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  1. #161
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adasta View Post
    They smell good.
    Some of them yeah. Like the ones with good hygiene.

  2. #162
    He who laughs
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    For a sloppy summary:
    Men can be over-focused on their own power.
    Women can be over-focused on their own relationships.

    It's not necessarily bad, since it contributes to a continuing investment in one's achievements or relationships.

    But it doesn't meant the other side should be downplaying it.
    It's important to feel like one has achieved something of value and has self-power.
    It's also important to have fulfilling and secure relationships.

    If I had to stereotype the genders, it would be that each is absorbed in one and downplays the other; some moderation would be nice.
    Each pursuit has to be taken seriously, just probably toned down a bit to avoid distortion.

    Then again, I'm not sure I would say that a woman's view of her relationships is unrealistic, since usually she is the one who keeps the relationship on track because the man is downplaying it. If there is a lack of communication going on, I would say statistically she's not the main culprit... and usually the man is sailing fine (because he's getting what he wants) and wondering why she's so upset. That's the funny thing with relationships; if it's bad for just one of the two, or one person is not getting what they want, then the relationship is failing. It has to be a negotiation where both invest and build something that suits both of them.

    I'm still not sure what this has to do with the way the culture USED to be, though, where everything was very compartmentalized, and women were at a detriment, since a man can pursue power on his own and didn't have to invest in his relationships except from a distance, whereas the woman was often robbed of the relationship she wanted with her husband without having any social power to make changes to the order. There were natural inequities in the system.
    I agree with pretty much all here. Its a partnership not parent-child relationship. I agree. And I agree that men are good at playing the child role and some play it all their lives.

    I have a great rolemodel in my father but Im still afraid that I might end up as one of those weaklings of men.

    I do however think that a lot of men still only have the rethoric of "me strong man, you weak woman" and not the skills to adapt to a changed society where nurture is needed aswell. Nurture is not a feminine trait, both men and women possess it. Its just that men still think that providing is more important than nurture. Old rethoric.

  3. #163
    Senior Member LunarMoon's Avatar
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    Your MBTI type is very fitting.

    Quote Originally Posted by aprilfool View Post
    Manly Men, who like Women.....
    Somewhere in a blend of Russel Crowe, Mike Holmes and Chef Ramsey.
    A Protector, A Builder and A Chef.
    Not a tall order....
    In short, you want someone who's better than you are. Why would someone who’s a protector, a builder, and a chef gravitate to you? What do you have to offer? It sounds harsh but I think that it’s a legitimate question that many people never ask.
    Surgeons replace one of your neurons with a microchip that duplicates its input-output functions. You feel and behave exactly as before. Then they replace a second one, and a third one, and so on, until more and more of your brain becomes silicon. Since each microchip does exactly what the neuron did, your behavior and memory never change. Do you even notice the difference? Does it feel like dying? Is some other conscious entity moving in with you?
    -Steven Pinker on the Ship of Theseus Paradox

  4. #164
    What is, is. Arthur Schopenhauer's Avatar
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    Oh, I suppose I don't qualify as a man then... The irony of paradoxical ambiguous-absolutes...

    INTJ | 5w4 - Sp/Sx/So | 5-4-(9/1) | RLoEI | Melancholic-Choleric | Johari & Nohari

    This will not end well...
    But it will at least be poetic, I suppose...

    Hmm... But what if it does end well?
    Then I suppose it will be a different sort of poetry, a preferable sort...
    A sort I could become accustomed to...



  5. #165
    No Cigar Litvyak's Avatar
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    ... the irony of Schopenhauer posting in a feminist thread, lol.

  6. #166
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aprilfool View Post
    Manly Men, who like Women.....
    Somewhere in a blend of Russel Crowe, Mike Holmes and Chef Ramsey.
    A Protector, A Builder and A Chef.
    Not a tall order....
    By this definition my husband doesn't fit the qualities of a real man.... But I'll take him over any other man, any other day.

    He opens doors for me. He refuses to let me walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street. He can't cook, but knows that's okay because I love cooking, and would prefer he stay out of the kitchen, except to help me prep (which he is glad to do and always offers before I even ask). He's not much of a builder, but he is a damn fine provider. He is definitely a protector. A little bit too much of one at times. He is a real man in my eyes and that's all that matters.

    PS... And he's got strong swimmers... And will make a great father in six months.

  7. #167
    Riva
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    Manly Men, who like Women.....

    Women I likeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eee,
    Sex I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

    Well sex comes 1st, the women enters my mind to fill the void. But I shall always remember the girl and keep a special place in my heart for her.

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