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  1. #91
    Senior Member Lily flower's Avatar
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    If you were talking a gentleman, I think they disappeared with the women's rights movement. It's unfortunate that women couldn't obtain equal rights without scaring off polite behavior.

    If you are talking about the testosterone guys - the ones who like to hunt deer and fix trucks, then go to the rural south.

  2. #92
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    If you were talking a gentleman, I think they disappeared with the women's rights movement. It's unfortunate that women couldn't obtain equal rights without scaring off polite behavior.
    Elaborate.
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  3. #93
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slowriot View Post
    I can only refer to the debates we have here in denmark, where gender equality now, seems to be all about how few female executives, there are in danish companies. And that some political parties, are ready to put in quotas on how many female board members and executives, a company need to have. And if the companies dont comply, they are ready to dissolve that company. That is so degrading of women if you ask me. That you need a quota, because women are special. Its not what I see women in their 20s generally want, its some women in their 30s and 40s, that are still stuck on some idea, that companies run by men, will only hire men for top level jobs. Ask the women in their 20s, if they want affirmative action towards job oppurtunities. They'll say no. They want the job because they earned it, not because of some affirmative action. Plus the women in their 20s are higher educated, than their male counterparts. So its going to happen automatically.
    As long as you are sure the company is hiring based on fair and standard labor practices, then I suppose that's fine. if they aren't hiring women who are qualified simply because they are women, then we have a problem. And unfortunately, there's enough shenanigans and ambiguity in the hiring process that sometimes it's not very clear what is going on. Chances are the law will be either too lenient or too restrictive.

    I don't think men or women, blacks or whites, or any sort of other subgroup in the culture wants to be given opportunities they did not deserve. Most people would feel bad after awhile living on handouts, if they have any self-respect and awareness. The goal should be to keep a fair and level playing field. The individual rather than a demographic should be hired, I think, in general.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I'd be happy to fix you up with my ESFJ ex. I don't know how old you are, but he's in his mid-30s, will carry your groceries, walk on the street side when you stroll on the sidewalk together, lifts weights, could fight or shoot any person who would become a threat to you, will scream at you if you don't put his name first on the gift tags at Christmas time, and might smack you around if your sandwiches don't cut it.

    Let me know.
    oh yeah baby, this guy sounds like a Real Peach!
    Hook me UP
    Hence the "ex" part, eh?
    Yeah, you better hook me up with him....I just wont make him any sandwiches...

  5. #95
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    And what we can see no longer controls us. Who here wants to be a 'real' man? A 'real' man is a figure of fun. He is 'father knows best'. He only figures in the wet dreams of adolescent girls.
    [/QUOTE]

    That was very well "put".
    I do agree that as young girls many of us are pre-programmed to make sure we end up with a cookie cutter of a husband; mr. perfect....
    Some of us were led to believe that our own fathers were perfect and then we spend half a lifetime looking to replace him, when he didn't really exist in the first place.
    Why do our mothers do this to us? Why do they not pull us girls off to the side and say: "listen, my darling daughter....you're father is a bit of a moron, he flirts too much with other women and he's also quite the prick. Do yourself a favour and don't look for a man who resembles him in the least. Don't make the man you do end up with try to fit the image of what your father and I are teaching you is the ideal man."

    Really....if I'd have had that chat with my mother, I wouldn't have got divorced the first time. After my first husband, I stopped looking for my father.....and his shoes.....they just wont fit...
    My second and LAST husband was a completely different story...ends up that he is looking for the ideal man too. (but shh...it's supposed to be a secret...).

  6. #96
    Senior Member Adasta's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aprilfool View Post
    Why do our mothers do this to us? Why do they not pull us girls off to the side and say: "listen, my darling daughter....you're father is a bit of a moron, he flirts too much with other women and he's also quite the prick. Do yourself a favour and don't look for a man who resembles him in the least. Don't make the man you do end up with try to fit the image of what your father and I are teaching you is the ideal man."
    Wouldn't that be like a huge admission of defeat? I could see this working if your mother was speaking to you and you were 18 perhaps, but hearing things like that before that age would be damaging, I think. I don't know about you, but it took me until about 18 years old to realise my parents were actually two individuals that married each other, rather than "parents", if you know what I mean. MBTI helped me to understand why they fought when they did and why they loved each other how they did.

    I suppose it might be different for me because I'm a bloke...
    That girls are raped, that two boys knife a third,
    Were axioms to him, who'd never heard
    Of any world where promises were kept,
    Or one could weep because another wept.

  7. #97
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    I remember my wife and I being astonished upon bringing our first child home from the hospital. There was no licensing procedure, no instruction manual, no Parenting 101 class... this little helpless wailing poop machine was our baby, to take care of as best we could.

    It was eye-opening to realize that our own parents had been in the same situation with us.

  8. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily flower View Post
    If you were talking a gentleman, I think they disappeared with the women's rights movement. It's unfortunate that women couldn't obtain equal rights without scaring off polite behavior.

    If you are talking about the testosterone guys - the ones who like to hunt deer and fix trucks, then go to the rural south.
    I don't know if it's really about "scaring off polite behavior" or just the fact that men used to believe that women were more delicate than they actually are. Part of being a "gentleman" meant thinking that a lady was part of the weaker sex and couldn't take care of herself or even handle certain information.

    Another part of it to is that guys thought that HAD to act that way to get laid. Now that they know they can get sex more easily, it's kind of like "why bother."

    I actually see this as one of the major drawbacks of feminism.

    Well actually, women DID used to be of the weaker sex....men made sure they stayed that way by keeping them in corsets and high heels, and keeping them from owning property or having their own money.

    Plus, we still (and will always) have the natural disadvantage of being smaller, less muscular, easier to physically restrain and rape...and not to mention the fact that some women actually are sick for a couple days a month because of menstruation. Then there's pregnancy.

  9. #99
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    You are a bit of that glass is half empty persons aint you ?
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #100
    ThatGirl
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    Real men are like the moon landing. It was supposed to have been real, but there really is no proof.

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