did get the hang of supply and demand. After 3 months, I felt like I didn't have enough milk and I switched to soy formula. With my other 2, I had no problem. One nursed for 9 months and the other for 13 months. Both quit on their own.

    Did anyone mention a diaper bag? Basically, there is no such thing as a small purse for a woman with a baby. You must have a large bag to carry everything around in.

    Also, I made a habit of having a jug of tap water and a roll of paper towels in my vehicle at all times.

    I wish you good success.

    Children make life worth living. I'm sure you will both be great parents.

  10. #30
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    One of the best thing I've heard about choosing a breast pump was from a WIC lactation consultant: Do not buy a breast pump made by a company that produces baby formula.

    I didn't ever use any kind of electric pump outside of the hospital, but I did use the hand pump that the hospital sent home with me that was part of the disposable accessory package for use in the hospital. It wouldn't have worked for using full-time or for pumping regularly at work, but it did fine for those first few weeks before my milk flow adjusted to what my baby needed. It was a medela and I was very pleased with it.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

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