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  1. #121
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Litvyak View Post
    You are witty beyond comprehension. Here, have a medal.
    How sweet -- you're going to share your Cracker Jack collection with me?

    Srysly, though, looks like ThatGirl went ahead to explain some of what I was hinting at.

    @Marm: Yes, a lot of that too.

    What I find when talking with my women friends, we like men who engage. That doesn't necessarily mean dominate, or abuse, or control. But it does some level of assertion on the personal level. We don't like feeling like we're completely responsible for all of the relationship or the practical issues involved with having the relationship, there has to be an investment from the guy.

    So in a situation where initially you have to choose between a guy who is assertive or has potency vs some guy who seems passive, disinterested, or disconnected, a woman would be likely to pick the assertive guy... then later have issues if he is domineering or abusive. His need for control is too high to establish the desired relationship, it's simply become a master/slave relationship.

    Women typically didn't have the option of disengaging, if raising kids... and women typically have a chemical balance that shifts us toward that level of emotional engagement, to some degree. It was funny how feminism shifted in the second and later waves -- a feminist didn't have to hate men, avoid motherhood, have a high-paying job, etc (i.e., resemble men in order to have social power), she was free to engage whatever she wanted to engage.

    Men seem to flip more as a group back and forth and don't know where to find the sweet spot in the middle, resulting in groups of domineering men vs passive men. There's got to be some way for masculine power to provide initiative and achieve goals without losing the ability to engage people with that power and make a difference in one's relationship commitments.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  2. #122
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Let's see... according to the basic picture I'm getting from some guys here a real woman would:

    - always look good, smell good and feel good
    - greet him at the door with a martini, dinner on the table and a clean house
    - let him make the decisions and not let him know when he's wrong or being an idiot
    - should be more valuable for her appearance than her brain
    - hopefully also makes a good living at a "ladylike" occupation so that he doesn't have to work for 2 to keep the house paid up and the bills covered
    - won't ask him out, will laugh at his jokes and will sit with her ankles crossed to the side
    - probably doesn't menstruate, but is able to conceive and raise children with no fuss nonetheless



    I don't know, but I don't respect a doormat, either male or female
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #123
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Yeah, this is what is behind "women like assholes" unfortunately. It's not so much that a woman wants to be abused or treated badly, but that she is instinctively drawn to someone who takes control. But I say "woman" in general because some women don't like that at all, and really do prefer to be the dominant one in the relationship.

    Sometimes women are confused and think they want something they don't, anyway. My youngest sister married a very traditional Muslim Saudi and ended up divorcing him surprisingly fast because he actually frightened her with how dominant he was.

    My math professor also told me that "most Russian men are horrible" and that I should stay away from them all unless they were "intellectuals" like him. lol. He really tried to beat it into my head how sexist Russian culture actually is, and how that mindset is still quite prevalent in most Eastern countries, and gave examples about how it's damaging to women and most American women couldn't even wrap their mind around it.

    Having grown up in West Virginia - which is thirty years behind the rest of the country - I'm sure I can wrap my mind around it, though I don't want anything to do with that, truthfully. The weird thing is, though, is that I've never met a Russian man in the United States who fit that stereotype, and the closest I've observed is some asswipe from Serbia who used to be one of my roommates when I first moved into this house (and he quickly got evicted.)

    I think women need to stop and think what "real man" means. My mother was married to some "real men" who did things like slap her hands when she didn't put a napkin in her lap, poke holes in her diaphram to keep her pregnant, and raped her and cut her brakes when she tried to divorce them.
    Sounds awful I am sorry to hear that -.- .

    I agree with what you said, I think in the end you can imagine mr.perfect or ms.perfect a quadribillion times it will come just completly differently but it will be good aswell . One thing's for sure tho, woman who tell men they are no real men will have a hard time, cause no man likes to hear a thing like that
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #124
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    Let's see... according to the basic picture I'm getting from some guys here a real woman would:

    - always look good, smell good and feel good
    - greet him at the door with a martini, dinner on the table and a clean house
    - let him make the decisions and not let him know when he's wrong or being an idiot
    - should be more valuable for her appearance than her brain
    - hopefully also makes a good living at a "ladylike" occupation so that he doesn't have to work for 2 to keep the house paid up and the bills covered
    - won't ask him out, will laugh at his jokes and will sit with her ankles crossed to the side
    - probably doesn't menstruate, but is able to conceive and raise children with no fuss nonetheless



    I don't know, but I don't respect a doormat, either male or female
    Or anything from this thread would describe a real woman as well.

  5. #125
    Ginkgo
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    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETrWZsYYJOQ"]Here![/YOUTUBE]

  6. #126
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    yeah... If I'm expected to have to follow those silly expectations I'm going to start requesting that any man I deal with:

    - reacts to being shot by taking a shot of whisky and then digging out the bullet with his own knife instead of whining about hospitals and such
    - has a permanent stubbly face that's NOT scratchy
    - never gets his ass kicked in a fistfight, but never shys away from them either
    - keeps a full head of hair as he ages
    - can fix my car with a butter knife and pipe wrench no matter what goes wrong with it
    - happily pays all of the bills without bitching, then takes me out for dinner and shopping

    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  7. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    yeah... If I'm expected to have to follow those silly expectations I'm going to start requesting that any man I deal with:

    - reacts to being shot by taking a shot of whisky and then digging out the bullet with his own knife instead of whining about hospitals and such

  8. #128
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    ^^^ The Real Men of Genius spots were actually called Real American Heroes, but it was changed after 9/11.

    I'm fond of this one:
    [YOUTUBE="OdGj-FVxOcs"]don't forget the moonlight[/YOUTUBE]
    the formless thing which gives things form!
    Found Forum Haiku Project


    Positive Spin | your feedback welcomed | Darker Criticism

  9. #129
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    So, predictably, this has turned into people trying to get each other's goats be trading demands of exaggerated (some of the time) 1950s styles gender expectations.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  10. #130
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    So, predictably, this has turned into people trying to get each other's goats be trading demands of exaggerated (some of the time) 1950s styles gender expectations.
    no... I'm just watching an Indiana Jones movie at the moment
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

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