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View Poll Results: Career or friends?

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  • Having tons of friends and a vivid social life, but being chronically unemployed, Male

    6 28.57%
  • Having the most successful and satisfying career you could imagine but having no friends, Male

    9 42.86%
  • Having tons of friends and a vivid social life, but being chronically unemployed, Female

    0 0%
  • Having the most successful and satisfying career you could imagine but having no friends, Female

    6 28.57%
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  1. #21
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    I would like to think that friendship comes out the winner, but in reality that wont work unless you are willing to remain a low educated parasite on society. Or have the unlikely fortune that you and your friends end up on the same street in the end.

  2. #22
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    Q-Kat, I'm more interested in where you read this from. Seems like something from the dark ages when women were chattels. These are NOT real friends so women might as well lose them.
    I got it from one of my study books, "Personality Psychology, Domains of Knowledge about Human Nature, Fourth Edition" by Randy J. Larsen and David M. Buss:
    fear of success Horney (pronounced hor-ni, not hor-nee like the English word for being sexually aroused, German psychoanalist/psychiatrist, red.) coined this phrase to highlight a gender difference in response to competition and achievement situations. Many women, she argued, feel that if they succeed, they will lose their friends. Consequently, many women, she thought, harbor an unconscious fear of success. She held that men, on the other hand, feel that they will actually gain friends by being successful and hence are not afraid at all to strive and pursue achievement.
    It's very old, because Karen Horney died in 1952, but I think it still counts for a lot of women. I chose for a career, because a satisfying career will always be satisfying and because I learned very early that you can't depend on your friends because most people are selfish, have a hidden agenda and will ruin you when they gain any benefit from it.
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
    - George W. Bush -


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  3. #23
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queen Kat View Post
    I learned very early that you can't depend on your friends because most people are selfish, have a hidden agenda and will ruin you when they gain any benefit from it.
    you can depend on your friends, but knowing who are really your friends isnt always that easy.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  4. #24
    Senior Member Eckhart's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    you can depend on your friends, but knowing who are really your friends isnt always that easy.
    I have yet to find those fabulous, so called real friends which are always for you there in bad times to lend you a helping hand, they don't seem to exist in my realm, and there were times where I doubted they even exist at all.

  5. #25
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    you can depend on your friends, but knowing who are really your friends isnt always that easy.
    Have you ever lost all of your friends because you got in a tiny little trivial fight with someone with more status, found yourself left with only your mother to depend on and realized you wouldn't be able to fix your social life for another few years? See. I had a lot of friends and in the end it turned out none of them were "real friends". Real friends don't exist, people will always remain egocentric, no matter what.
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
    - George W. Bush -


    SCUAI - 7w8 sx/sp - Chaotic Evil - Fucking Cute - ALIVE

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    If you don't agree about my MBTI type, you can complain about it here. I've had plenty of people telling me I'm something else, in my reputation box. That's annoying.

  6. #26
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I put nearly all my energy into my career and plan to continue to do so. I virtually never socialize, and when I do it is work-related. I wouldn't know what to do with tons of friends. That would stress me out. My dream would be to live as a hermit, with my buddy, work online, have a recording studio where I can document all my creative work, send things out in the mail and have some performances in the outside world done by other people.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  7. #27
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    People are egocentric yes, there's no doubt about that. But it sounds to me Kat as if you just picked the wrong ones. Since they didn't pass your trial by fire you are probably better off without them. In my time I've had several close friends that I've known for the most part of my life and so far there's only two that I can trust without a doubt, they would fall under my definition of real friends.

  8. #28
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queen Kat View Post
    Have you ever lost all of your friends because you got in a tiny little trivial fight with someone with more status, found yourself left with only your mother to depend on and realized you wouldn't be able to fix your social life for another few years? See. I had a lot of friends and in the end it turned out none of them were "real friends". Real friends don't exist, people will always remain egocentric, no matter what.
    no, but even tho you had a bad experience, it doesent mean that real friends doesent exist, it just means that those people werent your real friends. usually more friends you got, less real friends you got, its simply because when you got more people to bond, you wont have time to bond with single individual enough to make real friends with him. also by thinking that no one is real friend for you, you will eliminate the possibility for real friendship since you wont go there with anyone because of the fear of them turning their back on you.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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  9. #29
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTP View Post
    no, but even tho you had a bad experience, it doesent mean that real friends doesent exist, it just means that those people werent your real friends. usually more friends you got, less real friends you got, its simply because when you got more people to bond, you wont have time to bond with single individual enough to make real friends with him. also by thinking that no one is real friend for you, you will eliminate the possibility for real friendship since you wont go there with anyone because of the fear of them turning their back on you.
    I personally think "real friendship" is just like fairies, it only exists if you believe in it.
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
    - George W. Bush -


    SCUAI - 7w8 sx/sp - Chaotic Evil - Fucking Cute - ALIVE

    Blog. Read it, bitches.
    Questions? Click here
    If you don't agree about my MBTI type, you can complain about it here. I've had plenty of people telling me I'm something else, in my reputation box. That's annoying.

  10. #30
    Senior Member INTP's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Queen Kat View Post
    I personally think "real friendship" is just like fairies, it only exists if you believe in it.
    actually. everything you believe to exist, does exist for you.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung

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