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  1. #1
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    Default Got problems? We have the answer!

    Are you unhappy with the direction your life is taking? Do you suspect your mate may be cheating on you? Is your boss a shit head who pushes your buttons? These are just a few examples of life's frustrations we can help you work through. If you have a problem, we have your solution so ask away!

    "We" is anyone with common sense who has a decent solution for your problem. If you offer crap advice, expect the smackdown!
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  2. #2
    unscannable Tigerlily's Avatar
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    I'll start. I have an opinionated ESFJ neighbor who always finds a way to insult people who have more than she does. She is jealous, bitter and comments on everyone which drives me crazy! How should I deal with her?

    PS I've tried ignoring her by pretending she doesn't exist, but she keeps pushing her way back into my life!
    Time is a delicate mistress.

  3. #3
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jen View Post
    I'll start. I have an opinionated ESFJ neighbor who always finds a way to insult people who have more than she does. She is jealous, bitter and comments on everyone which drives me crazy! How should I deal with her?
    First off, don't expect her to change. Any solution that works for you will have to revolve around how you deal with the situation, not how you help her become a better person.

    The first thing I would try to do is to change yourself by developing a reflex to love this neighbor. Every time she does something to p!ss you off, bake her some cookies or get her a greeting card or something. Yeah, I know it's tough, but it beats fuming all the time, and it will honestly help you feel better.

    And if that doesn't work, move.

  4. #4
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    How do you find the motivation to change jobs? To meet all those new smiling (often falsely) faces brimming with the usual expectations only to go through the same rigmarole of explaining "no I'm not like any stereotype you posses". To actually rearrange half of your waking life merely to get more money and prospects of more hassle for even more money later. How..? Why..?
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  5. #5
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    How do you find the motivation to change jobs? To meet all those new smiling (often falsely) faces brimming with the usual expectations only to go through the same rigmarole of explaining "no I'm not like any stereotype you posses". To actually rearrange half of your waking life merely to get more money and prospects of more hassle for even more money later. How..? Why..?
    Imagine yourself in the same job in ten years. Do you like what you see? If you do, you don't need to change jobs. If you don't, then you might be motivated to do something about it.

    Imagine what happens if you lose your job. Do you know where you would go next? Or would you be completely lost and have to start from scratch? Maybe this will motivate you to start now.

    But if all else fails, the easiest way to force yourself to find a new job is to start doing dumb-ass things at your old job, so that you get fired. Then you have no choice but to look for work, lest you live under a bridge burning trash for warmth at night and digging your meals out of dumpsters. (Last option not for the faint of heart or stomach.)
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #6
    Oberon
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    How do you find the motivation to change jobs? To meet all those new smiling (often falsely) faces brimming with the usual expectations only to go through the same rigmarole of explaining "no I'm not like any stereotype you posses". To actually rearrange half of your waking life merely to get more money and prospects of more hassle for even more money later. How..? Why..?
    Those who don't like working for others always have the option of working for themselves. The risk is greater, but then so are the rewards.

  7. #7
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    Those who don't like working for others always have the option of working for themselves. The risk is greater, but then so are the rewards.
    Wise mouse.

  8. #8
    ~dangerous curves ahead~
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xander View Post
    How do you find the motivation to change jobs? To meet all those new smiling (often falsely) faces brimming with the usual expectations only to go through the same rigmarole of explaining "no I'm not like any stereotype you posses". To actually rearrange half of your waking life merely to get more money and prospects of more hassle for even more money later. How..? Why..?
    If you have to ask that question, I'd surmise there isn't sufficient push and/or pull factors for you to search for somethiing else.

    The question is as Jennifer says, what is your alternative then, which scares you more.

    Re Jen on neighbour, I love Obie's suggestion of loving thy neighbour It has the potential to be genuinely irritating to the poor neighbour.

  9. #9
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Not sure if I'm supposed to reply with counter questions but I shall take it upon myself to establish this as the first example
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Imagine yourself in the same job in ten years. Do you like what you see? If you do, you don't need to change jobs. If you don't, then you might be motivated to do something about it.
    Oh I get lost in all those possibilities long before I get to any clarity over such questions. I'm a 9! How do I discern between what could be and what I want it to turn out like?

    That's always been my problem
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Imagine what happens if you lose your job. Do you know where you would go next? Or would you be completely lost and have to start from scratch? Maybe this will motivate you to start now.
    Well that's one problem. I have no real work aspirations with any clarity and as such no hard qualifications nor any direction to follow to get one. I'm a bit stuck in confusion and fear to be honest.
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    But if all else fails, the easiest way to force yourself to find a new job is to start doing dumb-ass things at your old job, so that you get fired. Then you have no choice but to look for work, lest you live under a bridge burning trash for warmth at night and digging your meals out of dumpsters. (Last option not for the faint of heart or stomach.)
    Definitely fear on that one. I'd have to cause trouble and stuff plus weather the backlash before the final stroke hit! In conclusion :eek:
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

  10. #10
    Lex Parsimoniae Xander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oberon View Post
    Those who don't like working for others always have the option of working for themselves. The risk is greater, but then so are the rewards.
    Oddly enough I never have a problem with those I work for only with those I work with. I'm just not built for the whole maze of human interaction on that level!
    Isn't it time for a colourful metaphor?

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